ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Stay Foolish. Stay Wise. Have CONFIDENCE.

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

Rules–particularly the dogmatic variety–are most useful for those who aren't confident enough to make their own damn decisions.

 

For the rest of us, there's vodka–so we can cope with the decisions we were foolishly wise enough to make.

 

So help us, Grey Goose.

 

Amen.

-Excerpt from my forthcoming book, The Middle Finger Project

You didn't think I forgot about my 2012 resolution, did you?

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If You Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter Who Doesn’t Deserve Anything and Worries About EVERYTHING, Read This. It’s a GOOD Thing.

I’m writing this from a place that could almost be mistaken for the Italian countryside, were I not surrounded by lizards and toucans and bullfrogs the size of a fucking dinosaur. Rather, I am high up in the hills of Central America overlooking the Costa Rican valley from my squishy, pancake lounger—it sort of reminds me of […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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The Numbers Don’t Mean Jack.

Hi.  It’s me, Ash. Was that obvious? I’m sorry to pardon your regular programming, but today we’re going to talk numbers. I hate numbers–you can go square root your mom. But sometimes, you’ve got to look at ’em. You know…like when it’s tax season. As you may remember, in 2011 I publicly showed the world how to make […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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2 Minute Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

If you clicked on this post, you either: a) Need to get a grip. b) Want to reclaim your life. c) Have no time to do either. d) Googled “mating habits of porcupines” and this just came up. e) You read everything I write because you’re secretly plotting my demise. With the exception of letter […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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On My Red Hot, Sinfully Sexy Affair.

  I’m currently gnawing on a big, squishy, ripe red tomato. Right now. As I type this. I’m forking salty chunks into my mouth as I hope (but not pray–I’m pretty bad at that) that tomato seed juice doesn’t dribble all over my keyboard. Before my current lusty, red hot tomato affair, I was getting […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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Fuck Shit Balls I Didn’t Finish Those Edits, Yet. And Other Stuff That Doesn’t Matter. (In Memory of Enrique.)

So I’m not sure what you did yesterday, but I, for one, witnessed somebody drown. You’re probably thinking I’m joking, because who mentions something like drowning so nonchalantly? But I am not, unfortunately, joking. And while I’m calm now, yesterday I was anything but. It was sunset, and I was with my Costa Rican girlfriends […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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Where’s Your God Damn Pineapple?

There’s always a reason why you shouldn’t. Shouldn’t spend the money. Shouldn’t be so frivolous. Shouldn’t miss work. Shouldn’t be irresponsible. Shouldn’t act so hastily. And a million other reasons why you shouldn’t do what you’ve been wanting to do. The real question, of course, isn’t whether you should or you shouldn’t. Because when it […]

In: WTF Am I Doing With My Life?

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