Yesterday, a reader emailed me this:

Ok. I’ve added you to my “HEROS” list on Twitter because you’re absolutely one of the people I’ve come across that I want to emulate in some form or fashion (sans the dress and overseas love affairs with men).

Anyway, I’ve combed through your blog quite extensively (a literary masterpiece) and I can’t seem to really round up your story.

I guess, if you have just a moment, I’d love to hear who you are and how you started.

Well, I took that suggestion to heart, because I realized that I haven’t really told my story in full, because I always try & keep my focus on the reader.

But maybe it’s time.

I hope you can take something from it.

And when you’re tempted to send me hate mail for publishing such an obnoxiously long post, you’ve got the guy who sent me that email to thank.  ;)  While you’re at it, you should also probably tell him that overseas love affairs are so worth it.

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OBLIVIOUS

When tears silently fell from her cheek upon finding the note from her lover, 3 days before their daughter was born that read:  ”I’m sorry.  I can’t do this.”

ASHAMED

When classmates asked me what my daddy did for a living.  I lied & told them he was Crocodile Dundee, and had to be in Australia to tame the outback.

CONFUSED

When we used different money than everyone else to buy bread & milk.

BITTER

When I was 14 and stood waiting in the hospital for my step dad to come out of the doctor’s office. He handed me a phamplet. It read, “Helping Your Family Cope with Terminal Cancer.”

NOSTALGIC

When I would hear Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” come on the radio after he died, just a few short months later, after tearfully asking me to call him “dad” instead of “Jimmy,” like I always had. I got to call him it twice.

MORTIFIED

When it was just me & my mom after that, and all of the other 15 year olds had basements underneath their houses. We had wheels.

FRUSTRATED

When my mother’s debilitating anxiety & social disorder prevented her from ever coming to watch me play volleyball more than once in 4 years. We were almost state champions.

RELIEVED

When the founder of Monster.com thought I was worthy enough to be awarded a 4-year, all-expense paid scholarship to a private, liberal arts school—room & board included. The scholarship was based on financial need & demonstrated entrepreneurial spirit. My mom cried.

GUILTY

When I took the scholarship and left her all alone.

SADDENED

When an unexpected card would arrive with $50 that she didn’t have inside, telling me to go buy myself something pretty.

ANNOYED

When, 6 years later, I found myself in that same hospital waiting room. But this time, it was my mother I was waiting for to come out of the doctor’s office.

SCARED

When I realized the seriousness of the matter.

PATIENT

When she taught me how to pay all of the bills, as I wrote out check after check from her hospital bedside, as nurses came in and out to take her blood.

LIVID

When the doctor’s arrogant insensivity to her pain one day made her weep.

VENGEFUL

When I let him have a piece of my 20 year old mind.

FRUSTRATED

When college friends ragged on me for not going out that weekend to party.

RESENTFUL

When I couldn’t.

SHOCKED

When I got the phone call while driving to my first day at my internship at a local TV station.

DEVASTATED

When, by the time I got to our house, the coroner had taken her body & simply left a note on the door.

BITTERSWEET

When, 4 months later, I walked across the graduation stage & got my college degree, not even bothering to look out into the crowd for a familiar face, knowing there wouldn’t be one.

INDIFFERENT

When I hastily auctioned off all of our things.

LOST

When I sold our house & moved to Costa Rica—mostly because I didn’t know what else to do.

DISTRAUGHT

When I loved it there, but still felt the pressing need to “live up to my potential” & become a CEO.

HOPEFUL

When I flew back to the United States several months later to interview for my first real job.

WORRIED

When I realized that I didn’t have a home to return to.

GRATEFUL

When the job went so well, I received a promotion to head up marketing efforts.

DISHEARTENED

When I’d see planes pass by my office window, and longed to be one of the passengers on board.

DISAPPOINTED

When the realization came that I could only be one of those passengers for up to two weeks a year, from now until the day I retired.

DISILLUSIONED

When I discovered that my dreams of corporate success were never worthy of my time.

DESPAIRED

When others told me I was naïve, and that I just had to suck it up.

LONELY

When those same people spent Thanksgiving & Christmas with their families.

ARROGANT

When I quit my job in 2007 & decided to become a freelance copywriter instead.

FOOLISH

When I actually thought that spending my time developing corporate communications materials that didn’t interest me would be any better.

EXCITED

When that same year, Escape Artist gave me a contract to write an eBook on visiting Costa Rica.

SMART

When I realized they didn’t have exclusive rights, and I could develop my own site & sell the book there, too.

DETERMINED

When I laboriously tried to learn HTML.

ELATED

When I saw my very first sale come through Clickbank.

INTRIGUED

When I discovered the world of Google Adwords.

ADDICTED

When it became apparent that you really can make money online.

CONFIDENT

When I painstakingly slaved over a book proposal to write a non-fiction narrative titled, “The Truth About Mangoes.”

TORN

When I repeatedly received the infamous rejection letter (after rejection letter after rejection letter after rejection letter).

DESPERATE

When I wasn’t making as much money online as I thought I would, and had to borrow money from a boyfriend to pay my $1,000 a month rent.

HOPELESS

When I caved to pressure & agreed to take a job as an advertising account executive in order to pay the bills.

ENCOURAGED

When I got contract after contract signed on the spot.

UNCERTAIN

When, in my heart, I knew I needed more than signatures & commissions.

PETRIFIED

When, despite that knowledge, I was too scared to make any bold moves, knowing that I had no one in the world to back me up if I failed.

INCENSED

When I stood by and watched that fear get the best of me.

OPTIMISTIC

When I returned to school for my master’s degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.

ANXIOUS

When I imagined that my degree would allow me to indefinitely travel the world, and make anywhere I pleased my home.

IRRITATED

When loan applications were denied without a parent co-signer.

STUBBORN

When I decided that I would teach English online as a way to make up for it.

HEARTBROKEN

When, at a time when I was just barely making ends meet with $26 in my checking account, a good friend told me I needed to find a new place to live so her boyfriend could move in.

DEFEATED

When I had no choice but to go stay with a mysterious new guy I had been seeing.

DESTROYED

When, a few weeks later, I fought for my life as the mysterious new guy almost strangled me to death, and physically threw me outside onto the pavement because I was late.

HOPELESS

When I was alone & scared in the middle of the night, with everything I owned and no place to go.

ANGUISHED

When a friend told me it was my own fault, and that if I had only just played by the rules & had continued to go to work everyday like everyone else, I would have had had a savings & would have never have been in that situation.

OBSTINATE

When I decided to start The Middle Finger Project as a way to find people who GOT IT. Who got ME, and this NEED to seek MORE out of life…despite the consequences.

DILIGENT

When I taught myself everything I needed to know about blogging via endless Google searches.

VALIDATED

When my ideas were well-received, and I began to grow an audience.

COURAGEOUS

When I remembered how good my online success felt in 2007, and decided to learn as much as I could about affiliate marketing.

AMAZED

When some months I was making > $1000+ as a result.

EXHILARATED

When I found myself up until the wee hours of the night writing for the blog, which told me I was finally on the right path.

DEDICATED

When I decided I wanted to make it my full-time gig.

INSPIRED

When I continued on with TMF, and began plotting & executing some other online projects as well.

PEACEFUL

When my influence online grew & grew, and I began making more & more money.

INVIGORATED

When I decided to move to Chile, simply because I wanted to, and I can, since I no longer have to be in any one physical location, thanks to the internet. And later, Spain. And later, Costa Rica. And now, back in the U.S.A. for a jaunt in a sexy loft apartment I made my own.

HAPPY

When I looked around me yesterday, took a sip of my wine, and finally felt like I was doing what I was meant to do, and being what I was meant to be…despite the long road it took to get here.

That said, I have a message.

For everyone out there thinking to yourself that it’s unrealistic, YOU ARE WRONG.

For everyone out there shackled by fear, telling yourself that you could lose everything, YOU ARE RIGHT.

And for everyone out there that, despite that knowledge, is still willing to risk it by fighting for something more out of this fleeting speck of time we’re granted here on earth, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WILL TRULY SUCCEED.

Because at the very least, you know that you did everything you could.

Not many people can say the same.

-

Last week, my post on Truth resonated well with you, helping to confirm that—NO–you don’t have to live the way we’ve been taught to live, and—YES–there is another way.  More is possible.  And it’s yours for the taking.

So today, we’re doing a 180—possibly more fun if we were in a raft going down the rapids of the Brazilian Amazon together, but if you think about it, that’s sort of exactly what we’re doing, in an only-Ashley-would-say-that metaphorical sense.

Minus the string bikinis, of course–though you’re welcome to strap on one if it helps you get in the mood.

Just stay put in your apartment.

Word to the wise.

MYTH:

You think to yourself:  “You are no Chris Guillebeau; you should just go find a job.”

–Fear expressed from an actual reader email

If you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking you aren’t interesting enough, not smart enough, not savvy enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough, you’re, first, wrong, and second, ignorant of the way the world works.

This is no cheesy, self-help, have-faith-in-the-power-of-you! speech—as much as I love those—this is about cold, hard facts.

While it is absolutely true that you will not appeal to everyone (it’s impossible), you DO have tremendous appeal—just to the RIGHT PEOPLE.  This is key.

While Chris Guillebeau is great, he is only great because there was a group of like-minded people who supported him.  There are many others in the world–the wrong people–who might not think so.  Those people don’t matter–only your right people.

How do you find your right people?

Here’s where the internet comes in.

The internet is crucial in helping us do work that’s meaningful to us—now we have the ability to stand in a crowd, exactly as we are, hold a sign up telling the world what we stand for, and have a like-minded audience flock to us—our RIGHT PEOPLE.

In the past, you had no sign—only big corporations did–and you were obligated to have to push through the crowd, toppling people over to get to the front, just so you could stand in line, waiting to be recognized by one of those corporations.  In order to do so, you couldn’t be exactly as you are—you had to be exactly as they wanted you to be.

A clone.  A cog.  A dispensible resource.

Why do you think they call it “human resources?”

It’s a fundamental shift in power, my friends, and it’s time to start using it to your advantage.

MYTH:

“I’ve already invested so much of my time & money into this career; even though I’m miserable, I don’t want to waste it all.  I should just stick it out and be grateful for what I have.”

–Thought-process expressed from actual reader email

Being grateful & gracious is nice.

Especially when your grandmother gives you birthday money.

BUT.

There’s a fine line between being “grateful” and “settling”–and it’s essential not to confuse the two.

The distinction is quite literally a matter of life or death; those who choose (note the deliberate use of the word “choose”) to exist on this earth as nothing more than a pawn in someone else’s game are merely biding their time.  You don’t want to bide your time; you want to DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

Settling has NO BUSINESS in your heart, in your mind & in your LIFE.

Think of it this way: So you’ve dedicated the first 20 years of your professional life doing something you hate.  If you continue on that path, an investment won’t be recouped—an investment will be lost.  That investment will be your life.

You cannot get that time back, no matter what you’ve done in the past; better to cut your losses and make sure you don’t make the same mistake for the next twenty years.

MYTH:

“I work for a nice company.  I do what they ask.  They pay me a fair wage.  That’s just life—you do work in exchange for money.  I can’t complain.”

–Perspective expressed from an actual reader email

Yes, you can complain, and you should.

I cannot stress how antiquated this approach to the work-life equation is.

You don’t do work in exchange for money.  You do work in exchange for a SMALL PERCENTAGE of the money that your role profits the company.

If it weren’t profiting the company, your role wouldn’t exist.  And the only way it can profit the company, is by creating a gap in the value you provide, and what you’re paid.  The difference that’s left over is theirs to keep.  And then you go home with just enough to pay your bills and you wait, like a dog waiting to be pet by its owner, for your next bone—your next small percentage of money that is your paycheck.

This does not have to be “just life.”

Are you really willing to sell your life for a mere $100 a day or so?

That’s essentially what you’re doing.

On top of meager earnings (in comparison to the value you provide), there’s also the opportunity cost—what you must give up in order to work at your job.  In order to do one thing, you must forgo something else—unless you can be in more than one place at one time, in which case, contact me ASAP because I want in.

In order to make $100 a day, what must you forgo?

Maybe it’s spending time with your children.  Maybe it’s being able to travel.  Perhaps it’s having the leisure to paint, cook or read when you need a break.

Or maybe what you forgo isn’t tangible—maybe you forgo your energy, your vibrancy, and your zest for life.

Now THERE’S an opportunity cost to be considered.

On the other hand, if you can learn how to build a business around your life, by leveraging your passions and the power of the internet, the opportunity cost of doing so will be in forging the 8-10 hours a day you spend wishing you were doing something else.  And that’s a good thing.

AND you get to keep all of the profits.

Sexy, right?

Don’t worry—there will be more myths busted to come.  I’m a big fan of lists lately.

With that, I’ll simply insert a not-so-subtle reminder (cue trumpets!  Raise the flags!  Shake what yo’ mamma gave ya!)  that TOMORROW, Friday, November 12th, is the last day of pre-sales on my new book, You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts:  Combining Passion + Self + Business Through Digital Entrepreneurship. Then, all sales will be halted, starting at midnight EST on November 13th, until the official launch, on December 8th, and the price will go up.  [NOTE: Pre-sales are now over. ]

Note: This is not a hard copy book.  It’s an eBook.  Why?  Because it’s superior.  I’ll tell you why in the book.

You can read more here, or click here to purchase ($40) & get all giddy inside.

One life to live, baby.

Better make it a good run.

-

Happy Tuesday, guys!  I’ll keep today’s Fear, Exposed intro short – this wonderful, fabulous, (gorgeous!), India-loving extraordinaire is Claudia.  Nomad at heart (and in practice!), & brand-new resident of Nashville, Tennessee. Chocolate cake lover, yoga practicioner, and avid student of the school of life.  Recently launched the blog Creative Relationship with her partner, Matt, in order to share what they’ve learned & help others who are interested in living and loving consciously.

Living & loving consciously – that has sex appeal, does it not?

Sometimes the fear is in change and in letting go.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who embraces change. Someone who bravely deals with the rapid blind turns that life can throw at you. I’ve had the good fortune of getting to know change intimately. Change has been at times a friendly companion and at others a frightening specter, but it’s always been there as far back as I can remember.

My first eleven years were spent moving around the world. We moved camp every year or two; getting to know a new place as “the new girl” was a way of life. My father worked on government road projects, so when the road was finished, our trip down the next road began.

My family settled into a new country, new school, new friends, even new languages more often than anyone else I knew. All these moves helped me to face many fears. I was a shy child, so the frequent moves taught me to confront my shyness and to feel comfortable with altering circumstances.

By my mid twenties, I had lived in six different countries and in a multitude of cities. Not only was I at ease with change, but by now I believed it was a necessity in my life. I needed it like I needed water.

Traveling was indispensable, movement was my breath of fresh air, and challenging my fears and pushing past them was my way of feeling really alive.

The biggest fear I had to contend with was my fear of living a mediocre life, of the white picket fence and of a life of complacency–that fear was terrifying, and I did everything in my power to run from everything that smelled of conformity or following rules. Many times, people asked me, “What are you trying to prove, and to whom?” Looking back, I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I could beat my fears, that I could live in the way that I wanted to live, no matter what.

At the age of 26 I had just arrived in the south of Spain with my then-partner. We had been backpacking all of South America for a year and needed to start making some cash. We had a lot of enthusiasm and pages and pages of business ideas and ‘inventions’ that we had thought up over the course of our travels. Lifestyle was the main focus.

We wanted to continue to be able to travel and to lead the life of adventure with which we were both now familiar.

I loved traveling, I loved beautiful things, I loved India. The Far East was by far my favorite region of the world to wander around in (and still is), and India in particular holds a very very special place in my heart. In fact, I’ve always called it “the home of my heart,” a place that my heart fell in love with from the moment I first landed there. For anyone that has ever traveled there, you will probably smile knowingly when I say that India is a place that you either love or hate. There are no “maybe’s” in India. It is a full-on experience! A country of color and contradiction, of immense wealth and poverty, of deep traditions and many Gods.

We started a company importing everything Indian: architectural pieces, jewelry, textiles, furniture…everything that was beautiful and everything that was attractive to my eye. I backpacked the backroads of my beloved India, (and other eastern countries) for the next 10 years looking for things for our business.

My love affair with India grew and flowered. At the same time, our business grew and flowered.

It became bigger than we ever though it would (or ever planned on for that matter). It in fact became the proverbial “golden cage” in my life. The business was prosperous and well known, but it also required an immense amount of time and attention in order to maintain. As much as I loved it, in many ways I was also tied down by it.  But at that time, I didn’t care.  We were doing so well, and I was doing something I loved.

In addition, my business was a great teacher for me.

It taught me to keep facing the new fears that came up.

It taught me that you don’t have to have a degree or schooling in something in order to succeed; all you need is passion and the willingness to work hard and go the extra mile.

Belief in yourself and belief in your path.

It taught me that you can dream something and make it come true. It taught me to do business as a woman traveling alone in countries where women just don’t do that–business OR traveling alone. It helped me hone my instincts and feel confident in my ability to create.

I matured so much through this experience and grew into a successful business woman. I gave as much love and care to my business as I would have to any child I might have had. I gave it my full energy, anxious nights and grinding days.

Until one day I realized I had become enslaved.

My profession had become my identity, my ‘free’ life was just an illusion, because I was bound hand and foot to the commitment of my work. My life was dedicated to my business and I was forgetting to live. I was forgetting my fear of conformity because I was giving in to it. I was losing myself.

In the meantime my life had brought one of its twists and turns…my partner and I had broken up and we decided that only one of us would continue to run the business.

I decided to let go.

The year of 2008 was my “dark night of the soul.” I struggled that entire year with the decision of letting go. Mostly the advice I got from people was that I should stay and run the business.
I heard:

“You would be stupid to throw away so many years of your life”

“Leave and do WHAT?”

“Why would you leave a perfectly good thing in order to follow exactly WHAT?”

“You would be out of your mind to give up the business!”

In fact, most of the opinions I got were of the negative kind, telling me to stay put, to keep doing what I was doing. Yet somehow, deep inside of me, I felt that I needed to let go, to do something new, to free myself of my beautiful golden cage, to find another expression of me.

Letting go was the hardest decision I’ve had to take in my life so far. I was completely terrified. Afraid of what would come next, afraid of making the biggest mistake of my life, afraid that everyone else was right and I was giving something up that I shouldn’t be giving up. Afraid of being no one without my business, afraid of how I would survive and what I would do next.

Yes, it took me an entire year to finally decide! I thought I was quick to make decisions, but this certainly took the cake for procrastinating. I had so much fear that I gave myself an ulcer and dove into a depression that lasted for months.

The change I thought I was so comfortable with, turned into a monster that I could not face. Letting go had become an insurmountable fear.

Change was once my friend, then it was my teacher, now it was my biggest fear.

Finally I made the leap, I let go of everything. That really meant everything: my business, my ex-partner, the country I had been living in for the past ten years, my friends, my stuff…and then I got on a plane with my dog and left it all behind.

On my way to who knows where.

It has been two years since my big leap into the unknown. Again change and fear have become my biggest teachers. Showing me my self-worth is not tied to my job, showing me I can survive the hardest of times, showing me I do have the courage to follow my heart and my instincts no matter what, no matter where, no matter what anyone says.

I’ve found myself again, found my freedom again, and found that the decision I made was the right decision. I want my life to be a collection of many precious moments and experiences, many expressions and many careers. I don’t want to be tied down to something just because I “should be,” just because it seems like the “smart thing to do” to other people. I want my life to be an interesting book of life, something I can look back on in my old age and feel proud of and smile to myself about.

I count myself as infinitely fortunate, and am so grateful for the experiences that life has brought about. Change and fear have taught me about myself and this world and how to navigate it in the most aware, awake, and loving manner.

I like what Amy Bowman said in a previous post here on the series Fear Exposed, it is funnily enough, something that my sister kept telling me when I was dealing with my own excruciatingly painful decision to let go.

“When a door gets closed, a window will open.”

…a window did open, and I was happily surprised at what was on the other side. If, like me, you are feeling afraid of letting go of something–of closing a door for fear of what is or isn’t on the other side–I too, urge you to to crawl through that window… and find magic there.

-

Ash Note:

1)  This post contains so much wisdom, it’s ridiculous. I so fell in love with Claudia upon first email–no question as to why.

2)  I decided to up and come to Chile this past weekend. So, there’s that.  I thought it was summer here, but I was cruelly deceived–it’s still cold.  And my fingers are frozen.  And I didn’t bring any sweatshirts.  And all I really, really, really want is a sweatshirt.  Though the cheap red wine has been doing a good job of keeping me warm.  I think I’ll be here for a while – if you’re in the neighborhood, please let me know.  As I said to those on my email list, I promise not to force you to eat any strange type of sausages.  Though, the chopped onion, lima bean & lemon salad I ate last night was pretty damn good.

3)  If you have been hibernating/kidnapped/hiding in a cave and didn’t hear about my latest project, You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts:  Combining Passion + Self + Business Through Digital Entrepreneurship, click here to see how you can wake up randomly in Chile, too, whenever you want (and make a living while you’re at it).

Truth:

Most people will walk this earth for decades, feeling guilty for not pursuing the great adventures inside of them, but will never do anything about it.

Truth:

Most people are overwhelmed by fear, and will make some of the worst choices of their lives because of it.  Greatness evolves from trust–in yourself, in your ideas, and in your ability to know, deep down, what’s best for YOU.  We must not betray that trust, because the moment we do, we betray our own potential.

Truth:

Most people will do exactly as they are told to do, won’t ever question the rules, and will believe that by doing so, they’ll get farther in life.  While this may have once been the case, in a time when assembly lines were hip, the exact opposite is true now. In the age of technology, success awaits only those who are willing to break the rules, stand out from the crowd, and be daringly, unflinchingly, unapologetically DIFFERENT.

Truth:

Most people believe that there is more safety & security in a 9-5 than there is in being an entrepreneur.  Though, more and more it becomes glaringly obvious that relying on only one sole source of income is a big (and irrational) risk. Furthermore, by building your work around yourself & creating new business opportunities, rather than building yourself around your work & having to adapt to already available business opportunities, your measures of success go far beyond money. And this is always, always, ALWAYS a good thing.

Truth:

Most people leave the quality of their lives up to luck & happenstance, and believe, somewhere deep down, that eventually they’ll be rescued by someone or something.  As much as I love a pristine white horse as much as the next guy, it’s crucial to remember that you’ve got to be the hero in your own story.  The damsel-in-distress role is the coward’s way of living life.

Truth:

Most people want more from life–more fulfillment, more excitement, more pleasure, more peace, more self-assurance, more satisfaction, more happiness, and way more juicy stories to tell–but they’ll never get it because they let the lack of immediate know-how become an (unnecessary) obstacle.

Truth:

Most people will never actually live–they’ll just think they did.

Take Away:

If you want to do meaningful, rich, brilliant things in life–if you demand more from life than an average, humdrum existence–you cannot be most people.

There IS another way.

More is possible.

You’ve simply got to want it bad enough–bad enough that the pain of NOT moving forward is greater than the pain of taking action.  Then you have no choice but to rally every single cell of your body, mind, heart & soul to go forth and fight for it–honorably, and with conviction.  And then make it yours.

You Don’t Need a Job

Many of you are reading this, likely because you’re dissatisfied with your life.  (Been there.)

Maybe you long to escape the cubicle nation.  Maybe you want to travel the world.  Maybe you want to live authentically & do meaningful work that you’re passionate about.  Maybe you want to do all of the above.  Or maybe you just want to ride alpacas & drink homemade beer all day.

The point is that you AREN’T.  (Yet.)

….

But you CAN be.  (Soon.)

Most of the time, the reason you aren’t falls into one of the categories described above–common traps that most people fall into, preventing them from taking control of their own lives, and let their lives control them.

It’s a deadly combination mostly comprised of: lack of know-how + lack of confidence.

And that’s exactly why I started The Middle Finger Project, exactly one year ago today:  To provide you with the know-how, and to provide you with the confidence, so that you can rock the hell out of your life, & love. every. single. second. of. it.

The Middle Finger Project was created with everything I’ve got in order to help you break free of your own self-imposed limitations, to help you gather the courage necessary to take big leaps, to help you start believing in the power of meaningful, passion-driven work, to help break down false assumptions regarding work & life, and, ultimately, to help you build a life that you’re damn proud to call your own.

Over the past year, I’ve worked hard to present the right frame of mind, revving you up & helping you to see life from a new, more self-loving perspective–one that will pave the mental path that you need to push past societal expectations & think in more unconventional terms in order to be in a position to do remarkable things.

I’ve pored over my keyboard, communicating my deepest & most sincere belief that LIFE IS MEANT TO BE PLEASURABLE–not merely tolerable. I’ve put painstaking effort into helping you realize the value of every single precious moment, and the true fleeting nature of time.

I’ve tenderly put forth this website, my thoughts & the contributions of others to serve as a pillar of support for your journey–and to stand guard against your most penetrating fears, your deepest doubts and your most deep-seated apprehensions.

And by golly, we done good, guys.

But one thing that I haven’t done–yet–is provide you with a more tangible, actionable means of accomplishing your goals.

Most of you are on board with the whole I-realize-I-don’t-have-to-suffer-doing-meaningless-crap-I-don’t-enjoy-just-for-a-paycheck’s-sake, but now you need to know exactly what the next step is.

When you’re first starting out on any new journey–whether it’s entrepreneurial or not–you just want someone to tell you what the **** to do.

We all do.

So, I’m going to do just that.

Allow me to introduce my latest project:

The world’s sassiest, most fearless, most upfront, raw, honest, no holds barred eBook á la magnificent…

…that is so righteously good, so devilishly unconventional, so steamingly revelational, and so immeasurably powerful…

…in terms of the changes that YOU + THIS KNOWLEDGE can make in the world…and in your life.

You Don’t Need A Job, You Need Guts:
Combining Passion + Self  + Business
Through Digital Entrepreneurship

This femme fatale of a book will:

1. Nudge you forward (though not very gently, I’m afraid), from your current life, to a life you’ll be wild for, doing passionate + meaningful work (independent of location, if you wish) that lets you embrace every part of you, and go forth into the world, and embrace every part of it.

2. Help you clearly define + envision exactly what your ideal life looks like (you can’t hit a target that doesn’t exist, sugar).

3. Guide you step-by-step (no vague, glossing over ANYTHING, folks) through what it takes to make that life a reality, by leveraging the number one most undervalued, underappreciated, and under-used tool:  YOU.  Once we get all the glory that is you squared away, we’ll look at how you + your passion + demand + business + laptop can equal blissful digital entrepreneurship + money + a kingdom like no other ever on the planet.

4. Most importantly, You Don’t Need a Job will encourage you to think in ways that you never have, about what things are possible when it comes to life & work, and will take you by the hand and show you precisely how to leverage your own innate strengths to create the business & lifestyle that’s right for you.

In other words, it’s life on your terms.
(And business on your terms.)

It’s a life you feel good about.
(And a business you feel good about.)

It’s a life you want to have.
(And a business you want to have.)

And it’s a life you love.
(And a business you love, too.)

And it will change everything.

Why This Sexy Little Number is Worth Your Time:

You’re intelligent.

You’re ambitious.

And you want more from life.

Period.

Why This Sexy Little Number is Worth My Time:

I get to do red hot, riveting work that I love

Knowledge + sharing is the blueprint for all great movements

The quality of our lives depends on it

You Dig?

$40

Click here to view the Table of Contents

Click here to watch a fun video interview of me discussing the book.

Want to Help Spread the Word? (Because You Heart the Project & You Want to Make Money, Too)

Sign up to become an affiliate!

One Last Thing

I’ve started a fund.

(Yes, a fund!  Minus all of the lame banking attitude, of course.)

5% of all eBook sales will be donated toward a special TMFproject fund–not to benefit a big-name organization–but for YOU.  For us. For the dreamers in hiding.  The dreamers desperate to breathe.  Desperate to feel.  Desperate to live.  And desperate to come alive.  

And for the sanity of this world.

It’s tentatively called The Freedom Fund (if you have gutsy name suggestions, bring it), and it’s designed to benefit aspiring digital entrepreneurs who are struggling financially to get on their feet & make their dreams/goals/aspirations/ass-kicking projects a reality at the same time.

Maybe it’s a website design.

Maybe it’s a new laptop.

Perhaps it’s business consulting.

Or maybe just a babysitter for a quiet reprieve & some creative time.

Hell, maybe the damn water bill just needs to be paid.

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Sometimes, we just need someone to cut us a break.

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Sometimes, having someone who believes in us & who imparts just a small glimmer of self-confidence, is all it takes for us to go out & set the universe on fire.

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And sometimes–sometimes–there will be girls with vulgarly-titled websites and heartfuls of hope, who simply just want to be the change they wish to see in the world.

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Why Not Take The Leap?

I’ve been meeting a lot of truly smart, savvy, remarkable people lately.  So many are saying to hell with the safety net, and are leaping toward their passions, and haven’t looked back since.

On the same token, however, so many of those smart, savvy, remarkable people are not.

Frankly, this makes me want to burst into tears and heave a cartful of lemon tarts at someone.

I’m dangerous like that.

Being a naturally curious person, I’m prone to asking why a lot.  Why aren’t you leaping toward your passion?  If you’re not happy where you are, then why not change it?  What’s preventing you from living the life you wish you were?

I have this annoyingly obsessive need to know the answers to these things.  We’re capable of doing so much, yet don’t take advantage of the opportunities that are available to us.  By “doing so much,” that isn’t to imply that more is better, because it’s too often the case that we’re already doing so many things that we’ve created a self-imposed prison of sorts; we’re prisoners to our own lives, and we can’t get off the treadmill.

It isn’t a matter of quantity; it’s a matter of quality.  It isn’t about doing more; it’s about reflecting on what it is we’re already doing, and assessing whether or not what we’re doing make sense in line with who we want to be.

You are the sum of the collection of things you do.

On the surface, that may sound superficial–I am not defined just what I do, but what I think and what ideas I have!

Sure thing, cowboy–ideas are great, but an idea will only take you so far without action.

If you aren’t willing to take your ideas and thoughts and turn them into something tangible, then in a tragic sort of way they become nearly useless.  Sure, there’s some value in critical thinking by itself, but there needs to be a product of that critical thought in order for it to truly become meaningful.

Ideas are magical.  They have the power to transform your entire life, if only you’ll pay attention to them and then do something with them. The only time something is “just a dream” is when you allow it to be.  In this sense, we’re not just prisoners to our own lives, but we’re volunteering to be.

Top 5 Excuses (You Make) That Zap Your Dreams

Throughout the conversations I’ve been having with folks, I’ve noticed a common theme emerging.  It seems as if the following 5 excuses are most popular on why people aren’t doing what they wish they could do:

1.  I don’t think I’m good enough.

Someone call the self-esteem police; this one is just not going to cut it.  Ever.  First of all, “good” is a relative term.  As long as you know more about a topic than someone else, then you will be filling a need.

Second, if you really aren’t very good at something you’d like to do, you’ll never become any better at it if you don’t start somewhere.  Don’t let lack of experience prevent you from doing awesome shit; start small and build from there.

2.  I don’t have the time.

Doing awesome shit is a priorities game. You’re absolutely right–there are only 24 hours in a day, and sometimes we’re limited not only by hours, but by how much creative, emotional and physical energy we have at any given time.  Sometimes you’re just not in the zone; hell, I’ve been having a hard time myself getting in the zone as we work from the car.  As I type this, I’m writing with my mac on my lap in the passenger seat, en route from Wilmington, North Carolina to Orlando, Florida.

I get that.

But here’s the thing: Nothing’s going to change if you don’t start making time.  We aren’t super heros; you can’t do everything at once.  We need to carefully pick and choose our battles.

What are you fighting for?  In other words, what do you dedicate most of your time and energy to?  Is it helping you achieve your goals, or is it standing in your way?

3.  I don’t have the money.

Money simply isn’t as important as we make it out to be.  Most people assume that in order to start a business, for example, they’ll need to come up with so much capital and then find an office and then hire employees, etc. etc. etc.  We start imagining all of the details, and we become overwhelmed by them.  Frustrated.  Intimidated.  Scared.  And we chicken out.  We make excuses.  We tell ourselves that it isn’t the best time to be starting a business right now, anyway, and that maybe our job isn’t so bad–at least there’s free coffee, right?

It’s a fine example of voluntary self-imprisionment at it’s finest.

The truth is that it doesn’t have to be that complicated.  It doesn’t have to be that big.  We can start moving toward our goals inch by inch, and readjust as necessary.  We don’t have to start out having all of the bells and whistles; maybe we just get started doing some probono work to build our reputation, in order to find some paying clients who will help fund our growth.

Everyone started somewhere.  Having a lot of money isn’t necessary to do awesome shit; having the courage to take positive forward steps is. Imagine the goal, and then figure out a way to make it happen.  Don’t let a lack of funds deter you from exploring ideas that could change your life for the better.

4.  I don’t know how.

This might be the least valid excuse of all, and we need to pick it up and chuck it out the window, right into the dumpster.

If it turns out that you don’t know much about a given topic, then dammit, GO FIND OUT.  In the age of information, if you’re willing to dedicate a little time, then you can become nearly expert at almost anything.  Don’t be lazy–this is your life we’re talking about here.

5.  I don’t have a degree in X.

In the past, this argument might have been more acceptable; nowadays, however, it’s been rendered obsolete, thanks to the internet.  Degrees are nothing more than red tape; in reality, anyone can go learn the same amount of knowledge themselves through books, podcasts, forums, blogs, web searches, etc.

Let’s say tomorrow I decide I want to become a web designer.  I don’t need to go to a fancy design school and take out a ton of loans to do so; I simply need to get resourceful and start consuming information, start practicing, and start seeking feedback from those with more experience–not hard to do.  Hop on Twitter and leverage the incredible power of networking.

Then I brand myself as an expert in X, and start taking on clients.  Boom.  I’m a web designer.  Just like everything, there’s a learning curve, but it’s absolutely one worth riding on two wheels until you get your bearings. Obviously this might not work for all fields, but there’s a lot you can do on your own.  It’s about having the confidence to get started.

Whatever you do, do not let yourself become one of those “if only I had….” people.  You will never forgive yourself.

Be bold. Take chances.  Revel in the unknown.  And remember that there’s no proof that says that life was meant to be serious.  Get out there and play with it.  Engage with the world.  See what’s out there.

And always, always, always have faith in yourself.

At the end of the day, it’s all we’ve got.

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