As a child, there was always one geometric shape, if you will, that I strongly disliked:

The straight line.

Straight lines were always so rigid, so severe, and dreadfully boring.   They were fixed, cold, unfeeling little marks that, as I saw it, had no character.  I far preferred to take my crayon and haphazardly smear blue violet swirly circles all over the page, resulting in a playful demonstration of my uninhibited, childlike innocence.  There were no rules in drawing.   Anything went, and the paper was mine to explore.

Now, as an adult, my disdain for lines has grown to be even more so.  The colors of the lines we draw as adults aren’t in Crayola’s collection; these lines are invisible, yet are very, very real.  Adults draw imaginary lines between one another.

They still represent all that is rigid, severe, boring, cold and unfeeling, but now in a way that has far greater ramifications than whether or not my paper looks pretty.  And our lives–what was once a blank slate–become defined by the lines that we draw.

Lines Come In Stages

Growing up, we drew some of our earliest invisible lines separating girls versus boys and adults versus children.  Those were the categories, and we organized the people around us accordingly.

As we progressed through school, we learned to draw more invisible lines between the haves and have nots, the popular and the unpopular, and slowly began drawing the first segments of the line that would eventually divide black from white and tan to brown.

Within those categories, we even went as far as to draw more lines to distinguish between smart versus not, attractive versus not, athletic versus not and many others.

As young adults, we then transitioned into making longer, thicker lines that were even more rigid and fixed.  Socioeconomic status became even more of a concern, as we attempted to recognize our own and then transcend the lines we inherited from our parents, as we tried to rewrite what was already there.

In order to do so, we then drew lines between those people that we felt would favor the preferred outcome versus the rest that wouldn’t.  We drew lines between white and blue collars, the successful versus the unsuccessful, and that which we wanted to be, versus that which we didn’t.

Today, we’re still constantly drawing lines for ourselves.  As the world has gotten bigger, we’ve had to organize its people into more and more complex categories to allow for the vast diversity.  We now have drawn lines between rich versus poor, republican versus democrat, citizen versus immigrant, conservative versus liberal, educated versus uneducated, capitalist versus communist, pragmatic versus idealistic, first versus third world and many, many more.

Why Do We Draw Lines In The First Place?

There’s a reason, however, that we draw these stiff lines; oftentimes, it isn’t for the sake of pigeonholing others, but rather, in the name of finding our own position relative to them.

As humans, we need to know where we stand in order to derive our perspectives, our sense of understanding and our self-esteem, and the only way we can do that is by figuring out where others are located on the spectrum.  So we label.  We judge.  We categorize.  We draw our lines. And in the end, it’s our lines that show us who we are.

While such lines are useful in terms of organizing our life and the world around us–essentially helping us find our identity–the danger to this tendency is that if we’re not careful, we can draw too many lines that end up forming a cube that does more harm than help, because we become boxed in.  And naturally, when we’re boxed into a confined space, there’s only so much room for us to grow.

Lines limit our experience.  Once we make them, we’re hesitant to step over them.  It confuses us, and causes us anxiety.

Am I on this side of the line or the other?

And that’s why I dislike them so.  By drawing lines, we’re forcing ourselves to choose one side or the other.  But nothing in this world is that black and white.

With that in mind, I’d like to share some ways that we can start to erase some of the lines that could be boxing us in, and keeping us from connecting on a meaningful level with the people we share this planet with.  Or, at the very least, start turning them into dotted lines.  While it may seem counterintuitive, the only way we can fully develop ourselves, is by allying with others.  So check out some of these suggestions for ways that we can all reach out and touch one another’s lives in unexpected–yet powerful (and kick ass!)–ways:

1.  Welcome a refugee to the United States. Volunteer to teach English, help them write resumes and prepare for job interviews, contact potential employers on their behalf, assist in cultural learning workshops, or accompany them to appointments.  A good place to start is the International Rescue Committee. They also have a global program to volunteer in other countries.

2.  After work, invite one of the cleaning staff to happy hour. Listen to their stories.  And truly listen.

3. Donate a row of vegetables or fruit from your garden to the hungry with Plant a Row.

4.  Hold the door. Just as you would hold the door for the lady with the coiffed hair, cardigan sweater and pearls, do the same for the woman with the downcast eyes and threadbare clothing.

5.  Purchase a hot dog and go find a homeless person to give it to. Sit down on the ground with them and strike up a conversation.  Make them feel human.  Better yet, visit a homeless shelter. (This is one of my favorites.)

6.  Change your line of questioning. Instead of asking people what they do for a living when you meet, ask them what their hopes and aspirations are for this year.

7.  Get your writer on. Sign up for an international pen pal at www.interpals.net.

8.  Advocate. Become a court appointed advocate for abused and neglected children through an organization like CASA.

9.  Explore. Take a walk into your city’s ethnic neighborhoods, find a small, family-owned authentic restaurant, and have lunch.  Be sure to try something you’ve never had before.  Ask the wait staff how it’s prepared, and what their favorite dish is.  Learn something.

10. Mail things to strangers. Send a terminally ill child some happy mail with Hugs and Hope.

11.  Get toothy. Start smiling at people you pass on the street.  Even if they don’t smile back, they noticed.

12.  Do a cyber sponsorship of a family living in one of America’s poorest neighborhoods. Pay $25 a month for a pre-made package to be sent to them, and correspond with the family online with Family to Family. www.family-to-family.org.

13.  Be kind to telemarketers. Can you put yourself in their shoes for a moment and feel what they must be feeling?

14.  Give someone the greatest gift of all. Teach an adult to read with ProLiteracy.

15.  Bring ice teas out to the people landscaping your yard. Invite them into your home for a slice of angel food cake.  Make them feel welcome.  They’re people, too, and they’re working hard.

16. Bridge gaps. Connect with other generations through an organization like the Twilight Wish Foundation, which grants senior citizens wishes.

17.  Don’t neglect what’s right infront of you. Pick a small town in your own area, stay in a bed and breakfast and learn everything you can about the history of the place and its people.

18.  Travel whenever you can, but don’t be a tourist. Don’t stay in a resort; look for homestays or boutique hotels run by locals.  Pick a small town if you can.  And then, get to know it.   Intimately.  This is called Slow Travel. Start here: www.slowtrav.com.

If you notice, most of these suggestions simply involve being more human.  Even though the lines we’ve drawn served to categorize people, the one thing that still remains is just that:  We’re all people.   We’re all human beings.

And no matter what lines are drawn, the truth of the matter is that it’s impossible to separate ourselves from that category.  It’s the one and only category that we all fit into, and when we learn to recognize that, all of the other lines that occur thereafter are rendered inconsequential.

Be a human first, and an artist later.  Learn to draw lines only to differentiate between good and bad, and erase the others that only serve to limit your potential.

Because in the end, circles are where it’s at; after all, any child with a blue violet crayon can tell you that.

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