Hey, everyone!   Happy glorious Tuesday!

This week on Fear, Exposed, I’m wild to present this story by Jenna Tros, who went from being unhappy & laid off in NYC, to accidentally finding the job of her dreams, traveling the world, pounding on drums, making quite a delightful scene & thrilling audiences everywhere.  They’re called The Rhythm Hunters, and, seriously, does she not look just like a vibrant, glowing, free-spirited Shakira up there on that stage? I just love it. And I know you’ll love her.  *Cue emphatic applause*

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It was 12:15am, January 1st 2010, and I’d just finished performing Ladoai at the Woodford Folk Festival in Queensland, Australia, counting down to midnight on the main stage in front of 10,000 people. At that very moment, life couldn’t get any better.

Life wasn’t always this great, though.

Life, before, well…I wouldn’t call it mundane, but it was pretty normal. I graduated from college with a degree in Environmental Studies, and had been lucky enough to get a job that I enjoyed, canvassing with an environmental organization that I’d worked with in summers before.

I was bringing home enough money to move out of my parents’ house, and had mustered enough savings that when I got offered an internship at a climate consulting organization, I left the other job immediately and jumped in.

I loved that job.

We worked with business and government to enact climate legislation that was beneficial to the environment without stifling business interests … I thought I’d spend the rest of my life there. It was the perfect job to utilize the skills I had from college.

And every day I got up feeling like I was doing something important.

However, the economy tanked, and one day, my boss brought me into an inside room and, well…he downsized me. In fact, they needed me out by the next day, as they were consolidating other branches and needed my desk space. I felt discarded, and used, and it seemed like the end of the world (I’d actually never been fired before)–I was completely devastated.

I tried not to make a scene as I packed up my stuff, and then slipped out as the tears started falling… I thought I’d found my perfect job, but they didn’t want me. ME! What was wrong with me that meant that it was ok to let me go? Didn’t they know I was committed, that I was a go-getter, that I had gone to college to prepare JUST FOR THIS?

The thought didn’t even register that it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t bad at the job–I was just living in NYC at a time when 20,000 bankers lost their jobs as well.  I felt hopeless, and insecure, and incredibly unhappy. Suddenly my savings seemed to be disappearing much more quickly than I had anticipated, and moving back in with my parents upstate started looming in my future. I was completely panicking, totally afraid of what was to come.

What if I never found a good job again? What if I settled into mediocrity, and wound up in a cubicle pushing buttons just because it put food on the table?

I was lucky, I’ll admit: I had a cousin who’s lived in Japan for the last 15 years, and he needed help at his ski lodge for the winter season. I figured I’d have a better chance of getting another job in NYC if I gave the economy 3 months to recover, so I begged him to let me be his personal assistant for the ski season, even though I didn’t speak a word of Japanese. He agreed. It was, admittedly, nepotism at it’s best.

Still, I was scared to leave NY. Everyone kept on telling me what a great opportunity going to Japan would be, but I didn’t want to leave the comfort of familiarity. I had found a part time job that had the possibility of turning into a full time job if I played my cards right; it was a fair trade food company that I felt good about working for.

Was I crazy, leaving it now, for three months of work? I knew that if I stayed I could work my way into becoming a full time employee. But was it really what I wanted to do with my life?

I decided to go.

It was only three months, and I decided to trust in fate; if the job was still available when I got back, clearly it was meant for me, and if it wasn’t, then I wasn’t meant to have it.

On December 3rd, 2008, I left New York, not knowing that my life would change forever.

Working in Niseko didn’t change me much (although it fried my brain learning how to drive on the other side of the road). We were very isolated on the mountain, and the rest of the staff mostly spoke only Japanese.

I was pretty content to be a loner and sit up in my room, working on designing new marketing materials or whatnot, and talking to my friends back home. However, I did force myself to get out occasionally, and would go to an expat bar to play pool. I wasn’t great at pool, but I could hold my own long enough to strike up conversation, and so I started to talk with the massive amounts of Australians who’d come to work for the ski season.

They would all make fun of my accent, and generally drink me under the table, but they were also genuinely nice, open, and upfront people, and I really enjoyed spending time with them.

I’d kind of always wanted to go to Australia.

I wasn’t sure why, I just knew in the back of my mind that it was a place I needed to explore. I began to talk about going there for a month before going home, until one of the Australians convinced me differently: “There’s no way you can see Australia in a month. You need at least 6… Apply for a visa, they give them out like candy, and do it properly!”

My poor parents. I’m an only child; they’d resigned themselves to not seeing me for 3 months, but it was hard for them, and they definitely missed me. There was silence on the end of the telephone line when I told them I’d gotten a work and holiday visa to Australia, and wouldn’t be home for at least another six. They were pretty unhappy about it, but I was massively excited.

Australia! Crocodile Dundee! Hot men with great accents! That’s not a knife mate, this is a knife!

Looking back on it, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I got to Australia with $3000 allocated for the trip. For the first 2 months, I wwoofed and couchsurfed my way from Cairns down to Sydney, figuring I’d find temporary work when I ran out of money, just to keep me going. However, I began to realize I was enjoying my time in Australia even more than I thought I would, because I kept on meeting really laid back, awesome people, and the more people I met, the more I realized how frantic and frenetic the pace of life in NY really was.

Australians got at least 3 weeks of paid vacation time, and free healthcare, and a minimum wage of $14.  I kept on thinking, “This feels right”, and more and more I began to trust my instincts, and trust in the kindness of strangers, and kept on getting rewarded for it in ways that I never would have in NY.

I’d talk to a stranger on a bus and they’d end up letting me stay at their house when my other plans fell through, or I’d ask someone for directions and they’d end up buying me lunch. I thought that I would start looking for a city I could settle down in and look for a job that I’d enjoy, and so I traveled with that in mind, and things kept on working out for me, and the more I trusted people, the more I was rewarded.

This culminated in a series of unlikely events that ended up leading to my being a professional percussionist.

I was wwoofing at an ashram for a month, meditating and doing yoga (I didn’t particularly like yoga, but the guy I started traveling with loved it, so I was putting up with it for his sake), and these drummers came in and did a yoga drumming workshop, about finding the meditation in a rhythm.

I hadn’t known it was going on, and I hadn’t paid for it, but when I got an hour off from working and poked my head in, one of the teachers told me I could join in and play if I wanted to. They looked so happy doing it that I couldn’t resist, and so I sat down, hit a djembe, and… something just clicked.

It felt so natural, so right, and I just felt like I needed to learn more.

They mentioned at the end of the session that they took couchsurfers at their drumming studio, and I begged them to let me stay there for a week or two. Once I got there, I went to a festival and saw them perform professionally as The Rhythm Hunters, and that was the beginning of the end for me.

I HAD to learn, and I had to stay for a lot longer than I thought I was going to, because I knew that I needed to be a Rhythm Hunter.

I was seized with a passion that I’d never felt before… sure, I’d done things that I enjoyed immensely–I’d done a lot of painting, some fashion design, rock climbing, hiking, even traveling. I had hobbies, but taiko drumming (funny that I found Japanese drumming in Australia) became an obsession.

I wanted to be a Rhythm Hunter more than anything, and somehow, incredibly, they let me. Six months later, after pouring my heart and soul into practice, they let me perform with them for the first time ever in the exact place where their performance had first stolen my heart.

It was only one song, Ladoai, but it was at the Woodford Folk Festival–the biggest festival they’d ever gotten in to–and I was ridiculously grateful for the opportunity and so humbled that they’d allow me to perform with them at something that meant so much to them.

How many people see a band perform, and go up to them afterwards and say, “Hey, I really want to do this, even though I’ve never done it before–you gotta train me”… and had them actually agree to it?

I’ve never heard of it happening with other professional groups, and all I can think is that it had to be fate, and that I’d fallen in love with the one group who would encourage me to practice and join them.

I’ve performed with The Rhythm Hunters ever since, and now have a part in every song.

I have had people come up to me after shows and tell me that they’ve never seen anything like us before, that we made their girlfriend cry, that we were the highlight of their festival experience.

It is such a pleasure to know our passion for what we do makes other people happy, and it’s an unforgettable experience to look out from a stage over thousands of people and see them enjoy the result of your hard work.

It’s been almost 2 years since I took that first leap and left America.

I’ll be returning for the first time in February for a two-month trip to show my boyfriend my roots, and say hi to all the people who expected to see me again 23 months ago. People from New York see photos of me on Facebook and tell me I look younger now than I did when I lived there, and I think it’s true: I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and I feel lighter in my heart, so I expect I’ve aged backwards a little.

My boyfriend and I will return to Australia, and I plan on moving here permanently, and eventually getting my citizenship.  It feels much more like home now than home ever did. I had a dream recently of an intentionally designed sustainable community, and when I woke up, I knew that after I’m done being a Rhythm Hunter, that’s my next goal.

We’ll do it, my partner and I, of that I have no doubt, because I’ve found that the universe has a way of giving you what you want if you’re passionate enough about it.

I thought I knew what I was going to do with my life when I was 22. I thought I had all the answers, and it was just a matter of sitting back and living it. Then life, in its infinite wisdom, wrecked that idea wholeheartedly, and I realized I had no idea what I’d been doing, or what I should do.

However, in trusting that everything happens for a reason, and saying “yes” to every choice I had, I’ve found more happiness than I know what to do with. Life can’t be perfect, but mine’s pretty damn close. I’m not materially rich, and I probably won’t be for a long time (if ever) but I’m completely fine with that. I’ve got a roof over my head, a computer, camera, car, clothes; I don’t need more stuff.

I’m happy, and I’m happy because of what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with, and when people ask me my life story, it’s interesting and exciting because…

I chose to jump in, to roll with things, and to trust that everything will work out for the best.

P.S.—Look out for The Rhythm Hunters touring the states in 2012 – I’m totally going to line up some venues while I’m over there next year, and, if I may say so myself, we’re totally worth watching! And if you like it enough and are dedicated enough… well, there’s always a chance we can fit an extra instrument on stage  :)

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Last week, my post on Truth resonated well with you, helping to confirm that—NO–you don’t have to live the way we’ve been taught to live, and—YES–there is another way. More is possible. And it’s yours for the taking.

So today, we’re doing a 180—possibly more fun if we were in a raft going down the rapids of the Brazilian Amazon together, but if you think about it, that’s sort of exactly what we’re doing, in an only-Ashley-would-say-that metaphorical sense.

Minus the string bikinis, of course–though you’re welcome to strap on one if it helps you get in the mood.

Just stay put in your apartment.

Word to the wise.

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MYTH:

You think to yourself:  “You are no Chris Guillebeau; you should just go find a job.”

–Fear expressed from an actual reader email

If you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking you aren’t interesting enough, not smart enough, not savvy enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough, you’re, first, wrong, and second, ignorant of the way the world works.

This is no cheesy, self-help, have-faith-in-the-power-of-you! speech—as much as I love those—this is about cold, hard facts.

While it is absolutely true that you will not appeal to everyone (it’s impossible), you DO have tremendous appeal—just to the RIGHT PEOPLE. This is key.

While Chris Guillebeau is great, he is only great because there was a group of like-minded people who supported him.  There are many others in the world–the wrong people–who might not think so.  Those people don’t matter–only your right people.

How do you find your right people?

Here’s where the internet comes in.

The internet is crucial in helping us do work that’s meaningful to us—now we have the ability to stand in a crowd, exactly as we are, hold a sign up telling the world what we stand for, and have a like-minded audience flock to us—our RIGHT PEOPLE.

In the past, you had no sign—only big corporations did–and you were obligated to have to push through the crowd, toppling people over to get to the front, just so you could stand in line, waiting to be recognized by one of those corporations. In order to do so, you couldn’t be exactly as you are—you had to be exactly as they wanted you to be.

A clone. A cog. A dispensible resource.

Why do you think they call it “human resources?”

It’s a fundamental shift in power, my friends, and it’s time to start using it to your advantage.

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MYTH:

“I’ve already invested so much of my time & money into this career; even though I’m miserable, I don’t want to waste it all. I should just stick it out and be grateful for what I have.”

–Thought-process expressed from actual reader email

Being grateful & gracious is nice.

Especially when your grandmother gives you birthday money.

BUT.

There’s a fine line between being “grateful” and “settling”–and it’s essential not to confuse the two.

The distinction is quite literally a matter of life or death; those who choose (note the deliberate use of the word “choose”) to exist on this earth as nothing more than a pawn in someone else’s game are merely biding their time. You don’t want to bide your time; you want to DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

Settling has NO BUSINESS in your heart, in your mind & in your LIFE.

Think of it this way: So you’ve dedicated the first 20 years of your professional life doing something you hate. If you continue on that path, an investment won’t be recouped—an investment will be lost. That investment will be your life.

You cannot get that time back, no matter what you’ve done in the past; better to cut your losses and make sure you don’t make the same mistake for the next twenty years.

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MYTH:

“I work for a nice company. I do what they ask. They pay me a fair wage. That’s just life—you do work in exchange for money. I can’t complain.”

–Perspective expressed from an actual reader email

Yes, you can complain, and you should.

I cannot stress how antiquated this approach to the work-life equation is.

You don’t do work in exchange for money. You do work in exchange for a SMALL PERCENTAGE of the money that your role profits the company.

If it weren’t profiting the company, your role wouldn’t exist. And the only way it can profit the company, is by creating a gap in the value you provide, and what you’re paid. The difference that’s left over is theirs to keep. And then you go home with just enough to pay your bills and you wait, like a dog waiting to be pet by its owner, for your next bone—your next small percentage of money that is your paycheck.

This does not have to be “just life.”

Are you really willing to sell your life for a mere $100 a day or so?

That’s essentially what you’re doing.

On top of meager earnings (in comparison to the value you provide), there’s also the opportunity cost—what you must give up in order to work at your job. In order to do one thing, you must forgo something else—unless you can be in more than one place at one time, in which case, contact me ASAP because I want in.

In order to make $100 a day, what must you forgo?

Maybe it’s spending time with your children. Maybe it’s being able to travel. Perhaps it’s having the leisure to paint, cook or read when you need a break.

Or maybe what you forgo isn’t tangible—maybe you forgo your energy, your vibrancy, and your zest for life.

Now THERE’S an opportunity cost to be considered.

On the other hand, if you can learn how to build a business around your life, by leveraging your passions and the power of the internet, the opportunity cost of doing so will be in forging the 8-10 hours a day you spend wishing you were doing something else. And that’s a good thing.

AND you get to keep all of the profits.

Sexy, right?

Don’t worry—there will be more myths busted to come.  I’m a big fan of lists lately.

With that, I’ll simply insert a not-so-subtle reminder (cue trumpets!  Raise the flags!  Shake what yo’ mamma gave ya!)  that my new book, You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts:  Combining Passion + Self + Business Through Digital Entrepreneurship is now for sale. 

Note: This is not a hard copy book.  It’s an eBook.  Why?  Because it’s superior.  I’ll tell you why in the book.

You can read more here, or click here to purchase ($40) & get all giddy inside.

One life to live, baby.

Better make it a good run.

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Happy Tuesday, guys!  I’ll keep today’s Fear, Exposed intro short – this wonderful, fabulous, (gorgeous!), India-loving extraordinaire is Claudia.  Nomad at heart (and in practice!), & brand-new resident of Nashville, Tennessee. Chocolate cake lover, yoga practicioner, and avid student of the school of life.  Recently launched the blog Creative Relationship with her partner, Matt, in order to share what they’ve learned & help others who are interested in living and loving consciously.

Living & loving consciously – that has sex appeal, does it not?

Sometimes the fear is in change and in letting go.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who embraces change. Someone who bravely deals with the rapid blind turns that life can throw at you. I’ve had the good fortune of getting to know change intimately. Change has been at times a friendly companion and at others a frightening specter, but it’s always been there as far back as I can remember.

My first eleven years were spent moving around the world. We moved camp every year or two; getting to know a new place as “the new girl” was a way of life. My father worked on government road projects, so when the road was finished, our trip down the next road began.

My family settled into a new country, new school, new friends, even new languages more often than anyone else I knew. All these moves helped me to face many fears. I was a shy child, so the frequent moves taught me to confront my shyness and to feel comfortable with altering circumstances.

By my mid twenties, I had lived in six different countries and in a multitude of cities. Not only was I at ease with change, but by now I believed it was a necessity in my life. I needed it like I needed water.

Traveling was indispensable, movement was my breath of fresh air, and challenging my fears and pushing past them was my way of feeling really alive.

The biggest fear I had to contend with was my fear of living a mediocre life, of the white picket fence and of a life of complacency–that fear was terrifying, and I did everything in my power to run from everything that smelled of conformity or following rules. Many times, people asked me, “What are you trying to prove, and to whom?” Looking back, I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I could beat my fears, that I could live in the way that I wanted to live, no matter what.

At the age of 26 I had just arrived in the south of Spain with my then-partner. We had been backpacking all of South America for a year and needed to start making some cash. We had a lot of enthusiasm and pages and pages of business ideas and ‘inventions’ that we had thought up over the course of our travels. Lifestyle was the main focus.

We wanted to continue to be able to travel and to lead the life of adventure with which we were both now familiar.

I loved traveling, I loved beautiful things, I loved India. The Far East was by far my favorite region of the world to wander around in (and still is), and India in particular holds a very very special place in my heart. In fact, I’ve always called it “the home of my heart,” a place that my heart fell in love with from the moment I first landed there. For anyone that has ever traveled there, you will probably smile knowingly when I say that India is a place that you either love or hate. There are no “maybe’s” in India. It is a full-on experience! A country of color and contradiction, of immense wealth and poverty, of deep traditions and many Gods.

We started a company importing everything Indian: architectural pieces, jewelry, textiles, furniture…everything that was beautiful and everything that was attractive to my eye. I backpacked the backroads of my beloved India, (and other eastern countries) for the next 10 years looking for things for our business.

My love affair with India grew and flowered. At the same time, our business grew and flowered.

It became bigger than we ever though it would (or ever planned on for that matter). It in fact became the proverbial “golden cage” in my life. The business was prosperous and well known, but it also required an immense amount of time and attention in order to maintain. As much as I loved it, in many ways I was also tied down by it.  But at that time, I didn’t care.  We were doing so well, and I was doing something I loved.

In addition, my business was a great teacher for me.

It taught me to keep facing the new fears that came up.

It taught me that you don’t have to have a degree or schooling in something in order to succeed; all you need is passion and the willingness to work hard and go the extra mile.

Belief in yourself and belief in your path.

It taught me that you can dream something and make it come true. It taught me to do business as a woman traveling alone in countries where women just don’t do that–business OR traveling alone. It helped me hone my instincts and feel confident in my ability to create.

I matured so much through this experience and grew into a successful business woman. I gave as much love and care to my business as I would have to any child I might have had. I gave it my full energy, anxious nights and grinding days.

Until one day I realized I had become enslaved.

My profession had become my identity, my ‘free’ life was just an illusion, because I was bound hand and foot to the commitment of my work. My life was dedicated to my business and I was forgetting to live. I was forgetting my fear of conformity because I was giving in to it. I was losing myself.

In the meantime my life had brought one of its twists and turns…my partner and I had broken up and we decided that only one of us would continue to run the business.

I decided to let go.

The year of 2008 was my “dark night of the soul.” I struggled that entire year with the decision of letting go. Mostly the advice I got from people was that I should stay and run the business.
I heard:

“You would be stupid to throw away so many years of your life”

“Leave and do WHAT?”

“Why would you leave a perfectly good thing in order to follow exactly WHAT?”

“You would be out of your mind to give up the business!”

In fact, most of the opinions I got were of the negative kind, telling me to stay put, to keep doing what I was doing. Yet somehow, deep inside of me, I felt that I needed to let go, to do something new, to free myself of my beautiful golden cage, to find another expression of me.

Letting go was the hardest decision I’ve had to take in my life so far. I was completely terrified. Afraid of what would come next, afraid of making the biggest mistake of my life, afraid that everyone else was right and I was giving something up that I shouldn’t be giving up. Afraid of being no one without my business, afraid of how I would survive and what I would do next.

Yes, it took me an entire year to finally decide! I thought I was quick to make decisions, but this certainly took the cake for procrastinating. I had so much fear that I gave myself an ulcer and dove into a depression that lasted for months.

The change I thought I was so comfortable with, turned into a monster that I could not face. Letting go had become an insurmountable fear.

Change was once my friend, then it was my teacher, now it was my biggest fear.

Finally I made the leap, I let go of everything. That really meant everything: my business, my ex-partner, the country I had been living in for the past ten years, my friends, my stuff…and then I got on a plane with my dog and left it all behind.

On my way to who knows where.

It has been two years since my big leap into the unknown. Again change and fear have become my biggest teachers. Showing me my self-worth is not tied to my job, showing me I can survive the hardest of times, showing me I do have the courage to follow my heart and my instincts no matter what, no matter where, no matter what anyone says.

I’ve found myself again, found my freedom again, and found that the decision I made was the right decision. I want my life to be a collection of many precious moments and experiences, many expressions and many careers. I don’t want to be tied down to something just because I “should be,” just because it seems like the “smart thing to do” to other people. I want my life to be an interesting book of life, something I can look back on in my old age and feel proud of and smile to myself about.

I count myself as infinitely fortunate, and am so grateful for the experiences that life has brought about. Change and fear have taught me about myself and this world and how to navigate it in the most aware, awake, and loving manner.

I like what Amy Bowman said in a previous post here on the series Fear Exposed, it is funnily enough, something that my sister kept telling me when I was dealing with my own excruciatingly painful decision to let go.

“When a door gets closed, a window will open.”

…a window did open, and I was happily surprised at what was on the other side. If, like me, you are feeling afraid of letting go of something–of closing a door for fear of what is or isn’t on the other side–I too, urge you to to crawl through that window… and find magic there.

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Ash Note:

1)  This post contains so much wisdom, it’s ridiculous. I so fell in love with Claudia upon first email–no question as to why.

2)  I decided to up and come to Chile this past weekend. So, there’s that.  I thought it was summer here, but I was cruelly deceived–it’s still cold.  And my fingers are frozen.  And I didn’t bring any sweatshirts.  And all I really, really, really want is a sweatshirt.  Though the cheap red wine has been doing a good job of keeping me warm.  I think I’ll be here for a while – if you’re in the neighborhood, please let me know.  As I said to those on my email list, I promise not to force you to eat any strange type of sausages.  Though, the chopped onion, lima bean & lemon salad I ate last night was pretty damn good.

3)  If you have been hibernating/kidnapped/hiding in a cave and didn’t hear about my latest project, You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts:  Combining Passion + Self + Business Through Digital Entrepreneurship, click here to see how you can wake up randomly in Chile, too, whenever you want (and make a living while you’re at it).

Truth:

Most people will walk this earth for decades, feeling guilty for not pursuing the great adventures inside of them, but will never do anything about it.

Truth:

Most people are overwhelmed by fear, and will make some of the worst choices of their lives because of it.  Greatness evolves from trust–in yourself, in your ideas, and in your ability to know, deep down, what’s best for YOU.  We must not betray that trust, because the moment we do, we betray our own potential.

Truth:

Most people will do exactly as they are told to do, won’t ever question the rules, and will believe that by doing so, they’ll get farther in life.  While this may have once been the case, in a time when assembly lines were hip, the exact opposite is true now. In the age of technology, success awaits only those who are willing to break the rules, stand out from the crowd, and be daringly, unflinchingly, unapologetically DIFFERENT.

Truth:

Most people believe that there is more safety & security in a 9-5 than there is in being an entrepreneur.  Though, more and more it becomes glaringly obvious that relying on only one sole source of income is a big (and irrational) risk. Furthermore, by building your work around yourself & creating new business opportunities, rather than building yourself around your work & having to adapt to already available business opportunities, your measures of success go far beyond money. And this is always, always, ALWAYS a good thing.

Truth:

Most people leave the quality of their lives up to luck & happenstance, and believe, somewhere deep down, that eventually they’ll be rescued by someone or something.  As much as I love a pristine white horse as much as the next guy, it’s crucial to remember that you’ve got to be the hero in your own story.  The damsel-in-distress role is the coward’s way of living life.

Truth:

Most people want more from life–more fulfillment, more excitement, more pleasure, more peace, more self-assurance, more satisfaction, more happiness, and way more juicy stories to tell–but they’ll never get it because they let the lack of immediate know-how become an (unnecessary) obstacle.

Truth:

Most people will never actually live–they’ll just think they did.

Take Away:

If you want to do meaningful, rich, brilliant things in life–if you demand more from life than an average, humdrum existence–you cannot be most people.

There IS another way.

More is possible.

You’ve simply got to want it bad enough–bad enough that the pain of NOT moving forward is greater than the pain of taking action.  Then you have no choice but to rally every single cell of your body, mind, heart & soul to go forth and fight for it–honorably, and with conviction.  And then make it yours.

You Don’t Need a Job

Many of you are reading this, likely because you’re dissatisfied with your life.  (Been there.)

Maybe you long to escape the cubicle nation.  Maybe you want to travel the world.  Maybe you want to live authentically & do meaningful work that you’re passionate about.  Maybe you want to do all of the above.  Or maybe you just want to ride alpacas & drink homemade beer all day.

The point is that you AREN’T.  (Yet.)

….

But you CAN be.  (Soon.)

Most of the time, the reason you aren’t falls into one of the categories described above–common traps that most people fall into, preventing them from taking control of their own lives, and let their lives control them.

It’s a deadly combination mostly comprised of: lack of know-how + lack of confidence.

And that’s exactly why I started The Middle Finger Project, back in 2009:  To provide you with the know-how, and to provide you with the confidence, so that you can rock the hell out of your life + biz, and love. every. single. second. of. it.

The Middle Finger Project was created with everything I’ve got in order to help you break free of your own self-imposed limitations, to help you gather the courage necessary to take big leaps, to help you start believing in the power of meaningful, passion-driven work, to help break down false assumptions regarding work & life, and, ultimately, to help you build a life that you’re damn proud to call your own.

Over the past few years, I’ve worked hard to present the right frame of mind, revving you up & helping you to see life from a new, more self-loving perspective–one that will pave the mental path that you need to push past societal expectations & think in more unconventional terms in order to be in a position to do remarkable things.

I’ve pored over my keyboard, communicating my deepest & most sincere belief that LIFE IS MEANT TO BE PLEASURABLE–not merely tolerable. I’ve put painstaking effort into helping you realize the value of every single precious moment, and the true fleeting nature of time.

I’ve tenderly put forth this website, my thoughts & the contributions of others to serve as a pillar of support for your journey–and to stand guard against your most penetrating fears, your deepest doubts and your most deep-seated apprehensions.

And by golly, we done good, guys.

But one thing that I haven’t done–yet–is provide you with a more tangible, actionable means of accomplishing your goals.

Most of you are on board with the whole I-realize-I-don’t-have-to-suffer-doing-meaningless-crap-I-don’t-enjoy-just-for-a-paycheck’s-sake, but now you need to know exactly what the next step is.

When you’re first starting out on any new journey–whether it’s entrepreneurial or not–you just want someone to tell you what the **** to do.

We all do.

So, I’m going to do just that.

Allow me to introduce:

The world’s sassiest, most fearless, most upfront, raw, honest, no holds barred eBook á la magnificent…

…that is so righteously good, so devilishly unconventional, so steamingly revelational, and so immeasurably powerful…

…in terms of the changes that YOU + THIS KNOWLEDGE can make in the world…and in your life.

You Don’t Need A Job, You Need Guts:
Combining Passion + Self  + Business
Through Digital Entrepreneurship

This femme fatale of a book will:

1. Nudge you forward (though not very gently, I’m afraid), from your current life, to a life you’ll be wild for, doing passionate + meaningful work (independent of location, if you wish) that lets you embrace every part of you, and go forth into the world, and embrace every part of it.

2. Help you clearly define + envision exactly what your ideal life looks like (you can’t hit a target that doesn’t exist, sugar).

3. Guide you step-by-step (no vague, glossing over ANYTHING, folks) through what it takes to make that life a reality, by leveraging the number one most undervalued, underappreciated, and under-used tool:  YOU.  Once we get all the glory that is you squared away, we’ll look at how you + your passion + demand + business + laptop can equal blissful digital entrepreneurship + money + a kingdom like no other ever on the planet.

4. Most importantly, You Don’t Need a Job will encourage you to think in ways that you never have, about what things are possible when it comes to life & work, and will take you by the hand and show you precisely how to leverage your own innate strengths to create the business & lifestyle that’s right for you.

In other words, it’s life on your terms.
(And business on your terms.)

It’s a life you feel good about.
(And a business you feel good about.)

It’s a life you want to have.
(And a business you want to have.)

And it’s a life you love.
(And a business you love, too.)

And it will change everything.

Why This Sexy Little Number is Worth Your Time:

You’re intelligent.

You’re ambitious.

And you want more from life.

Period.

Why This Sexy Little Number is Worth My Time:

I get to do red hot, riveting work that I love

Knowledge + sharing is the blueprint for all great movements

The quality of our lives depends on it

You Dig?

$40

Click here to view the Table of Contents

Click here to watch a fun video interview of me discussing the book.

Want to Help Spread the Word? (Because You Heart the Project & You Want to Make Money, Too)

Sign up to become an affiliate!

Here we are again – another Tuesday, another incredible story of REAL people overcoming their fears, challenges & struggles in order to live life on their own terms.  For some, this may mean doing passionate work that puts some sass into their soul.  For others, it might mean a mobile lifestyle & sexy digital nomad prowess.  For me, it means a combination of the above + anything dark chocolate.  For the Bowmans, it meant freedom, experiences & exploration–and a reincarnation of long-lost dreams.

Amy is a waldorf homeschooling mom and aspiring fiber artist. Riki has left behind his long time corporate office to work at a fine restaurant and work on his photography which can be seen at the Taos artist co-op gallery. They both strive for voluntary simplicity and dream of building a small off grid home one day. They now reside in beautiful Taos, New Mexico. You can see their blog at http://bowmanfamilyontheroad.blogspot.com/.

Dreams Might Get Put On Hold (But They’ll Always Be There)

I remember the first moment of clarity and purpose I had in my life.

I was in my early twenties working a 9-5 medical job. One day, it dawned on me that I didn’t WANT the life I was living–I wanted to live off grid like an old fashioned homesteader.

For the first time, I felt there was a way out; that my life had true purpose. ( I was never very career minded.) Day by day, week by week, I slowly began to plan just exactly how I would make it happen.  I was thrilled.

Then, good old life happened.

Partners changed, children were born, and my dreams collected cobwebs in the dark recesses of my mind.  Nevertheless they were always there.

Fast Forward

Years later, I settled down in Florida.  My now-husband and I always shared similar goals, but neither one us ever knew how to get there. He had a stable career in civil engineering, which paid the bills and provided for our family. We were comfortable.  It was hard to walk away from that lifestyle…so we didn’t.  The problem was, although we were comfortable, we were unhappy.  I found myself regularly poring over blogs with other inspiring families doing revolutionary things, like remodeling school buses and traveling in RVs, and I wanted that–but I just couldn’t see how we could afford it, or fit it into our life.

Then, something devastating happened.

When the economy tanked two years ago, my husband was laid off from his engineering job. As a result, we were laid off from our comfortable lifestyle. This was our only source of income since I’ve always been a stay at home mom to our two children.

We began collecting unemployment–were at an all-time low.  Since we had hit rock bottom, it seemed as if there was nowhere to go but up.  It was then that we realized it was now or never; the time had come to finally do what we had always wanted to do.

We decided to buy an RV.

We paid cash for it like just about everything else. The biggest question I was asked when we announced that we were doing this was, “How can you afford it?” Fortunately, one of the best things we have done in our life is to pay cash for nearly everything, and not buy a house. When you aren’t indebted to car payments and mortgages you truly can just walk away. Our monthly expenses were already so minimal.  The answer seemed clear to me.

Despite the excitement of embarking on such an adventure for unknown parts, the doubts and fears were certainly there. I can’t count the number of occasions I was called a bum, and was told that it was despicable for a young family to do something like this when what we needed to do was get respectable jobs and take care of our family. Some family members ridiculed the used RV, questioning if it would even make it out of the state of Florida. How soon would we run out of money and come crying back home? Nothing like naysayers to boost your confidence. What if they were right?

Was this the sort of lifestyle only reserved for young single folks or could a family with major responsibilities really do it?

As it turns out, we did end up having an issue with the RV; repairs started draining our modest savings before we even left Florida. Then there was the stress of getting rid of everything. The kids could only keep a handful of toys due to space limitations. I made the inside of our Class C cozy–we painted, we hung family pictures, and put our own funky textiles in there. It was warm and home like.

Taking the Leap

We weren’t sure what to expect, but we took a deep breath, and a leap of blind faith, and we set off on our journey, not knowing whether or not we’d make it, but determined to try.

We were both born and raised in Florida. I had hardly ever traveled out of the state, so this was such a pivotal moment for us. I had spent my early twenties being afraid to do anything other than working a respectable job, and although motherhood gave me great courage, it also seemed to stifle my freedom to pursue those things I should have earlier in my life.

With all the courage we could muster, we headed west.  I’ll never forget the change of culture we noticed at our first rustic rv park. We met so many nice, laid back people living in tiny travel trailers. They were just so happy. They didn’t have much by our society’s definition, but they sure had peace of mind. That is what I wanted.

We continued traveling and found this to be true in most places. People take on a much different countenance when they don’t have the stress of jobs and fat bank accounts and debt weighing down on them. We met several families with little money and lots of character. I learned to flow with the universe and trust that we would be provided for, even if we had a breakdown–and, believe me, we had several of them. This was hard, as was everything else that was simply up in the air–not knowing what lied ahead down the road, whether or not my husband would ever find a job, and if we would run out of money before we could figure it all out.  But I just trusted that it would all work out somehow.

Discovering Beauty in the Neglected

We arrived in New Mexico and we were smitten. We were in awe with the desert and the national parks–what a luxury to be able to take our children to these amazing places. We were having a blast but needed to start making some tough choices. Money was running out, and we couldn’t keep joyriding across the country. We had to sit still, at least for awhile.

Then we came to Taos.

I had heard of it before, but never imagined falling in love with it. This was the utopia I had been searching for, the perfect combination of rural and cultural small town feel, absolutely breathtaking mountain landscapes.

To our disappointment, we quickly discovered that there were no engineering jobs–nothing that would fit my husband’s twenty years of engineering experience. I had a choice:  I could either live someplace I didn’t like with no job, or someplace I really liked with no job.

We chose to honor our dreams, and opted for the latter, despite the grim financial outlook.

I did worry at first; I was homeschooling, so work was not an option for me. Again, the burning question kept coming up:  WOULD WE RUN OUT OF MONEY?  We’d come so far; how would we make it all work?

The Answer

Our problem was quickly solved once we realized the one thing that would ultimately be crucial to our success:  All that time, we were simply defining work in the wrong way.  All that time we were limiting ourselves in thinking that a position in engineering was necessary, so that my husband wouldn’t waste the twenty years he had put into advancing his career.  But truthfully, the time he spent could never be recouped regardless, so he could either spend the next twenty years doing something he was miserable doing, or he could move forward into something that paid less, but that he actually enjoyed.

So, my husband took a job waiting tables at an upscale restaurant.

Within a couple of months time he was promoted to a managerial type position. It is worlds away from the corporate rat race, but we are so blessed by all of the changes. We went from living in a toxic city environment paying high rent, to living in large, quiet, open, beautiful spaces surrounded by the type of alternative housing we one day hope to build.

One Life to Live

I never, ever regret having made the leap. It only scares me to imagine where we would be in terms of happiness had we not taken the chance.

I am now a firm believer that happiness and wealth are not defined by a college degree, how much money you make, or how respected you are by your peers. Some of the happiest people I have met are living in the most modest ways.  I have also realized that the bigger-is-better mentality is a hoax; prior to our journey, I wouldn’t have considered anything less than a 3 bedroom house before. Now we are living in a one bedroom loft, and we’ve discovered that we rather like it.  This is probably one of the only countries where parents are guilted into believing that we must have all these separate spaces from our children.

I don’t know what lies in the future anymore than I did before in the mainstream world. My husband is now moving forward with his art, and is hanging his photography in a gallery.  I am delving more into fiber arts and hoping to sell handspun, hand dyed yarn at some point. I am thrilled to live in a place that supports this kind of creativity, and one day we do hope to build that modest off-the-grid home….just like I dreamed of in my twenties.

The way I see it now is that we are that much closer than we were before, and that is all I can ask for in terms of happiness. All of the money, respect, and wealth in the world could not fill that void. I only hope that instilling these values in my children will help us to build a new generation with different ideas on why we are here to live our lives on this planet. I leave you with one quote which came from a recent friend….

“When a door gets closed, a window will open.”

I urge you to crawl through that window.  You may be surprised at what you find.

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