ASH AMBIRGE

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Alert Your Accountant: This Post Is About To Make You More Money.

In: Marketing, Money Talk,

I used to think there were only two types of people: Those who would get busy in a church parking lot, and those who wouldn't.

Forget politics–this is the stuff that really divides.

And of course, if we're following the script, the next sentence you're expecting to come charging out of my fingers should go something along the lines of: “But now, I've had this profound, striking, life-affirming realization that has altered the way I think about EVERYTHING, now and forevermore, and really there are two other types of people!”

Well guess what. I'm not gonna say that. That would be a dumb sentence.

What I really want to say is that—surprise!—we're all about the fucking same.

In other words, your mailman cries when he watches Ghost, too. (Do people still have mailmen?)

Mothers secretly fear they'll someday be locked away in a nursing home and forgotten.

Secretaries secretly fear others think this was the best they could do in life. (For the record, it's not.)

Writers secretly feel that every page they've written is shit.

Life coaches secretly hate the word “life coach.”

New girl at work secretly spends two hours fretting over what to wear each day so you'll like her.

The woman working in the same department secretly fears new girl will steal all of the attention with her ideas. (And maybe her boobs.)

And that guy you like? He secretly feels like you might laugh in his face while gleeking and simultaneously uploading a photo of you doing so with the caption: “In your dreams, idiot!” Which is why he's not asking you to to see Tarantula Man Three because he might be ruined forever.

Which is precisely why I'm issuing a challenge to your marketing efforts.

A challenge to stop thinking about how you + your company are different from your competitors…and instead, consider how you're exactly the same as your customers.

By doing so, you'll not only become more relatable–and therefore more trustworthy, fresh, human and someone people naturally want to give their money to–you'll differentiate yourself from your competitors by default.

Because while your competitors are busy keeping up with the Jones', you'll be busy keeping up with their customers.

Better alert your accountant.

Enter your email address and I'll rummage around in my bag of tricks for JUST the thing.

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You know who’s funny? People who try to do everything. Talk about a dysfunctional relationship with time. Contrary to popular opinion, time is not always there for you when you need it. Yet, then you are all cute, telling yourself you’ll just “fit it in”—whatever “it” might be that day. Why does everyone think they’ll fit it in? […]

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What does it mean to be Unf*ckwithable? View the 10 commandments >>

 

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27 thoughts on "Alert Your Accountant: This Post Is About To Make You More Money."

  1. Elise says:

    Yes, I have a mailman, his name is Robert and he looks at me like I have two heads when I say “good morning Robert”. Thanks for the reminder that we’re all alike … you’re my new best friend. I got your back and your “quickies” are long lasting. xo

  2. Elise says:

    Yes, I have a mailman, his name is Robert and he looks at me like I have two heads when I say “good morning Robert”. Thanks for the reminder that we’re all alike … you’re my new best friend. I got your back and your “quickies” are long lasting. xo

  3. 295061 says:

    Diggin’ this post. And I gave my husband a…present…in a cemetary once. True story.

  4. 295061 says:

    Diggin’ this post. And I gave my husband a…present…in a cemetary once. True story.