Fear, Exposed – Featuring Elisa Doucette
Everyone, meet Elisa.
If you know me, or you know Elisa, then you know that I’m totally saying that through a megaphone, because this is one chick you don’t want to miss. I had the pleasure of staying with Elisa for a few days this past summer in her Portland, Maine home (speaking of which, did you know the lobster is a relative of the cockroach?) while on the Way Below Status Quo roadtrip across america with Colin Wright & Andi Norris last summer. (Click here to check out our Maine video.)
Elisa’s not only as genuine and articulate as she seems online, but she’s just as fun, and thensome! She’s a kick ass freelance writer, blazing wild trails and making a name for herself, who, at this time last year, was still working her 9-5, only dreaming about living the life she is now. In addition, she writes at her blog, OpheliasWebb, and is currently publishing a series called Pas de Deux, a collection of essays exploring the complexities and the simplicities of all things LOVE. (I’ll be featured there tomorrow, February 15th!) Ladies and gents, I present to you the one and only: Elisa.
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You know those scam emails that you get ?
The kind that “offer you a million dollars if you send some money to this African prince” or “Your account has been breached. Please access through information below” or “Click this link to see the funniest video ever…it made me LOLZ!!!!!!1!!!!!”. Or, as a freelance writer, my personal favorite: “Please write for our high-profile website, all we need you to do is sign this contract and give us your name, date of birth, social security number, blood type and promise a child to be named at a later date. DO NOT CONTACT SAID HIGH PROFILE WEBSITE. This is a seeeeeeeeeeeecret and no one else knows about it.”
I suppose it is flattering. You have reached some level of notoriety when the scammy masterminds come after you. Or you signed up for a website you should not have and now your email address will forever be a duck with a broken wing on the first day of hunting season.
I was convinced when I got the email from Forbes.com that it was totally one of those scams. I Googled the heck out of the editor who reached out to me, called friends who were much cooler than I, and spent an hour reading through the links they had sent me. There was no way that a site like that would want someone like me.
See, I don’t have an RSS feed of 5000+ followers. I barely get 10 original commenters on most of my posts. I have less than 1500 Twitter followers. I’m lucky if I average 2500 unique visitors a month. My eBooks and affiliate sites aren’t landing me such bank that I can globe-trot the world buying rounds. I don’t have multi-book contract deals with major publishing houses. Hell, I don’t even have a one-book deal with a publishing house.
Websites like Forbes don’t track nobodies like me down and ask me to write a blog for them.
A few phone calls, emails, and gasping squealing moments of “Holy shit this is actually happening!” later, I signed a contract and was off to build my Forbes.com profile and blog (Shattering Glass* for anyone keeping track). As I searched through my peers’ profiles, I was overcome with a sickening realization.
These people ARE much bigger fucking deals than me.
They graduated from colleges like Vassar and Stanford and Harvard Business School. They have written books and directed movies. They hobnob with Jay-Z and Warren Buffet and Mark Zuckerberg. They have net worths of six and seven figures. They contribute to massive sites and advise major corporations. They are legit.
And I felt like a little kid playing dress up.
I’m terrified that someone is going to figure it out.
Because that is the trend that is happening online lately. We are all pretending that we are these amazing and inspiring personalities, accomplished and inflated from our own minds onto the screen. Separating our online selves from our real selves, projecting the best of everything we are and want to be into a 150×150 pixel avatar, intent on making a name for ourselves.
So we are encouraged to create fake online personas. We grin and bear it.
We are creating a walking army of online rotting-dead-inside-shells who are cookie cuttering themselves into carbon copies of words and pictures online.
You wanna TALK about zombies?!
And why?
Because we are terrified that our challenges and short-comings and failures will be judged and we won’t sell our newest online course or eBook to as many people? Because no one will care about the online you anymore if you aren’t some perfect idea of what we want online gurus to be? Because real people are not capable of accomplishing amazing things?
IT’S COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT!
We are setting ourselves up to fail before we even get started.
One can only live a dual-life for so long. I don’t know how 007-spies do it (though maybe it explains the rash of Alias-inspired dream sequences I’ve had over the past 10 nights…) but it seems exhausting. Hell, it IS exhausting. I’ve tried to do it before.
All these MANY online personalities are so amazingly wonderful. But perfection is hard to live up to, and even harder to maintain.
And so the chasm begins. The realization that you cannot be all things to all people. The fear that lingers and catches in your throat anytime you think someone is looking at you.
I’m talking about that evil little voice the creeps in from the back of your brain. It whispers tauntingly in your ear, lightly tickling the hairs on the back of your neck. It seduces your mind with its raspy tones and breaks your spirit with its destructive ways.
It is that little bastard that tells you that the real you isn’t good enough.
We are percolating a fear of being inadequate.
A fear of putting our REAL selves online because real people don’t sell and extraordinary never seems to be extraordinary enough when everyone is creating these “Sims” to represent themselves.
People! Wake up! Why are we SO AFRAID to be ourselves?
Last I checked, most human beings are pretty fucking cool. Many are even exceptionally cool. So cool, in fact, that we should all be emulated for being individual and brilliant and…yes…cool.
We are multi-dimensional and our inherent human spirit could lift us to the stars if we let it.
As long as you are doing stuff and trying to create the life you want, why not be proud of that?
Why pretend to be something better than what you already are?
It might be amazing how many people will reach out to help you achieve your dreams if they know you need/want help.
MOST HUMAN BEINGS WANT TO HELP OTHERS.
But who wants to help someone be fake?
To be part of a lie?
Aspire.
Absolutely.
Reach for the stars.
Dream big. Really fucking big.
Like the size of a small continent (Hell, make it a HUGE continent dream!)
Write a story for your life that is everything that you ever wanted it to be. AND THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN.
But don’t try to sell fiction on the non-fiction shelf. We have enough subpar realities with shows like The Jersey Shore and something about “Real Housewives” (who…please, bitch…represent .0000000000047% of “real housewives).
Do not EVER be ashamed to just be who you are.
* Ummm…can we seriously all take a step back and wrap our minds around the fact that HOLY SHIT I HAVE A BLOG ON FORBES.COM!?!?!
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Find Elisa at her blog, connect with her on Twitter, or keep up with her sexy new Forbes column. (Elisa, get me a guest post over there, already!)



Another Tuesday, another kick ass 













