Here in the U.S., we’re all about go-go-go.  It’s a fast paced lifestyle, and if you don’t keep ahead you’ll soon be left behind.  It’s a race to the finish.  It’s the survival of the fittest.  It is time-is-money, and the early bird gets the worm.

Time, in essence, is a something we regard as a finite resource that we feel we can capture, control and manipulate.  Just look at all of the ways we express time in the English language:

We save time.

We find time.

We lose time.

We spend time.

We make time.

We’re out of time.

We kill time.

We crave time.

We try to get there on time.

We may arrive in the nick of time.

We wish to turn back the hands of time.

We think many things are a waste of time.

And it’s rare that we have too much time on our hands.

We can label things ahead of one’s time.

While others are frowned upon as being behind the times.

We bide our time, keep time, & are pressed for time.

Our attitude toward time as a tangible resource is unarguably apparent.  And because of this attitude, we’re constantly engaged in a never ending battle to mold, shape and bend time to our will.  We view it as a limited entity, and therefore have to speed up our lives in order to fit it within time’s confines.

Because of this mind-set, we’ve evolved into a society of do-ers, where action is applauded, and anything less regarded as lazy, unmotivated and weak.

And while there’s undeniably a certain value in that approach–specifically in terms of productivity–it’s worth noting that oftentimes, being constantly “productive” produces a numbing effect, in which we end up on autopilot, mindlessly moving from one obligation to the next to the next and to the next.

The upside to that is, of course, that we obtain many of the things we set out to get.  On the other hand, however, because we’re always on the move, we don’t often get the chance to reflect on whether or not the things we’re setting out to get are actually the things we want.  As a result, we end up in a fruitless civil war with ourselves, constantly productive, yet never producing.

Time & Passions

On a related note, I receive a fair amount of emails that ask “How do I find my passion?  I can’t follow my passion until I know what it is.“  That’s very true, and it’s my contention that it’s impossible to figure it all out until we allow ourselves the time to do so.  Between rushing to get this done, clamoring to get that done & feeling stressed in between, it’s difficult to be able to sit back, do a little reflecting and get involved in activities that might help to carve some of those passions out.

What’s needed is time to do so.  This may be obvious, but I notice a tendency to think that one’s passions are just going to develop over night, or somehow just be born and arrive at your doorstep, à la stork.

But passions don’t just appear; you’ve got to allow yourself the time to get out there and find them.  They don’t passively occur or spontaneously combust–you’ve got to open your arms wide, step out into the sunlight, and take the world by storm.

You’ve got to hunt them down.

Life is a safari, and even though you might have to stop hunting along the way to take care of necessary items such as sleeping, going to the bathroom, or eating bugs for protein, those things can’t derail you from your true quest.  After all, you want a wildebeest!  And wildebeests aren’t just going to come wandering up to your tent saying, “Oh hey.  Here I am.  What’s for dinner?”

Although that’d be really, really awesome.

But no.  You’ve got to take the time to saddle up and work your lasso.
And it’s the same with your passions.

Don’t let the whirlwind of daily routine distract from the real goal at hand.  If you want to find your passion, you’ve got to make it a priority.  Literally, you’ve got to build time into your schedule to explore yourself and explore the world that surrounds you.  Do some reading.  Find resources that can help you figure it out.

If you haven’t had the time to try something you’ve been wanting to try, how will you ever know that you actually love it?  If I hadn’t taken the 6 months to travel for the first time when I was 19, how would I ever have known how much I would love it?  I wouldn’t have.  I might have had a vague idea of how cool it could be, but it wouldn’t have developed into an aching (aching!) passion.

If you want to find your passion, time is of the essence.  In this case, time is not a luxury; time is mandatory. And if we’re going to attempt to bend time to our will, as we do in this culture, then we might as well be bending it favorably.

You are in control of your time–no one else.  Start using it to your advantage.  Hell, my friend Everett insists on working only 2 hours a day.  You can check out what he does here, but he absolutely controls what he does with his time–no one else.

So when you do make time to get out there on your safari?  Two words: Hakuna Matata, baby!

Okay, so that was three.

But oh well.  Because my time here? Is now up.

-

Remember our good friend the Dream Zapper (DZ)?

I first wrote about Dream Zappers in a guest post over at Corbett Barr’s Free Pursuits. (By the way, in case you’re interested, he’s just released an incredibly comprehensive course on affiliate marketing for bloggers – I know many of you are getting into blogging right now, so I thought I’d mention it.)

We’ve all encountered Dream Zappers before; they’re the ones jumping up and down to squish, squash and stomp all over your ideas & aspirations, usually accompanied by the likes of, “You’re being unrealistic,” or my personal favorite, “You’ll have to join the real world sometime.”

Big, giant menacing GRRR face.

In the post, I discussed the importance of defending your dreams, despite traditional advice that advocates not sinking to that person’s level, not taking it personally, and recognizing that it’s not you, it’s them.

And while I stand by that assertion, the truth of the matter is that it truly is them.  But even if we consciously know that, sometimes it still gets under our skin, nagging at our self-esteem and poking little holes in our confidence, because we just can’t figure out why. Why are DZ’s zapping in the first place?  What’s the deal, already?  What ever happened to live and let live, mon?  Can we get a little Bob Marley up in here?

It’s All Your Fault

I’ll tell you what happened.

What happened…was you.

To a Dream Zapper, you are actually the offending party.  Even though you aren’t outright attacking a DZ’s dreams, you’re indirectly doing so simply by existing.  The fact that you’re sitting there all inspired and hopeful with your zest for life and your bucketfuls of ambitions is nauseating to them, because it forces them to question their own realities.  And in being forced to question themselves, they may not like the conclusions that are drawn.

And that’s really freaking uncomfortable. (Tissue, anyone?)

It’s so uncomfortable, as a matter of fact, that our brains have actually adapted and developed a mechanism designed specifically to reduce any unpleasant psychological discomfort that’s experienced.  Know what that’s called?

The fine human art of rationalization.

Rationalization occurs as a necessary mental function to avoid cognitive dissonance–two conflicting ideas in our minds–in order to protect our ego and maintain our self-image.  (Dammit, Freud.)  In order to avoid anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, embarrassment or stress, people will bend over backwards and resort to irrationality and–you guessed it–ridicule.  You, with your ideas, are threatening the entire fabric of their consciousness.  And they no like-ey that.  You’re stressing them out, mon!

So in order to reduce that stress, they resort to rationalizing and justifying their own behavior, declaring it smarter, wiser, more realistic than yours.  Conflicting ideas cause people to self justify–not necessarily rationally–in order to regain psychological balance.

In other words, they’re Dream Zapping you in order to maintain their own sanity.

Rationalizations In Action

Normally, we tend to assume that a person’s actions (minimizing your ideas) are guided by their opinions (you’re wrong and are doomed to fail), but in actuality, a person’s actions are guided more by his/her rationalizations that take place in order to preserve his/her integrity, self-image and world view.

Want proof?

A study of people who were processing conflicting information about a favorite politician showed that the reasoning areas of the brain actually shut down.  Their brains simply stopped processing information that was inconsistent with the views they held about the politician.

Wild, eh?

To give an everyday example that you can likely relate to, if we believe ourselves to be fundamentally good people, the few times when we are hurtful to another person will cause dissonance, or tension, in our minds because good people don’t hurt other people.

In order to relieve the stress that this mental conflict causes, we rationalize the hurtful behavior by deciding that the other person deserved it or somehow forced us into that hurtful behavior.  And we’ve all been guilty of this little mental game, haven’t we?

Relative to what I discuss here at TMFproject, if someone has gone through their entire life up to this point believing that the standard American work-life model is the ideal–go to school, go to college, get a job, get a mate, get a house with a yard, get kids, etc.–and then someone comes along and says, “Pshhh!  That’s ludicrous! I’m going to do things this other way,“ that person’s mind will do everything it can to prove you wrong.

In the name of self-image and personal integrity, they won’t want to believe that.  So instead, they rationalize their own decisions and beliefs in any way they can to avoid that mental discomfort–even if that includes putting you down for yours.

We avoid mental anguish at all costs; our convictions about who we are and what we believe carry us through life, and we constantly interpret things that happen to us through the filter of those core beliefs.

When they are violated–for example, by you and your ideas–it causes anxiety that must. be. reduced.

Conclusion

See what I mean?  Told you it was them.  What’s one to do?  Frankly, there’s not a whole lot that can be done, except understand that the reason you’re getting zapped is independent of the validity of your decisions; the issue is not whether your decisions are sound, but rather how those decisions impact others’ egos.  And, wouldn’t it be a little silly to make decisions based on someone elses’ psyche?  You’ve got to look out for your own.

It also never hurts to gain validation and reassert your sanity by reading about others who have taken the unconventional path, and have been successful at doing so.

My personal recommendation would be to check out the work of:

Karol Gajda – A Polish born vegan athiest whose goal is to help 100 people receive ridiculously extraordinary freedom in life via online business & travel.  He’s cute, too.

Nomadic Matt – Another good-looking 20-something who has been traveling since 2005, and makes over $3,000 a month travel blogging.  He certainly didn’t let the Dream Zappers make any headway.

Adam Baker - A young family man with a wife & child who set off to sell all of their crap, find financial freedom and be able to go, live, work, play, WHATEVER…wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

Everett Bogue – The guy who decided he didn’t want a job anymore, so he quit…and then made one himself, blogging about the minimalist lifestyle.  He often talks about how great it feels to drop your TV off of your roof.  I like this guy.

So the next time a Dream Zapper shows up in your ‘hood, shaking their fists and showing their fangs, take heart in knowing that by letting them grumble, you’re saving them from a potential mental breakdown, in which case…

…that makes you a hero.

-

It’s about taking your wants, your desires, your dreams, your visions, yourself and, ultimately, your life, seriously.  It’s not about just following your own little path; it’s about forging the damn thing.  It’s about reaching up and pulling down your industrial-strength, metal shovel, pulling up those gingham-print sleeves, giving your knuckles a good crack, doing a mini happy dance for good measure, and then digging in and digging in hard.  Because your path isn’t going to magically make itself.  It needs you to create it.

And while it’s certainly worth the sweat on your brow, oftentimes going ahead and shunning the traditional in favor of the unconventional isn’t as easy as it sounds; there, there, my pretty, just stop doing things out of pure obligation, listen to your own inner voice, start acting on it and–voila!–your life will forever be the spitting image of giant, fluffy rainbows and dancing pink ponies.

Nice try.

A Blessing & A Curse

Those of you who have had some epiphany moments–who have located your shovel and are in the process of pulling on your gloves–you guys are gearing up in spite of the manual labor because you understand something that the majority of the world doesn’t, and it boils down to one, simple word:  Possibilities.

You recognize the endless possibilities that life holds, and you’ve begun to crave them.  You know there’s a way to tap into this secret realm of previously un-navigated experiences, unfelt emotions, undiscovered wisdom, unsuspected adventures, unseen destinations and unknown opportunity, and you’re on your way to figuring out just how to lasso it all up as you stroll down your newly trodden path.

This is both a great blessing, and and a great curse.

A blessing because your soul is allowed to manifest itself and dabble, wade and eventually plunge into all sorts of self-actualization goodness, helping to bridge the gap between present and potential.  And once you’re swimming in those waters, baby, life inevitably just gets so much better.  Especially because this is a nude beach.

Yet despite all of your fun-filled skinny dipping, there’s one important caveat.  The flip side.  The curse.  And it’s that once awareness sits in, there’s simply no going back. There’s no ignoring.  There’s no blind eye.  There’s no avoiding.  There’s no side-stepping.  There’s no forgetting.  There’s no evading. There is no escape–not even for the Jason Bourne at heart.

Because you know better.  Because you’ve tasted better.  And now, the generic brand just isn’t good enough–only the authentic will do.

Naivety is no longer an option.  You’re forced to grab the shovel.

Better Put Your Seat Belt On

Things that might have previously satisfied you won’t anymore.  Things you may have regarded as achievements will become givens.  Goals you had for yourself will become outdated and replaced with bigger, brighter, shinier ones.  And expectations you had of yourself in the past will no longer be up to par.  Mediocrity, as it turns out, becomes obsolete.

You’re demanding life at full throttle, and–let me tell you–it’s gonna be one hell of a ride.

And, isn’t it great?  The speed, the exhilaration, the ground you can cover and the things you can accomplish?  You’re operating at maximum velocity, spurred on by an invisible sense of determination and new found glory.  And truth be told, it is great.

But what many fail to realize is that operating at full throttle requires a lot of energy.  It requires a lot of fuel.  And it requires a hell of a lot of work.  Once upon a time, I had a reader email me this:

“It seems that many are content to let the hard working individuals in our country continue to work their butts off so the ‘dreamers’ can live out their every fantasy, and never be inconvenienced with a job that bores them, overworks them, or takes up just way too much of their time.  Soon, these hard working individuals are going to run out; our society needs more ‘reality’ instead of ‘idealogy’.”

A Shoot & A Miss

He couldn’t have been more mistaken–who’s actually working harder here?  To imply that taking this path is the easy way out couldn’t be farther from the truth.  This path-in-progress requires far more work than following any ordinary life outline.  It requires work, alright.  Hard work.  It requires dedication.  It requires conviction.  It requires fire.  It requires bravery.  It requires every ounce of your being.

The standard life outline, on the other hand, simply requires you to follow it.  Do this, and you will get X amount of money.  Get X amount of money, and you can get Y number of things.

Things.

That’s the outline, and it’s based on the assumption that your greatest aspiration is to acquire as many things as you possibly can.  What I want to know is, where’s the bullet point in the outline that emphasizes the intangibles?  The un-navigated experiences, unfelt emotions, undiscovered wisdom, unsuspected adventures, unseen destinations and unknown opportunity?  Where do they fit in the outline?

I’ll tell you where they fit:  Right down there at the bottom, in the fine print.

Is that where they belong?

What it comes down to is a shift in values.  We’re no longer satisfied with a few zeros on a paycheck–that is not living.  That’s called making a living.  It’s the intangibles that possess the ability to make it about more than that.

And dammit, don’t you deserve more than that?

So get out your best shovel, people.  It’s time to go to work.

P.S.  For some other heavy-duty tools, here’s a few resources that helped me when I was first starting on my unconventional path. Be careful–you’ll probably never be the same. *cue ominous music*

Decisions are hard, mostly because they require us to rely on past experiences, emotions and our little pool of knowledge in order to successfully predict which option will yield the best results.  And we all know that using our emotions in the name of attempting to be rational is so not a good idea–especially when his name is Marco.

Most of the time when making decisions, we weigh our options against one another, and play out the possibilities in our minds:

If I let him kiss me on the dance floor after we’ve just bachata-ed all night long, will I seem like the intoxicated, classless chick that I normally scrunch my nose at?

If I don’t let him kiss me on the dance floor after we’ve just bachata-ed all night long, will I forever and ever (and ever) wish I would have been more intoxicated so I didn’t have to question it in the first place and could be running off to Spain right now to visit his parents, who would greet us at the door with a bottle of wine in hand and open arms, who I would adore and finally understand where Marco gets his devilishly witty sense of humor, and they would adore me and lend us their summer villa to live in indefinitely, and I would accept–graciously, of course, and with hesitation so I didn’t seem like a money-grubbing American bimbo–and then once there, Marco would give me a shoulder rub and whisper sweet nothings in my ear before sweeping me off the couch and….you get the point.  (But just for good measure, allow me to also mention that there would most definitely be lots of chocolate involved, and Marco would also be cooking every night.  Rib-eye, sauteed asparagus and garlic roasted potatoes, anyone?  Hold the sour cream, thanks.)

The Usual Decision Making Process

It comes down to decisions.  In reality, your life is nothing more than the outcome of a series of decisions. And with that kind of pressure, you better believe that making sound decisions should probably be high up there in the list of priorities.

In considering this, you might be thinking, “Obviously I try and make the best decisions that I can.”  And that’s certainly not being questioned.  For a whole host of reasons, it’s in our best interest to try and improve the quality of our lives through the decisions that we make.  And we do that naturally, I think.  But what about the way that we tend to make our decisions?  Is our decision-making process sound?  If the platform is shaky, it’s probably pretty tough to use it to produce a solid outcome.

Most of the time, in making decisions we perform comparisons.  We weigh.  We deliberate.  We mull.  We stew.  This or that?  Here or there?  Him or….him? We draw up fancy pros and cons lists, and tout the benefits and disadvantages of each, analyzing them side by side.

And that’s good and all.  But I think we’re missing a very vital column.

Pros, Cons and Opportunity Cost

I’m going to label the column the “What You Have To Give Up In Order To Get Something You Want Column,” more commonly known as opportunity cost.  You might remember this from economics.  When applied to life, however, the concept is far more relevant.  In other words, it’s kind of like what life gets to keep in return–what you must forfeit when going down one avenue over another.  That’s not to say that the alternative is the opportunity cost; while it is one opportunity cost, and usually the factor that we focus on when comparing, I’m arguing that it shouldn’t be the primary factor.  Instead, using big picture opportunity cost to assess our options might be a stronger method that will allow us to put things into perspective and make decisions that are most appropriate and in line with our goals.

To clarify, let me yank Marco away from the kitchen to continue using as an example.

Earlier, I presented two choices: To kiss, or not to kiss.  And I stated possible outcomes of both, and then compared the imagined outcomes, which is what we tend to do when we make decisions.  Which outcome is more desirable?

However, if I were to use opportunity cost to guide this decision, I wouldn’t be imagining the potential outcomes, but I’d imagine the potential lack of outcomes that could be associated with each.  The opportunity cost.

Let’s say I do kiss him, & I do end up with overtly generous, wine-guzzling Spanish in-laws and all the prime rib I could ever want.  This, by far, seems more appealing than not kissing him and possibly regretting it for forever.  So by all means, I kiss the boy already.  I’ve imagined possible outcomes, compared them, and made a decision based on the comparison I’ve imagined.  (Whether it’s a valid comparison or not is a whole other ball game, but isn’t actually relative since every potential projection we make in our minds is going to be highly subjective.)

Here’s why, even though this seems like the more desirable outcome, it actually isn’t:  The opportunity cost is too high with respect to my values.

In order for Marco & I to run off into the sunset together, blaring Enrique Iglesias and never looking back as we sip fruity cocktails on the balcony of our villa, I’ve got to give up many, many other things.  For example, Italian men are out of the question.  You might as well add Brazilians, Turks, Greeks, Israelis and Patrick Dempsey while we’re at it.  My country-hopping tendencies are squashed–or at least stifled.  I can no longer get away with entirely disregarding the whole darks versus lights sacred rule of laundry, and furthermore, will probably get suckered into doing way more ironing than I would prefer.  I won’t be able to spend as much time engaged in my online projects, including writing, as I need to for myself, and my impulsivity will be muzzled, because now my actions greatly affect another person.  I will lose partial ownership of my time, because the nature of relationships demands that I give a hearty portion of it, and I will essentially be required to get consent when I want to do many things.  I will be under constant pressure to please, and will be endlessly seeking Marco’s approval.  Because in relationships, that’s what we do.

For some people, the benefits of being in the relationship outweigh this–or so I assume, which is why they’re in it.  But relative to my own personal values, the benefits do not outweigh the cost.  And that’s what this is all about–assessing your values and making decisions that reflect those values.  Your life–or the one you aspire to live, anyway–depends on it.

Playful Example, But Big Idea

Obviously this was a bit of a playful example, but the philosophy can be applied to any aspect of our lives.  When making choices, what are the big picture items that you’re essentially going to have to give up in order to pursue an option?  Is it worth it?

Assessing opportunity cost is a forward-thinking process.  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen others who are devastatingly unhappy and uninspired in their relationships, for example, but then cite their reason for still being in it as, “Well, we’ve been together this long and I don’t want that to all be a waste of time.” That’s flawed logic.  Independent of what happens in the future, you can’t get that time back. It’s already gone.  So when making this decision, it’s misleading to base a decision on that.  Rather, think about the time that you’re going to have to forfeit in the future if you stay in the relationship.  Is it worth dedicating to that particular cause?  What things are you giving up in order to be in that relationship?  Is the opportunity cost worth it?

Working 60 hour weeks provides more income.  Is the income worth the time that you could have been playing with your children, catching up with friends, pursuing hobbies or learning new things?  Is it?   It depends on your values.

Time is the primary thing that you’ve got to forfeit in order to pursue something, but it’s not just the value of your time that matters here; it’s what other things you could be doing with that time.  It’s a more dimensional approach to decision making, versus a flat one or the other, which can be deceiving.   It’s never just one or the other–there’s a plethora of other costs involved in everything you do.  And it’s by taking those costs into consideration that we can begin to make decisions that will better support the lifestyles we desire.

All that said, for the record I’d still kiss Marco, because all melodramatic, imaginary projections aside, the one thing that’s real would be the kiss.  And the opportunity cost of kissing him is more likely to simply be not being able to kiss anyone else the rest of the night.  And judging by the way Marco dances, I’m going to guess that the benefit will definitely outweigh the cost.

With that, I say ándale, señor.

What methods do you use for making big decisions?

Death happens.

As I watched as the ambulance carry away the woman who had just suffered a head-on collision, I couldn’t help but reflect on the unpredictability of life.  Imagining my own sudden death, I began to ponder the implications, including what would happen to this website.  How would readers ever know?  Would it seem as if I had just stopped posting?  But perhaps most important that I reflected on: Was I able to convey my message? What things would I have wanted to shout out to the world that perhaps I hadn’t yet?

So today, I’m going to imagine as if this were my last post.  What’s the big picture here?  What do I truly hope that readers take from all of this?

Some of my more recent posts have focused heavily on big, philosophical questions, which I’ve brought up because I feel it’s important to examine unconventional perspectives and subsequently prompt critical thinking.  The reason why I think critical thinking is so important, is because I believe that in doing so, we are essentially giving ourselves choices.  Choices to think in other ways.  Choices to see beyond the horizon.  Choices to take alternative perspectives.  Choices as to what we believe, and the ability to cite why–not simply “just because”–and in doing so, enable us to choose who we want to be.

And, isn’t the ability to be who we want to be–not just some version of who everyone else is–worth taking the time to consider?

Everett Bogue is an excellent example of this–he decided who he wanted to be, and it had nothing to do with his desk job.  So he picked up, and with $3,000 set off across the country, and started his business online.   He’s now teaching people how to do the same thing over at his site.  He thought critically about what he wanted, and then went after it vehemently & unapologetically.  (Check out what he does here.)

That said, at the end of the day there comes a certain point in which it can become counterproductive to engage in too many debates that may or may not ever result in an answer.  That’s not to imply that there isn’t value in the debate itself, but simply that sometimes, there’s more value in getting out there and taking life by the lapel–by fully engaging with the world around us–instead of philosophizing about it from behind a computer screen.  In doing so, we naturally live our way into our own philosophies through experience, which is far more meaningful than anything I could ever say here.

And that’s what this is all about.  LIVING.  In the end, we’re only here for a limited time, and while we all seem to recognize this as a fact, most of us don’t seem to actually consider the implications–likely because it puts pressure on us.  It puts pressure on us to act.  And pressure stresses us out, so we avoid it.  On the other hand, by ignoring the harsh truthfulness of this statement, it’s easier to justify being apathetic & unconcerned, and become reactive instead of proactive, passively accepting mediocre days that eventually turn into a mediocre years that can eventually turn into a mediocre lifetime.  Because we figure that there’s always tomorrow, always next week, always next month, or next year.

But there isn’t always going to be.

And then we will have died, having just gone through the motions and doing everything everyone else wanted us to do, but nothing we wanted to do.  Nothing that truly lights us up inside.  We will have made choices based on majority rules, or because everyone else was doing it.  And despite the urge to do something exceptional, we figure that it must not be realistic, or else, why wouldn’t everyone be doing it? So we settle.  We accept.  We concede.  And sure, we survive.  But is that all we have to hope for?  To just survive?

There’s just too many experiences to be had, too many connections to be made, too many memories to be formed, too many beautiful sights to witness and too many moments that have the potential to truly make us come alive.  Living through experiences is what makes us actually alive; living through established tradition, on the other hand, is what results in just a life.  Live alive, not just a life.

That said, I’m going to lead the list with that.  Here’s to messages that are important to me to communicate, and are the reason that I began this site in the first place:

1.  True living is more than just keeping your heart beating and a roof over your head.  Don’t fool yourself into thinking that is “just how life goes.”  There’s way more possibilities, and, yes, IT IS WORTH GOING AFTER.  Be daring.

2.  Stop blowing yourself off; we get so upset when others blow off our ideas and desires, but we have no problem doing it to ourselves.  Take your ideas, feelings, wants, wishes, yearns & urges seriously–those are your only true guide.  Other people have no idea what’s best for you, so stop seeking their validation.  Do what you need to do for you. Be confident.

3.  Stop doing everything by the book.  It’s time to start drafting your own revised edition.  Rules don’t always exist in the name of the greatest good; more often than not, they exist because someone wants to establish or maintain power.  And that’s just not a good enough reason. Be inquisitive.

4.  Life is a series of choices.  You choose every single direction that your life takes.  Use it to your advantage.  Be deliberate.

5.  There will be people out there who won’t support what you’re doing.  Who cares.  Trust yourself more, trust others less.  That includes significant others.  Be brave.

6.  Figure out what you value, and make the necessary changes to align your life with those values.  If you value time more than money, stop working 60 hour work weeks.  The only way you’ll get more time, is by doing less.  It’s simple math.  Be introspective.

7.  Speaking of money, IT ISN’T AS IMPORTANT AS WE’RE TAUGHT TO THINK IT IS.  Money comes, and money goes, and it provides little value itself until you actually exchange it for something that is valuable to you.  So, ask yourself that question.  What do you value?  That’s where the majority of the money you spend should be going.  Be prudent.

8.  Having good intentions doesn’t yield results.  Get off your rear and make it happen.  Be zealous.

9.  Life isn’t meant to be taken so seriously.  In the scheme of things, if you’re going to be late to work, it doesn’t really matter.  If you don’t get an A, it doesn’t really matter.  If you’re proven wrong about something, it doesn’t really matter.  If your house isn’t as nice as your best friend’s, it doesn’t really matter.  Relax, and enjoy the ride.  Think big picture, not details.  Will this matter in 100 years?  Be panoramic.

10.  The world is not judging you as much as you think they are.  Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to even notice what you’re doing.  Drop the pride and have a little fun.  Be lighthearted.

11.  Perhaps one of the greatest goals we can seek for ourselves is exhilaration.  Are you exhilarated by your life?  Be stimulated.

12.  When making decisions, always ask what’s more important.  Thinking about canceling on an invitation to a friend’s baby shower or birthday party because you have too much work to do?  Don’t. Your friend is more important; work can always be done later.  Nothing is that urgent.  Relationships, however, are your foundation and you’d be lost without other human connections, so value them.  And show it.  Be thoughtful.

13.  You don’t just need to love yourself; you need to respect yourself.  You’ll garner that respect by accomplishing things you’ve set out to do.  Be relentless.

14.  Being content with your life and being proud to call it yours are two different things.  Strive for the latter.  Be courageous.

15.  Last but not least, wine should be drank with meals.  Preferably Argentinian Malbec.  It’s freaking delicious.  Be delighted.

If you’re looking for more advice on how to better implement some of these philosophies, I would recommend getting started with these resources that first inspired me to start living more unconventionally–and not just thinking about it.

Fortunately, I am not dead, and this is not my last post.  Unfortunately, I’m out of Malbec.  With that, I’m off to go put #8 into practice.

Have you got any to add to the list?  Let’s pool our collective knowledge and share some wisdom–humorous additions welcome.

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