ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Definitive, Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Finding Some Focus, And Jump-Starting Your Biz…So You Can Stop Feeling Like an Procrastinating Asshole (And Start Making Some Cashola)

In: Online Marketing

Sometimes I make bad decisions.

The time I decided to consume alcohol while on a date while ON CRUTCHES  was one of those times. (Thanks for not even trying to catch me as my metal crutches went flying, Bob, you scumbag.)

But then there are other times, when my decision-making skills operate at peak performance.

Like the time I went on a man-vacation, and vowed not to date for a year, so I could focus entirely on me and my biz. (Effective, ahem, immediately.) Or…that other time when I spent an afternoon hanging out with some homeless dudes in Philadelphia, telling stories and being human together. (Highly recommended. Especially for those needing to dismount the high horses they were born atop of.)

Yet, I have to say, possibly one of the best decisions I've made this year was in asking you to answer some questions for me.-

I learned so, so much about you. Things like:

  1. You're scared shitless. Welcome to the world of entrepreneurship!
  2. You're aching for a tangible, step-by-step, system or program to take you by the hand and guide you through the process of brainstorming business ideas, knowing how to judge feasibility, coming up with a distinct plan of action, and then walking you through that plan of action–with lots and lots of templates. But you don't know where to start. Or you don't seem to have enough time. Or you're feeling overwhelmed. Or you're scared that you'll pick the wrong thing. Or you think you can't do something that's already been done. Or you falsely believe that you need a bunch of capital to get started. Or you worry you won't be good enough. Or you have no idea what the hell you can even sell. And did I mention that you just don't have enough hours in the day? Sound like you? (If not, see #3)
  3. On the other hand, the rest of you might have had some success in getting your biz off the ground, but now you're having big problems getting clients. Or you have clients, but they aren't paying you what you're worth. Or you can't seem to convert people from “loving” your work to BUYING your work. Or you're starting to lose steam + motivation. Or you just have no fucking clue how to market yourself and get the phone ringing. Or, you're exhausted from trading hours for money, and you're looking for ways that you can automate a portion of your income through product creation–and in a way that's creative and doesn't make you feel like a sell-out, or in any way be the same old, same old, overplayed BS. Sound like you?
  4. You can't decide if I'm a genius, or a train wreck waiting to happen. We'll assume the former, of course.

Did I hit the nail on the head? Does any of the above sound like the problems/challenges/struggles you're facing?

So there you are. You're not alone. And that's comforting, right?

Have a nice day. Don't murder any small children. And remember that milk does not do a body good – all it does is clog it up with a bunch of slimy mucus.

That is all.

Nov 19

2015

What if My Customers Aren’t All the Same? How Do I Appeal to Multiple Targets? It’s called Positioning (And for Once I’m Not Talking About the Kama Sutra)

SELLING YOUR STUFF TO OTHER HUMANS IS HARD. (Caps required.) It’s hard for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is because nobody really knows what to say. We’re all filled with a million different ugly little self-doubts floating around our nervous little brains. What should the headline say? Do I emphasize […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 19

2012

I Want You. Now.

…yeah, you. Not so much in the, take-me-to-bed-tiger kind of way (that’s tomorrow. really. just wait.), but in a I-want-to-know-what-you-think kind of way. Not about the ozone. Or how much profanity I use. Or the fact that I apparently suck at responding to emails. (Shhhhhhhhh. I’m getting better!) I want to know what you think […]

In: Online Marketing

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Apr 20

2017

Own Your Edge

Checking into a hotel can be a nightmare. Long lines. Tourists in hiking shoes. That bald guy pounding a beer. (At least, this was the scholarly scene I witnessed yesterday.) (Just kidding, I rooted him on.)But hotels are reticent to replace humans with technology, because they fear they’ll be sacrificing “the personal touch.” Do you know […]

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Jan 23

2012

Sales Tip of The Year: Don’t Masturbate.

So since I’m in the United States for a hot minute, I have recently acquired a smart phone. I have three things to say about this:– Apparently, I’m better at coding HTML than I am at texting. Considering I have no fucking idea how to code HTML, you can imagine what kind of interesting text […]

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Jan 10

2012

The Day The Cash Register Became Obsolete (WTF?)

Note:  This post contains adult language. It’s so adult, you might swear you’ve just been transported to a seedy, smoke-laced Las Vegas strip club filled with large Italian men. The good news is that you haven’t. The bad news is that somebody let me have my own blog. And…so we begin. What I want to […]

In: Online Marketing

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Feb 19

2014

Are You Peeing In The Sea of Sameness?

I was disgusted. She was the 11th person to pass by trying to peddle the same exact selection of sunglasses that ten other people had peddled just seconds before. “Senorita?” she said, tapping me on the shoulder from behind my table once more. I ignored her once more. She circled around me in case I […]

In: Online Marketing

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