Let’s Have a One Night Stand. You + Your Business + Me. My Place. Don’t Be Late.

C’mere.

I think it’s time we got a little more intimate, don’t you?

Whatd’ya say to a one night stand?

Can you handle it?

How about you click on the video below? (If you’re reading this in your email, click here to view the video.)

What was that? Were you really just in your underwear?! One Night Stand?

A One Night Stand session involves you + your biz…and my marketing consultation + fiery copywriting prowess. Lacey panties optional.

I devised the One Night Stand sessions to be an intense, explosive, incandescent 6.5 hour online experience for those of you who need solid direction with your biz…and a little juicy, throw ‘em-against-the-wall seduction with your web copy….to really rev up sales + make your business GET NOTICED in 2012.

The One Night Stand is being offered both during the evening + daytime on varying days of the week. Tuesday + Wednesday sessions are held from 4:30-11pm EST, and Monday +Thursday sessions are held from 1:30pm – 8pm EST. (Note: Times flexible if desired.)

::: During our session, we’ll first bond for a half hour or so as human beings so I can really get a feel for who you are and what you do, before moving into a heavy-duty, no-holds barred consulting sesh around your business + business goals.

::: Then, we’ll wholeheartedly yell 1-2-3 TEAM! before breaking for a heart-pounding 3 hour block of time during which I write (or re-write) the copy for your website or marketing efforts, up to 5 sizzling pages, while you go take a bath. Or sip a chardonnay. Or play Wii tennis in your undies. Whatever it is that you do.

::: Then, once the 3 hour block of copywriting time is up, we’ll reconvene for happy hour (bourbon preferred!) to discuss the copy, solidify the 2012 plan for your business, cheers one another, and possibly chest bump via Skype.

::: Last but not least, then I’ll go back to my love cave for the evening, make any final revisions, send ‘em off to you…and follow up the next day to make sure all of our T’s are crossed, you’ve got your underwear, and you’re still just as jazzed as you were when you signed up. (You will be. Cross my heart and hope to die.)

This couldn’t be any more practical–or fun–and I personally guarantee it’ll be the best one night stand you’ve ever had. Not to mention the most profitable.

The Breakdown

4:30-5pm: Innocent Flirting : Getting to Know You
5pm-6pm: Intimate Discussion : Hour of Biz Consulting
6pm-9pm: Down + Dirty Sweat Sesh : 3 Hour Block of Copywriting on client’s behalf, up to 5 pieces (can include any copy needed…with a standard “page” defined as 300-400 words per page. Also can include other fun things like tagline brainstorming. Or email marketing campaigns. Or a letter to your boss telling him you quit, already.)
9pm-10pm: Nightcap + PillowTalk : Feedback/Further Discussion/Optional Tumbler of Bourbon
10pm-11pm: Long Kiss Goodbye : Final Revisions Made / Copy Sent to Client
Next Day: Oops, You Forgot Your Underwear : Email Check in, Additional Questions + Final Parting of Ways

(Times are in EST, Tues + Thursday evenings. Alternatively, session may be from 1:30pm to 8pm on Monday or Thursday, following same schedule.)

The Cost

$500. Start to finish. An entire One Night Stand. Including 6.5 hours of consulting + copywriting up to 5 pages. (For comparison, typical rates are $250 per page of copy.)

Why Are You Offering It This Way?

Because it’s fun as hell. And it’s the closest I could get to being a prostitute without actually being one. And because I suck at long-term coaching. Also, darts. Unrelated.

So…this is my way to get more involved with you on a level that you’ve requested time and time again, so we can come together and get our hands dirty for a night (or an afternoon, if that’s your style), and rev your business up…so you can throw down.

And I’m serious about the bourbon.

Is This For Me?

This is for you if you’re a solopreneur or small business owner looking to leverage the internet to more effectively (and inexpensively) market yourself…so you can hit your income goals and feel good about how you’re doing it.

Also, you recognize the critical importance of having copy that works – because you can’t be there to hold everyone’s hand, 24 hours a day. And by copy that works, we mean copy that sells. Copy that flirts unapologetically with your prospects’ desires. Copy that shows ‘em who’s boss. Copy that makes them wonder how the fuck they ever lived without you before. Copy that rips ‘em off the bench, shoves their face in the asphalt, and makes ‘em scream, “Uncle, you bitch!”

Copy that reflects your motherfucking inner genius–minus the profanity, of course. Copy that reflects your soul. Your passion. Your expertise. Your wit. Your authority. And the fact that–hey–you’re the one they’ve been looking for all along. Whether they knew it or not.

A One Night Stand session with me will get you crystal clear on the bullshit that you just don’t know how to approach, so we can grab your business by the BLEEP, take control, and make one hell of a year out of 2012.

So put on your best pair of underwear.

It’s time to get down and dirty.

How to Book

Step One: Click on this link to view the calendar and book the date that works best for you–either a Tues or Wednesday from 4:30pm-11pm, or a Monday or Thursday from 1:30pm to 8pm–your choice. If you need a flexible time, I recommend booking the appropriate day and then following up with an email to ash@themiddlefingerproject.org. [Note: To date, I'm pretty booked up throughout the month of February, but still have a couple of days available toward the end of February. Would love to jam with you this month! Also, you can, of course, reserve for March.]

Step Two: Submit payment as prompted.

Step Three: You’re booked! I’ll get the confirmation straight to me, and all bookings go straight into my personal calendar.

Step Four: Do your homework. Once you book, you’ll receive a confirmation message with a link to a pre-session questionnaire–download, fill ‘er out, and ship ‘er on back to me 72 hours before your session…and we’ll be ready to blow. the. roof. off. your. biz.

Ready?

Click here to get booked.

You know what I really wanted to say there, don’t you?

Apparently, these posts were a big hit:

Enter your email below to receive new posts straight to your inbox. And maybe nude photos. But probably not. Perv.

http://www.KarmicKappuccino.com Steve Rice

Totally know what you really wanted to say there.

Since Shane started sharing stories of hookers…I was propositioned by one in a snow storm. She wanted a ride…till she found I had no money. Lol

Anonymous

LOL! I knew someone would pick up on my evil ways.

Speaking of snow storms, there seems to be one here right now in Philly – it’s a winter wonderland out there! Instead of driving, maybe I should proposition strangers for a ride, record it, and then post all of the hilarious outtakes to the blog.

Perhaps I should have a whole other blog full of randomness + bad decisions.

HMMMM…

http://www.KarmicKappuccino.com Steve Rice

You’re the master of wrapping up great content in a bow of your bad decisions and randomness…so you don’t really need a whole ‘nother blog about it…unless you really want to.

Yeah…this lady walked in front of my car in a blinding snow storm (i was on a side road and not going very fast). I thought I was being nice when she asked for a ride a few blocks.

“Sure,” I responded. “Jump in”

“Let me give ya a little somethin’ for it,” She offered.

Thinking she meant cash, I said, “Oh, that’s okay.” (Silly me!)

“I’ll give ya a little somethin’,” She repeated.

“No, that’s alright,” I said, again.

“Well can I at least take it out and see it?”

EEEK, I thought. How do I get out of this one?

Turned out it was easier than I thought. When she realized I didn’t have any money, she suddenly wanted out of the car…Didn’t even need to go the last few blocks home.

And that was the day that my innocence left me!

(But I know there’s a blog post about knowing what your customers want before you try to sell it to them in there somewhere…now if I only had a business blog) LOL

http://twitter.com/DocRona Rona Thau

SO excited. (and a little scared)
bourbon, huh?
dig dig dig this gig
one night stands used to be a lot of fun~this new way has less of the potential hazards
and
hopefully you won’t leave while i’m in the shower (it happened. he came-he went-)
it happens.
gonna make my ‘res’
thanks kiddo
this is gonna be kick ass.

Anonymous

Oh no! He left while you were in the shower? Clearly this means that as an add on to our session, we’ll have to track him down and send hate mail. Except it will be nice hate mail because we are nice people. I think.

I’m thrilled you booked, Rona – you’re one of my most dedicated supporters, and to have the opportunity to support you in a new way is so very exciting.

That day is going to be a really, really good day.

LOOKOUT, WORLD!

Rona

It really happened. The silliest thing is that his license plate was “BAD BOY” ummm I think not…more like “CLUELESS”
I am SO psyched too, Ash. You know I adore you and you’re style. Know you can help me find my own way to roll out! A little spooky this unknown but clearly heading onward.

I replied to ur email. Pls see. I need the q’s. Nothing came in for them.

yAY yAy YAY. Soooooooooooo stoked.
Ready to do whatever it takes & glad u are here to help me 3,2,1 GO!

http://www.shaneketterman.com/ Shane Ketterman

The One Night Stand (a poem for wanna be prostitutes)

When the world got you down
Don’t put on a frown
Lace up those boots and leather and lace
come on, pick up the pace
it’s cash you want and fun you’ll get
cause i’m the craziest mofo you’ve ever met
my chicks are classy and it’s respect they demand
so jump on this train and take a ride
it’s time for a one night stand.
Word.

S-Sizzle.

P.S. I absolutely love this offer Ash and the only time I ever encountered a real prostitute was in San Diego…I was in my car eating a Twinkie. It was late. She came up to the window. I had no clue who or what she was. I was young. I thought she wanted some spare change. I said…”all i have is this twinkie m’am. She left.

Anonymous

HAHA did that really happen, Shane? I’m picturing this all play out….

When I lived in Barcelona my apartment was actually right down the street from prostitute row – the place they featured in Vicky Christina Barcelona, for anyone that saw it, when they go to take photos with Christina + Penelope Cruz. THAT was an interesting walk.