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Beating, Stomping and Otherwise Assassinating The Voice In Your Head That Says “You Can’t.”  Violently.

It’s that fear.

It’s that dirty little lurking thought in the back of your head that moseys on up to the forefront every single time you’re finally prepared to step up to the plate and take a chance in life.

You’re not smart enough.

You don’t know what you’re doing.

People will see right through you.

This is never going to work.

Who do you think you are?

You’re a foolish ox.

Yes, that’s right, I said it: OX.

OX!!!!

Stop being so impractical.

Your! Idea!  Is!  Stupid!

And those pants you’re wearing?

What were you thinking?

You should really be on a diet.

OX.

How can you be successful in anything else if you can’t even lose 10 pounds?

I told you this was a bad idea.

You and your ideas.

You’re never going to get anywhere, because while you’re busy wasting all of your time twirling your hair with your head in the clouds….everyone else is working hard, saving money and building families.

And at the end of the day, they’re going to have nice, stable lives, and you’re still going to be stammering around, looking for something that probably doesn’t even exist.

You’re so naive.

You and your damn ideas.

Just do what everyone else is doing for once, and stop questioning everything already.

You try so hard to be special, but really you’re a no one.

So start acting like it.

Ox….

Sound familiar?

We are experts at beating the crap out of ourselves; which, by the way, I’ve always found interesting, since unless we were seriously abusive, most of us would never, ever, ever say those things to a friend.  So why is it okay for ourselves?

That’s exactly it–oftentimes, we aren’t our own friend. We give and we give and we give to everyone who needs us, supporting them throughout their journey, acting like their rock, building up their confidence, bringing them up when they feel down, reassuring them that everything will be okay, and generally helping to validate them and their ideas, and provide as much encouragement as we can.

Because that’s what friends do.

But the moment that WE need support.  The moment that WE need reassurance.  The moment that WE need validation.  The moment that WE need ourselves more than ever…….we pull a snide little disappearing act.

Instead of being supportive, kind and gentle with ourselves, we switch on the other voice–the fear voice.  The one who just called you an Ox and meant it.

The voice doesn’t go away.

It keeps popping up time and time again, putting you down and making you question yourself, causing a whole mess of doubt, fear and neurosis.

And because it’s so damn loud, most of the time you can’t help but listen to it–like the sound of a train passing by when you’re standing right next to the track.

As a result, as the years have gone by, this bastard–this voice–is so loud, and so present, that it begins RUNNING YOUR LIFE.

Which inevitably means that YOU are NOT.

And doesn’t THAT make you a little mad inside?

The Solution to the Unknown

As most of you know, I spent the summer driving around the United States, meeting readers and lots and lots of new faces, and just generally doing A LOT of talking.

We talked about goals, dreams, ideas, plans, businesses, passions and everything in between.

And after all that talking, if there’s one thing I could identify–one principal reason why people aren’t getting out there and reaching these goals, acting on these dreams, and trusting in these passions, it’s because of that damn voice.

Fear of the unknown.

In many cases, their fear voice was saying to them:

You don’t know how to make it happen.

You’re not skilled enough.

You lack so much to be desired.

And, yeah, that voice can be a real burden.  But here’s the thing about those objections:  Anytime you hear yourself second guessing because you don’t have enough information, things seem overwhelming, and you don’t know how….you know what you do?

YOU GO FIND OUT.

And inevitably, you’ll find that as you learn more, you gain more confidence, and that voice gets softer, and softer, until your own finally starts being heard.

And boom.

The universe just got a little brighter, indeed.

It’s About Time We Silence That Voice.  It’s About Time We Start Taking Leaps.  It’s About Time We Start LIVING.

-

If you liked that jazz. . .check out some of these:

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  • Crystal

    Am loving this blog.

  • Shane Rasnak

    It’s funny how most people think that voice is a personal thing, when it’s such a common experience.  In fact, if you’re not constantly dealing with it you’re probably not living to your full potential.  Just being aware of its universality and its reasons for being there go a long way toward learning to manage it. “Linchpin” opened up my eyes about the subject in a lot of ways.

    Thanks for the reminder Ash, great work!

  • benjamin

    lol… what a smile..
    Anyway buddy.. this is benjamin and I’ve stumbled your blog through chris ducker’s blog (virtual business lifestyle) and I’d love to be like you also.

    Glad I came here.

  • http://PowersPercussion.com Mark Powers

    Killer post, Ash! I just had a battle with that little voice this weekend, as I prepared for (and gave) the Best Man speech during my best friend’s wedding.

    I’m excited to hear about your retreat. Kudos to you for putting together such an awesome opportunity!

  • http://twitter.com/duffmcduffee Duff McDuffee

    If your hand ever does anything you don’t like (for example drink too much, or smoke a cigarette), just cut it off with a chainsaw. Worked for me!

    *sent via my text-to-speech program

  • Gwynmichael

    Awesome project! In the spirit of killing the voice I will say that as of this moment I cannot sign on, but that could change any day! Thanks

  • http://castlesintheair.org Nina | Castles in the Air

    Ash, your continual status quo smashing awesomeness with an I’m-not-messing-around approach to living a GREAT life is absolutely and wonderfully contagious! You have my full support and I’ll be posting on my blog re: Liberation Seven (a rather sexy retreat name, indeed!). :D

  • http://lynnfang.com Lynn Fang

    Ash, great post! I needed to read this today. You’re putting together an awesomely ambitious program! Too bad I too, like Mars, don’t have that kind of money to go. Thanks so much for all you do!

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  • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

    Oh boy Ash,

    that’s just an ass-kicking and insane project you brought to life here. Too bad this rebel-revolutionary project
    is so price intensive – right now I’m putting my moola into my business (and paying my living of course), which disqualifies me from your magic retreat.
    But there will be a day in the near future when we shall see each other !

  • http://www.thelifething.com Jonny Gibaud

    Ok, here is an awesomely easy way to combat that sneaky little fear fella.

    Get yourself an elastic band, the thicker the better and make sure it is your favourite colour. Right, got it? Good. Place said elastic band around your wrist. Ok?

    Now here’s the tricky bit. Every time that fear start sneaking up on you snap the elastic band hard. It hurts like hell, trust me I know but it works. What it does is start to rewire your subconscious so it associates fear with the snap of the elastic band.

    Within a few days, as well as a very red wrist you will find you are having less and less fearful thoughts.

    Yes I know, simplest solutions are always the best. Occults Razor or something.

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