The world will not invite you to the feast. You must burst in, demand a seat, and take it. (John Carlton)
Welcome to the TMFproject copywriting workshop, where we make learning how to sell through the written word more fun than your last math class.
It’s way more fun than your last math class. And much more practical, too. (Read: The things you learn here will make you thousands of dollars. And then you can buy me a Ferrari.)
(If you’re thinking–oh, great, another fucking e-course on the internet, I hear you so hard. Even the word e-course annoys me, and all the loopy loo fluffy bullshit that we all see so much. But this is a lot less that, and a lot more here’s-exactly-what-you-need-to-do straight talk from the trenches, for anyone who wants to cut through the noise, and boost their sales with their writing. Period.)
- Are anyone selling anything
- Want your words to make people sit up and lust after you
- Regularly stomp around in an angry fit of annoyance that you aren’t getting as many sales + clients as you should (and you stub your toe on a daily basis because of it)
Then You Should:
- Slam the cheapest bottle of wine you can find.
- Tell everyone to screw off, and make this–and the success of your business–your priority
Because We Cover A Lot of Elephantly Important Things Like:
What to do when your voice sounds–sigh with me–manufactured
Why clients and customers really hire you—and what this means for your writing
The number one element to take your copy from salesy, stiff and boring to lively and compelling
The top 7 things that will add style + flair to your writing—so you stop boring your prospects, readers and customers to death, and start getting them engaged.
The single, most important difference between good writing and brilliant writing
The trick to making your sentences memorable. And you memorable, too
Why you need to be sleeping with every single one of your clients
The fatal mistake most business owners make with their copy, and how the hell to avoid it (Hint: There might be turkeys involved. Scratch that. There definitely is.)
How to avoid sounding like a salesy asshole—while still selling like a motherfucker. (For 5 easy payments of $99, you can have this one-of-a-kind steam boiler!)
How Christmas shopping for your mother can help you write the perfect copy—once and for all
Why the age, gender, and income of your target audience DOES NOT MATTER. And why you need to ignore it while writing copy
As Well As Other Ungodly Crucial Lessons Like:
Why the phrases you think you should be putting on your website (i.e. Voted #1 in blah blah blah) are KILLING YOUR BUSINESS
On a related note, why I’m going to smack you with a ping-pong paddle if I ever see you write “We’re an honest team of blah blah blah.” Among other paddle-worthy phrases.
How to overcome the fact that every single person on your website is secretly looking for reasons NOT to buy from you (Remember the last time you wanted new perfume? You argued with yourself for 5 minutes as to why you didn’t need it, before finally giving in…didn’t you.)
The infamous Ashley Ambirge “wake-up-sweaty” test. Oh, the wake-up-sweaty test. It’ll save your fucking life. (Okay, that was an exaggeration.)
How the hell to write a sales page—the easy way.
The biggest key to writing a sales page that knocks it out of the park
An insider’s look at my actual writing process, step-by-step (feel free to steal!)
One of three elements that every single sentence you write must have—sink or swim style
Why sounding professional shouldn’t be the goal (and what should)
A mistake that everyone makes when writing copy for their website
A real-world case-study: Using the process and steps outlined in the previous week to craft copy for a live business who needs it (And exactly why we do everything we did—and how you can replicate the process)
The two most important pieces of copy that any business owner absolutely needs—no exceptions. (Hint: One is a surprise.)
Everything ABOUT PAGES—what an About Page really is, and how to write one that will help sell YOU.
The four non-negotiable elements of any wow-worthy About Page
How to avoid the mistake most non-writers make while writing a tagline for their business (and defeating the entire purpose of the tagline)
Invoking the “I have to have that!” response
Why product descriptions are more important than the product AND the image
Real life examples of product descriptions that work—and others that don’t (and why)
How all of this actually ties into email marketing—and how you can use it to get people to actually open your emails
Featuring Ash Saying Things Like:
I never want to see a sentence that goes, “Here at X company, we specialize in blah blah blah.” Fuck off. Nobody cares.
Let’s say you come into my store, and I greet you with a big ass black Hefty trash bag over my head, with some eye holes. What’s your reaction going to be? = BAD. You don’t want to do business with a crazy motherfucker wearing a black hefty trashbag on their head. EVEN IF YOU LOVE LOVE LOVE THE SHOES. You would still walk out. Business on the internet is NO DIFFERENT. Particularly if you’re a solopreneur, if you try to hide yourself, it’s the equivalent of coming at someone with a trash bag on your head. It’s fishy. And my ass is clicking off your website.
Because headlines are whores, and they weasel their way into everything you write.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that you actually have to do some work, first. Holy shit. But YOU CAN’T DODGE THE WORK AND EXPECT BUNDLES OF CASH TO FALL IN YOUR LAP. That only happens in the movies.
In Sum, the Self-Study Version of the Workshop Is:
- Really important when it comes to making money + running a successful business
- A combination of my own personal experiences as a professional copywriter, coupled with time-tested concepts.
- Self-study, so you can “attend class” whenever you want to. You’ll get access to all of the instructional materials, as well as actual instructions for how to use it
- Broken up into six weeks of instruction, two hours per week
- In lecture + screencast format (In other words, I show you my screen as we dissect web copy and look at real, live examples) (You also get to hear A LOT of my man voice.)
- …But there’s also cliff notes from each week for your reference, as well as a weekly assignment
And Guess What? There’s a Lava-Laden Surprise, Too. (Apologies to Those Who Hate Surprises.)
Not only do you receive the copywriting workshop, you also receive a bonus two weeks of additional instruction on how to set up, start and run a successful copywriting business–for all of those word lovers out there, who want to make a 6+ figure living out of it. Once and for all.
There, we cover everything from getting clients to legal structure to drafting proposals to upsells to contracts to word-for-word scripts on exactly what to say to clients–especially when they’re doing icky things like price shopping you, want you to lower your fees, or refuse to hold up their end of the bargain. There’s also lots of other gems in there, too, like what to do when you don’t have any samples. (A fun obstacle when you’re trying to start a copywriting business, right?)
So that’s cool. A bonus.
For the record, I hate the word bonus.
What Happens After You Buy Is:
- You’ll receive immediate access to the workshop lectures + screencasts
- And then just follow the instructions provided–easier than putting together an Ikea table.
If You Aren’t Sure If You Should Spend the Money:
- I understand. I feel the same way every time I go into Sephora. Oh, make-up stores.
- Would you pay me $8 per hour to teach you how to write like a pro, so your words sell your stuff? Phew. Because that’s actually what the cost of each hour long instructional video breaks down to. (It’s also what I used to make scooping ice cream as a college student–have I not moved up in the world?) Just for giggles, I just ran the math, and at my current consulting rate of $200/hour, this same info would technically cost $3,200 if I told it to you over the phone. So yes, maybe you shouldn’t spend the money. But my mathematical prowess tells me that $125 < $3,200. (Thank you, high school AP Calculus!)
But If You’re Still On the Fence, First Remove Yourself (Ouch!), And Then Take a Look At What Past Students Had to Say:
Someone get me a margarita. Get one for you, too. We’re about to blow the roof off of, oh, just the entire world.
IT’S GO TIME.
Take off your skirt, and let’s get dirty.
Click the Buy Now button in the upper left-hand corner of the page to get started.
Doing business without good copywriting is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you’re doing, but nobody else does.
TMFproject is led by Ash Ambirge, the go-to copywriter + online marketing sexpot for businesses + brands who want PERSONALITY. (Oh, and money. Money is nice.) Featured in Entrepreneur Magazine for her marketing shenanigans, to writing for celebrities like Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings and the Demi + Ashton Foundation, she gets around. She’s served as Director of PR for everyone’s favorite email marketing company, AWeber, and takes pride in having once written the world’s most shameless Seinfeld teaser commercials for the FOX Network. Yet, it all probably started way back when people still used AIM Instant Messenger, and she became the original protégé of billionaire CEO Andy McKelvey of Monster.com. (He made her cry the first time they met. True story.) In other news: Producers from the Rachael Ray show have recently been calling about doing a special segment, but then when they caught on to the fact that SHE CAN’T COOK, realized it was all a big mix-up. This is wise, because if anyone asks her to make so much as a grilled cheese? She’s calling her lawyer.