ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Definitive, Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Finding Some Focus, And Jump-Starting Your Biz…So You Can Stop Feeling Like an Procrastinating Asshole (And Start Making Some Cashola)

In: Online Marketing

Sometimes I make bad decisions.

The time I decided to consume alcohol while on a date while ON CRUTCHES  was one of those times. (Thanks for not even trying to catch me as my metal crutches went flying, Bob, you scumbag.)

But then there are other times, when my decision-making skills operate at peak performance.

Like the time I went on a man-vacation, and vowed not to date for a year, so I could focus entirely on me and my biz. (Effective, ahem, immediately.) Or…that other time when I spent an afternoon hanging out with some homeless dudes in Philadelphia, telling stories and being human together. (Highly recommended. Especially for those needing to dismount the high horses they were born atop of.)

Yet, I have to say, possibly one of the best decisions I've made this year was in asking you to answer some questions for me.-

I learned so, so much about you. Things like:

  1. You're scared shitless. Welcome to the world of entrepreneurship!
  2. You're aching for a tangible, step-by-step, system or program to take you by the hand and guide you through the process of brainstorming business ideas, knowing how to judge feasibility, coming up with a distinct plan of action, and then walking you through that plan of action–with lots and lots of templates. But you don't know where to start. Or you don't seem to have enough time. Or you're feeling overwhelmed. Or you're scared that you'll pick the wrong thing. Or you think you can't do something that's already been done. Or you falsely believe that you need a bunch of capital to get started. Or you worry you won't be good enough. Or you have no idea what the hell you can even sell. And did I mention that you just don't have enough hours in the day? Sound like you? (If not, see #3)
  3. On the other hand, the rest of you might have had some success in getting your biz off the ground, but now you're having big problems getting clients. Or you have clients, but they aren't paying you what you're worth. Or you can't seem to convert people from “loving” your work to BUYING your work. Or you're starting to lose steam + motivation. Or you just have no fucking clue how to market yourself and get the phone ringing. Or, you're exhausted from trading hours for money, and you're looking for ways that you can automate a portion of your income through product creation–and in a way that's creative and doesn't make you feel like a sell-out, or in any way be the same old, same old, overplayed BS. Sound like you?
  4. You can't decide if I'm a genius, or a train wreck waiting to happen. We'll assume the former, of course.

Did I hit the nail on the head? Does any of the above sound like the problems/challenges/struggles you're facing?

So there you are. You're not alone. And that's comforting, right?

Have a nice day. Don't murder any small children. And remember that milk does not do a body good – all it does is clog it up with a bunch of slimy mucus.

That is all.

May 15

2013

On Getting the World to Pay Attention to You

May 15, 2013

I’m pretty sure one of the things on my Top 10 List of Life’s Secret Weapons That Everyone Should Know About Because They Help You Get Ahead Faster Than Everyone Else on the Planet is this: Learning how to make an unforgettable, cannot-be-ignored kind of STATEMENT. This is likely why I favor obnoxious bauble necklaces and blog headers […]

In: Online Marketing

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Nov 30

2011

Seduce Me And I’m Yours. Your Customer, That Is.

Nov 30, 2011

So, I’m a huge salsa fan. The love affair began nearly 10 years ago, when I first traveled to Costa Rica on an exchange program. His name was Alejandro, and he was the first boy to ever ask for my hand on the dance floor. He was golden tan with dark blue eyes, and long […]

In: Online Marketing

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Feb 21

2012

How Being Unapologetic Helps Me–And You–Win At Biz

Feb 21, 2012

First of all, if you want teddy bears, get off this blog. Teddy bears and hand holding is for other people. Here, we’re about fresh ones right across the face. I don’t have time for bullshit, and neither do you.–  Second, if you aren’t going to take the quality of your life seriously, get off […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 11

2011

How Dating Chilean Men Can Help You Succeed In Business. Kind of. And Why Bloody Noses Are Not Okay, Which Is Not Related to The Story At All, But You Should Read About It, Anyway.

Oct 11, 2011

So the other day there was a guy. Isn’t there always a guy? Anyway, the other day there was a guy, and I may or may not have been kissing said guy. Said guy is so attractive, that I’m almost nervous to be kissing him, because, as we all know, when you’re kissing really attractive […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 10

2012

The Day The Cash Register Became Obsolete (WTF?)

Jan 10, 2012

Note:  This post contains adult language. It’s so adult, you might swear you’ve just been transported to a seedy, smoke-laced Las Vegas strip club filled with large Italian men. The good news is that you haven’t. The bad news is that somebody let me have my own blog. And…so we begin. What I want to […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 29

2014

So, People Suck at Talking to Each Other

Oct 29, 2014

People suck at talking to each other. I’ve thought about this post for days now, and turns out? That’s my grand epiphany. My big, profound opening line. As a professional communicator & copywriter, trained linguist, PR expert and author of that filthy blog, “The Middle Finger Project” (my hooligan credentials), I get paid to say […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 19

2012

I Want You. Now.

Jan 19, 2012

…yeah, you. Not so much in the, take-me-to-bed-tiger kind of way (that’s tomorrow. really. just wait.), but in a I-want-to-know-what-you-think kind of way. Not about the ozone. Or how much profanity I use. Or the fact that I apparently suck at responding to emails. (Shhhhhhhhh. I’m getting better!) I want to know what you think […]

In: Online Marketing

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Sep 27

2011

Ditch The Blankie, Grab A Set of Balls + Get Your Life Back on Track

Sep 27, 2011

So, I’ve got a proposition for you. Unfortunately, it does not involve fishnets, vodka, or smeared black eye makeup, and while we’re at it, I should mention it definitely doesn’t involve any of this bleepity bleep bleep bullshit either. Nor will it ever, unless, well…there’s pretty much no exceptions. Though I am rather fond of the idea […]

In: Online Marketing

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

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