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Alert Your Accountant: This Post Is About To Make You More Money.

this entry has 11 Comments/ in How to Get More Clients + Rock Your Small Biz / by Ash

 

I used to think there were only two types of people: Those who would get busy in a church parking lot, and those who wouldn’t.

Forget politics–this is the stuff that really divides.

And of course, if we’re following the script, the next sentence you’re expecting to come charging out of my fingers should go something along the lines of: “But now, I’ve had this profound, striking, life-affirming realization that has altered the way I think about EVERYTHING, now and forevermore, and really there are two other types of people!”

Well guess what. I’m not gonna say that. That would be a dumb sentence.

 

What I really want to say is that–surprise!–we’re all about the fucking same.

In other words, your mailman cries when he watches Ghost, too. (Do people still have mailmen?)

Mothers secretly fear they’ll someday be locked away in a nursing home and forgotten.

Secretaries secretly fear others think this was the best they could do in life. (For the record, it’s not.)

Writers secretly feel that every page they’ve written is shit.

Life coaches secretly hate the word “life coach.”

New girl at work secretly spends two hours fretting over what to wear each day so you’ll like her.

The woman working in the same department secretly fears new girl will steal all of the attention with her ideas. (And maybe her boobs.)

And that guy you like? He secretly feels like you might laugh in his face while gleeking and simultaneously uploading a photo of you doing so with the caption: “In your dreams, idiot!” Which is why he’s not asking you to to see Tarantula Man Three because he might be ruined forever.

Which is precisely why I’m issuing a challenge to your marketing efforts.

A challenge to stop thinking about how you + your company are different from your competitors…and instead, consider how you’re exactly the same as your customers.

By doing so, you’ll not only become more relatable–and therefore more trustworthy, fresh, human and someone people naturally want to give their money to–you’ll differentiate yourself from your competitors by default.

Because while your competitors are busy keeping up with the Jones’, you’ll be busy keeping up with their customers.

Better alert your accountant.

 

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← What To Do When You Hate Your Life: An Interview I Gave: Featuring My Man Voice (previous entry)
(next entry) How to Cold Call Prospects Without Sounding Like a Tool →
  • http://twitter.com/pcsfy PC Support For You

    This is too funny! I have been trying to communicate this to my copywriter and couldn’t put my finger on it. Yet here you are whipping up a quick article that is exactly what I was trying to say. I am thrilled you do that thing you do.

    PS Good girls do it in the church parking lot and bad girls will do it in the rectory. I must say however that it has be quite sometime since I have been in church let alone the rectory…

  • Lana

    Ha,Ha,Ha! I’m not a life coach but totally can relate. How do you know?

  • http://www.drmichellemazur.com/ Michelle_Mazur

    Damn Ash! This really flipped my thinking on it’s ass. I’ve been too worried that I am outside of the mold of a standard presentations coach, but who cares if I focus on how I am like my clients. Thinking changed! Writing to commence!

    • TMFproject

      Always focus on the clients. Fuck everybody else. :) *curtsies politely*

  • http://www.livecollarfree.com/ James Schipper

    Dammit! I’m working on my turkey call already!!

    • TMFproject

      YES! Ha.

  • http://twitter.com/heatherlyone Heather Thorkelson

    yes, yes, and yes

    • TMFproject

      :)

  • http://coffeeandtequila.com/ Justin McKean

    SHUT UP I just was trying to talk a girl into doing it in a church parking lot last week!

    I was all like, “hey, baby, this would be really sexy” and she was all “it’s daytime” and I was all “I KNOW” and she was all “don’t you think that cop will see us” and I was all “if you’re going to have an arrest record, this is the one you want.”

    She was unpersuaded.

    I dig it. I tend to spend a lot of time obsessing with differentiation when I just need to grow a pair and send the damn introductory email already.

    • TMFproject

      Grow a pair already, McKean. And stop being such a perv to nice young ladies who would never do it in a church parking lot, let alone have a business called The Middle Finger Project. ;)

  • CoagulateTweak10

    &!http://goo.gl/Oo4MO

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