Tag: Living

The 1% Rule for When You’re Feeling Rather “MEH, SUCKS” About Everything and Everyone, Even That Hot Pastry Chef

Well it’s Thursday and for everyone’s delight, I’ve compiled a random list of shit I absolutely should not know, but do: That you should photograph interiors with a wide-angle lens, set to 20mm instead of zoomed all the way out. (Otherwise you get distorted walls that curve in.) A ball of wool is technically called a “skein.” (And US 19 wooden knitting needles are my fav!) If there’s an elliptical fan light window on top of the front door, the

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“I Don’t Know What I Want to Dooooo, And I’m Kinda Confused, and I’m Feeling Like a Flakey Little Fruitcake, Ash!”

WITTY BANTER. Biggest turn-on ever. (Because we’re just opening with that, okay?) Like, I don’t even care if you’re wearing coveralls and haven’t shaved in forty-nine years: if you’re witty, I’m going to want to jump your bones. Which I won’t do, ahem, given that I’m in a relationship and all, but this is a hypothetical jumping of the bones, which is definitely allowed, as decreed by Queen Ambirge of The Middle Finger Project Kingdom of the North. First of

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UM, QUESTION: What are the Things You Hate, Actually *Giving* You…Homie?

They say that a behavior stays alive because it serves you in some way. AKA, If you’re eating the entire fridge, it might be because you actually hate your work and you’re trying to escape it any way you can, because YOU ARE TIRED AND YOU NEED A BREAK BUT YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF A GOOD GIRL TO GIVE YOURSELF ONE. *smooths skirt* I think about this often. Like, while I have Downton Abbey reruns playing in the background, and

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Feeling Overwhelmed (And Who Friggin’ Isn’t?): Ask Yourself This Three-Word Question

There are loadssss of questions I ask myself during the day. Things like, “Where have all the cowboys gone?” and “How awkward was my hello to the neighbor just now?!” And “I’ve eaten two salads in a row—AM I SKINNY YET?” But those are just the kinds of questions you ask yourself when you’re a fucking nutcase. Those fun bags aside, there is another question I ask myself when I’m feigning “responsible person who acts with intention and actually PLANS

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Ten Urgent Lessons Women Need to Learn About Making Money—Without Apology

So, clearly we are all aware that at present, I’m on a sliiiiiiiightly obsessive-compulsive crusade to help women make MORE MONEY, because THIS. (That said, I am also on a slightly obsessive-compulsive crusade to eat as much buffalo sauce as I can find and Insta-story the entire fucking city of Philadelphia, so, I mean, choose your own adventure?) The next couple of weeks, all we’re going to talk about is money. Making it. Making more of it. Keeping it. And

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Ladies: DO NOT LET THEM MONEY-SHAME YOU

You know what’s been blowing RIGHT up my skirt lately? That women are shamed for wanting money—as if this is a bad thing. We’re shamed for charging it, for thinking about it, and for daring to create something that we—brace yourselves, folks—want money for, in exchange. There’s this unspoken code of conduct that comes with being a woman, it seems, which says that you are supposed to give selflessly, sacrifice, and always put others first. Just think about all of

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You Have This GREAT IDEA, But You’re Hesitant to Take the Leap. Could This Be Why?

How hard would it really be? To launch that crazy-fun new business idea. To start something you’ve been dreaming of for months. To get up and get started and go for it. To be able to say, this time tomorrow, that you have begun. We all radically overestimate how hard it’ll be, and radically underestimate the fact that we are made of fucking stars. (No, I haven’t gone over to the dark side of believing in chakras, but I DID

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The Surprising Reason Why I Decided to Buy My Own (GASP!) Apartment—As an Independent Woman With Her Own Money and Her Own Mind

“WINNER, WINNER! OFFER ACCEPTED!!!” That’s what the subject line read as I cozied up with a glass of red wine, last night, nervously awaiting the news. And when the email came through? I almost choked. “Omg, I have tears in my eyes!” I wrote in response. (Along with a shit ton of other capital letters and exclamation points, my favorite.) Because here is what I learned on March 7th, 2019, just in time to celebrate International Women’s Day (hooray, it’s

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Dream Zappers, Thought Terrorists, and Why You Should Be Weary of Anyone Who Tells You “I’m Just Looking Out for You”

OKAY. I just have to say this before I freaking hurl a tray of freshly-baked carrot fries across the room. (What? They’re good. SPRINKLE THEM WITH SOME CUMIN.) So today at 8:32am I got a text from a friend—like, an actual, IRL friend—who is thinking about registering for B-School tomorrow (since she, like so many others, have been asking me for years how I started an online business, and this is my answer), but was pumping the brakes because she

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I Hate Mantras, And YET—I Love This One for When You’re Kinda Sorta Shitting Your Pants

I have a mantra (despite wanting to slit my throat upon hearing the word “mantra.”) Are you ready? My mantra is this: WHO CARES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? GO ANYWAY. Which sounds really kinda wrong, right? We’re a culture based on f-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-i-n-g-s. But sometimes, you have to override the ones that I call false positives. Like, even if your bitch-ass is scared to do something as simple as go to a SoulCycle class, where you will definitely not know

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