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Just The Tip: Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers.

In: Confidence,

You ever do that thing where you’re about to start that business, write that book, ask for that advance, release that product, pitch that service, or maybe just tell your boyfriend you want to try anal…and then you hesitate? Flinch? Get nervous? Worried? Scared that the response is going to be something like, “WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR MIND? HOW DARE YOU? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

(For the record, after a few Chardonnays I happen to think I’m a god damn pro billiards player.)

(Also for the record, I am very, very much not.)

Why is it we always imagine the worst? The criticisms and the crickets? The pointing and the snickers behind your back?

While I don’t have a ready made solution (cut off your head and never think about it again!), I do have a helpful tip:

Write yourself a long, gushy, heart-laden, hot red love letter. (And include an F-bomb for good measure.)

…from your future client, reader or human who’s going to obsessively love your work. Let’s assume the best. Let’s assume that whatever you’re doing, you’re going to change that person’s life forever. You’re going to be the person they remember for starting it all. You’re going to be THE ONE.

What would they write to you? What would they say? What words would they use?

Every time you start to self-doubt, refer back to the letter. Every time you forget why you’re doing any of this horseshit, refer back to the letter. Anytime you’re pissed off and hate everyone, refer back to the letter.

Not only will it help your head stay on straight, it’ll give you something to aim toward, as well. Seth Godin writes about this technique here, and it’s helped me a lot over the years.

Because we all question ourselves sometimes.

But I can tell you this: The difference between someone who makes it, and someone who doesn’t?

Isn’t the questions they ask.

…It’s the answers they believe.

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32 thoughts on "Just The Tip: Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers."

  1. Marilyn Kimberly says:


    You amazed us! Your design for our project was nothing short of fucking brilliance! It’s like you’re some fucking psychic or practice some ancient voodoo shit or something!! Actually, we know what you did…

    You did exactly what you said you would. You listened to the wants and needs of our business. You materialized our brand into a space that not only reflects who we feel we are as a company, but also what we hope our clients see when they view us. You paid attention to the minutest details. We’ve been using our space for over a month now and we’re still finding new surprises of the subtleties you included in the design of our space.

    We’ve witnessed an infusion/resurgence of energy and passion from our employees about the work that they do – and we attribute it to our new great environment. Our entire team so excited and are taking such ownership and pride of their new surroundings, and that excitement is infiltrating all areas of our business. We’ve had multiple clients remark on the change of enthusiasm. They love the new space as well. By request, I’ve already passed your contact info on to several of our clients who want you to help them with their projects. Attached is a copy of the folks we shared your info with.

    Based on the energy that we’re experiencing we think our projected growth over the next couple years may be even greater and faster than we originally imagined. Thank you so much for helping us not only create an environment that fits us today, but one that will adapt as we grow over that next 5+ years.

    Shit, I just can’t say enough…you and your team…just WOW! You’re rock stars!

  2. Dear Courtneay,

    (Big Name Singer or group) enjoyed working with you in the studio this weekend, the song that you wrote was exactly that next level we were looking for in the industry, I really hope you have time this summer to partner up for the album because you are definitely going to be needed if we want to have a chart topping CD this summer. It was amazing how we told you what we wanted and in a hour you had that song ready. It was fucking amazing, We will definitely sing your praises!.

    whoever assist that singer/group…