How to Deal When the World Collapses Right On Your Face

“But…but…but…buttttttttt…..

…nothing’s going my way and everything is wrong and, and, and, and, andddd I might just slather myself with a vat of butter and slide down the Grand Canyon to my death because because because because becauseeee….my life sucks….and and and and AND on top of it all I’m having a bad hair day, some idiot cut me off in traffic, I spilled coffee on the shirt I just had dry cleaned, my boyfriend doesn’t ever want to share his feelings, and I can’t cook a grilled cheese without burning it for the life of me….*gasp*…and and and why why whyyyyy doesn’t anything ever go my wayyyyyy?!?!”

Sounds like some people you know, doesn’t it?

It’s easy to let the little things get the best of you. I know that every time I burn a grilled cheese, a small part of me dies inside. Which is every time, actually. But I don’t really die inside; rather I just learned to love charred bread. Mhmmmm! See how easy that was?

Beyond the magical undertaking of perfecting a grilled cheese, we tend to get wrapped up in all of the here-and-now details of daily life. We become hypersensitive to events as they occur by the hour, letting them affect our mood, our perception and our outlook on things. And sometimes, it does feel like everything is happening at once, and the whole world is collapsing on your head and–dammit–you never even got to go to France and here the world is, collapsing on your face, silently mocking you with every minor setback. How dare it! Such an inconsiderate bitch, that world.

The good news is that France isn’t all that great, anyway.

But the bad news, my friends, is that when you’re in the process of putting yourself out there in the world, becoming an entrepreneur or fighting the status quo, trying to live life on your own terms, the little things that go wrong multiply 10-fold. The uncertainty of it all is to blame, and when you don’t know exactly what’s going to happen next, and you’re attempting to forge a path where there wasn’t one before, life inevitably becomes a little bit more complicated. And with those complications, comes frustrations. And more than ever you want to lather yourself with butter and heave yourself over the edge of the Grand Canyon. (What? That isn’t how you imagine plunging to your death?)

So, entrepreneurialism can be tricky. The issue is further compacted when you’ve got all of these details to deal with, and on top of it you don’t get any support from anyone, since no one actually believes you can do it and they all think you’re off your rocker. Pshh–practical people.

But, if there’s one thing that’s kept me going through challenging times, it wasn’t cheesy motivational quotes, hugs from Mormons or even excessive amounts of liquid courage.

What do I do when I get down?

(Besides find a cute boy to flirt with.)

I think of the stories.

When I’m 72.489 years old, I want to have stories. I want to have stories, and I want to have stories that are worth telling. I want to be able to think back on my lifetime, and think to myself, “I can’t believe I survived that shit.” Because to me, that means that I actually got out there and I pushed myself. I pushed myself past comfort zones, over lines, and into places that only those who dare to go, can be found. I want to live fully, and with intention, without regret, and with far too many memories for even the biggest of scrapbooks.

I want excitement.

I want to be exhilarated.

I want to feel every range of emotion.

I want to understand others.

I want to see their lands.

I want to share myself with the world.

I want to feel alive.

I want the wind in my hair.

And nothing more but the knowledge that no matter what goes wrong, I know I will have lived.

And at the end of the day.

I will have the stories to prove it.

P.S. I’ve actually never been to France. That was a blatant lie. France, please forgive me for my harsh words. And then give me a baguette and some really expensive wine.

Apparently, these posts were a big hit:

Enter your email below to receive new posts straight to your inbox. And maybe nude photos. But probably not. Perv.

Pingback: Ashley Ambirge Interview - Rejecting the Status Quo | Minimalist 4 Life
http://www.facebook.com/people/Carmen-Bolanos/100000746388950 Carmen Bolanos

All I can say is – right there with ya. Except I wouldn't really want to be found all greasy at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I think I'll put on something stylish and then jump.
http://www.tammycamp.com Tammy Camp

1) You really should go to France, fantastic place, just awesome. And they're so proud of their country. In fact, they probably won't let you in now after you said that . . .
2) Your creative suicide technique would probably make the Darwin Awards shortlist, so you may well have success after your expiration date.
3) I totally cling to the little things when the world (feels like it) is falling in; becasue I rely on the little things to make me genuinly smile. Cue sulky-eyes-to-the-floor mumblings about microfoam when I'm refused full-fat in my latte and other such odd behaviour!
http://www.initiative180.com Steph Lee

Oh this post echoes my thoughts perfectly. Usually when the world collapse on me, I react in the most childish of ways.

I procrastinate and wallow in misery, complaining to everyone who'd listen about how inconsiderate the world is. I sit down on my chair and cry cry cry and don't allow myself to get out of it.

Then I get up (anywhere after 2 hours to 4 days) and move on with life again, somewhat bruised and demotivated.

Thank you for the advice Ash. I'm kinda in the middle of a rough patch (self created stress and frustration unfortunately) and just that sentence: 'I think of the stories' reminded me that all this will too..come to pass. '
And there's always something to look forward to at the end of the tunnel. I hope your shirt is in much better condition, that cute boy reciprocates and the boyfriend gets jealous and finally bares out his soul to you, and you stop by Boulder on your way back to Philly.

Would love to see you again! Keep on blogging O Sassy One

PS : Shawn sends his love. And tells you that Aussie men are a lot worse than the American kind. So stay on our shores
Alejandra

HAHA. i actually didn't like france as much as i thought i would. nevertheless, i definitely fell in love with being culture-shocked when i didn't know the language. but it was funny when you mentioned it at first, haha. i was all “OMG I FELT THE SAME WAY.” whatev :]
http://www.thelifething.com Go Jonny Go

The world collapsing on your face? That sounds like it might smart a bit.

- Jonny
trescatorce

beautifull !
http://castlesintheair.org Nina | Castles in the Air

I love this post, Ash!! LOVE IT. love it. LOVE IT. love it. (Okay, I mayyybee had a little too much caffeine ….. okay, a LOT! plus, if you could see me now, I'm jamming to some dance music, swaying back and forth as I type away, this is quite fun actually!)

Why do we freak out at every little thing that doesn't go right? Let's look at the other side of things. There may very well be no right or wrong (why else are grilled cheese sandwiches made differently everywhere you go? They think they have made it “right” when it's just right to whoever likes it! Whoever doesn't, thinks it's “bad.”).

Life is what it is and yes, some things that happen will inevitably happen no matter how much we plan, prepare, outline, and think about it. We need to learn to let go and move with it!

LifeGlutton

Great post and great reply from Nina.

It's all in how you represent life's little brush fires and fender benders in your own mind. There's almost always an unexpected opportunity – if only a small lesson – in these little “gifts”.

Why not choose to appreciate the collapses for what they are? Not life threatening. Probably educational. Nothing to ruin your day. And look…they're getting smaller in rear view mirror. On to the next thing!

http://youtube.com/BobbySoFamous BobbySoFamous

Great post! you make a great point, I had the most storied night the other night and I'm still excited about it. Need more of those!
http://www.watts-commercial.co.uk/ bridging loans

Die completely revised website is er dus nog niet… Maar die komt eraan. Verder waren ze bezig met de studio data. Ik ben echt heel erg benieuwd.
http://beautyinthedirt.blogspot.com/ Kelly

We traded our car for an RV and are going to be hitting the road for 2 months as a family, all 6 of us. I already have lots of stories (some are really crazy) but you can NEVER have too many. Thank you for this wonderful post to remember that when you wants lots of stories you can't pick and choose so that they are all happy you gotta take what you get.
http://maternal-dementia.com MDTaz

Wanting to have stories is one of the reasons I moved to France. When I was thirty years old, I realized the consequences of NOT quitting my job and moving to Europe were worse than the consequences of actually doing it. After few years of vagabonding but I ended up in France and I do have some good stories to tell. Maybe you should come and visit me and make some of those stories you're dreaming about.

TMFproject

I've actually lived in several places around the world, and can't get enough!!!! More stories, more stories!

http://www.thewaythatyouwander.com Nate

Oh yeah. So good. One thing I like to ask myself when the fear of doing something is telling me to quit is, “Would 80 year old me kick my ass right now?” If the answer is yes, then I proceed with it. Although I haven't taken any huge risks yet, I'm looking forward to it a hell of a lot.

Oh, and I can never cook grilled cheese right either. You're far from alone.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1311190217 Tranq Jones

um, slathering yourself with a vat of butter and sliding down the Grand Canyon only enhances life. swear!
http://www.seanogle.com Sean

Awesome post and I couldnt agree more. When I think of the stories I've created over the last 9 months, I cant help but smile. The thought of what my life would have been like if I hadnt made a conscious effort to living an interesting life makes me cringe…
Jamie Varon

First, I'm impressed by the usage of the word “entrepreneurialism.”

Second, France is amazing.

Third, this post > France.

http://joelrunyon.com/two3 Joel Runyon | [BIT]

France is pretty freaking amazing. Not gonna lie. Sorry ash

TMFproject

Did ya read the PS!?!? Hahaha!

http://www.briannevillano.com/ BrianneVillano

Love it!! I want to feel exhilaration and passion and excitement and wonder and awe! Just reading your post gave me oomph to get off my ass.

I am systematically removing each thread of the spider web of mediocrity I've woven for most of my life. It's difficult but I know there's a spark in my heart and a flame under my ass and I need to catch on fire!!
http://www.livecollarfree.com/ James Schipper

I speak as someone who has both lived the normal, scared way of most people, and as someone who has stepped out of that zone of normalcy a bit when I say, “Yeah, what she said.”
Robnights

Spot on Ashley maaate!! You are a bloody legend. Keep up the revelry! Much Love xx
http://fungeezer.com Steve

I agree! I want stories to tell! Oh yeah, I have 'em.

I want to feel the world as it moves by! Oh yeah, I did that.

I want to experience different countries and people! Hmmm, did that too.

I want to fight the establishment and enjoy the fight, even if I get the shit kicked out of me. Yeah, got the scars to prove it.

Keep livin' Ash. You will get all you want and more. I don't know that we, as humans, are ever satisfied. I think we all go to our grave wanting to do one more thing.
http://askexperience.com Brett

Yes! Yes! Yes!

My head was nodding so vigorously at the last section of your post that I thought I was going to give myself some serious whiplash.

I, too, live for the stories, and I can't wait 'til I can actually feasibly break out of the shell that is my teenage life (damn you, high school! I'm already more than smart enough to go to college now!). I'll be carving out my own stories and legends, no matter where they may take place.

Sometimes my own grandiose visions of the future make me laugh at myself. But, on the other hand, I really, really, really, want to truly live – have the amazing life that transcends cultures, comfort zones, and geography altogether. It's above what most people think is the 'good life' – becoming wealthy, working a stable job, whatever else is cool with the status quo (though I wouldn't reject getting one of those “stable” jobs if it was something I really loved).

It's all in my hands now, and that's what makes it so frightening and exciting. And you can only be afraid or excited when you're alive.
http://www.jungleoflife.com/ Lance

Ashley,
I love your attitude on life! Having stories to tell…way better than having a full bank account and a void in your soul…
NickLaborde

I'll never learn to love burnt grilled cheese sandwiches.

Yes, challenges make for the best stories. How long can you listen to someone telling you how everything was just perfect and awesome every step of the way? Well. throwing up directly into your mouth is usually a great indicator.

“I want to feel every range of emotion” Any one that is happy or sad alllll the time, well, they put them in nice white jackets and call them mentally ill.
srinirao

When I see you update my tweet stream with a new post I almost always immediately have to stop what I'm doing and go check it out. I guess I won't be asking you to make a grilled cheese. I used to let so much get the best of me when I was younger. Some days I'd get a parking ticket, an overdraft fee, and get yelled at my by the girl I was dating in the span of 3 hrs. Then I'd be smoking a cigarette thinking this would solve the problem. As time has gone and I've evolved a little bit I've realized that most of it is never as bad as you've made it out to be, and by the next day none of it really even matters.

As far as being off your rocker, I'm right there with you, leaving jobs in two weeks, scheduling interviews with other bloggers around surf conditions, telling people I'm unavailable because a well just came in. Life is way too short not to have a ton of good stories, and I think you're going to have plenty. Soon I'll be saying “you know that girl Ash Ambirge who wrote the bestseller the middlefinger project. Well I knew here when she was nobody. I even attempted to teach her how to surf.”
Pingback: Tweets that mention How to Deal When the World Collapses Right On Your Face | the middle finger project -- Topsy.com
Pingback: Tweets that mention How to Deal When the World Collapses Right On Your Face | the middle finger project -- Topsy.com