U.S. Concept of Time & Why It’s Preventing You From Finding Your Passions

Here in the U.S., we’re all about go-go-go. It’s a fast paced lifestyle, and if you don’t keep ahead you’ll soon be left behind. It’s a race to the finish. It’s the survival of the fittest. It is time-is-money, and the early bird gets the worm.

Time, in essence, is a something we regard as a finite resource that we feel we can capture, control and manipulate. Just look at all of the ways we express time in the English language:

We save time.

We find time.

We lose time.

We spend time.

We make time.

We’re out of time.

We kill time.

We crave time.

We try to get there on time.

We may arrive in the nick of time.

We wish to turn back the hands of time.

We think many things are a waste of time.

And it’s rare that we have too much time on our hands.

We can label things ahead of one’s time.

While others are frowned upon as being behind the times.

We bide our time, keep time, & are pressed for time.

Our attitude toward time as a tangible resource is unarguably apparent. And because of this attitude, we’re constantly engaged in a never ending battle to mold, shape and bend time to our will. We view it as a limited entity, and therefore have to speed up our lives in order to fit it within time’s confines.

Because of this mind-set, we’ve evolved into a society of do-ers, where action is applauded, and anything less regarded as lazy, unmotivated and weak.

And while there’s undeniably a certain value in that approach–specifically in terms of productivity–it’s worth noting that oftentimes, being constantly “productive” produces a numbing effect, in which we end up on autopilot, mindlessly moving from one obligation to the next to the next and to the next.

The upside to that is, of course, that we obtain many of the things we set out to get. On the other hand, however, because we’re always on the move, we don’t often get the chance to reflect on whether or not the things we’re setting out to get are actually the things we want. As a result, we end up in a fruitless civil war with ourselves, constantly productive, yet never producing.

Time & Passions

On a related note, I receive a fair amount of emails that ask “How do I find my passion? I can’t follow my passion until I know what it is.“ That’s very true, and it’s my contention that it’s impossible to figure it all out until we allow ourselves the time to do so. Between rushing to get this done, clamoring to get that done & feeling stressed in between, it’s difficult to be able to sit back, do a little reflecting and get involved in activities that might help to carve some of those passions out.

What’s needed is time to do so. This may be obvious, but I notice a tendency to think that one’s passions are just going to develop over night, or somehow just be born and arrive at your doorstep, à la stork.

But passions don’t just appear; you’ve got to allow yourself the time to get out there and find them. They don’t passively occur or spontaneously combust–you’ve got to open your arms wide, step out into the sunlight, and take the world by storm.

You’ve got to hunt them down.

Life is a safari, and even though you might have to stop hunting along the way to take care of necessary items such as sleeping, going to the bathroom, or eating bugs for protein, those things can’t derail you from your true quest. After all, you want a wildebeest! And wildebeests aren’t just going to come wandering up to your tent saying, “Oh hey. Here I am. What’s for dinner?”

Although that’d be really, really awesome.

But no. You’ve got to take the time to saddle up and work your lasso.
And it’s the same with your passions.

Don’t let the whirlwind of daily routine distract from the real goal at hand. If you want to find your passion, you’ve got to make it a priority. Literally, you’ve got to build time into your schedule to explore yourself and explore the world that surrounds you. Do some reading. Find resources that can help you figure it out.

If you haven’t had the time to try something you’ve been wanting to try, how will you ever know that you actually love it? If I hadn’t taken the 6 months to travel for the first time when I was 19, how would I ever have known how much I would love it? I wouldn’t have. I might have had a vague idea of how cool it could be, but it wouldn’t have developed into an aching (aching!) passion.

If you want to find your passion, time is of the essence. In this case, time is not a luxury; time is mandatory. And if we’re going to attempt to bend time to our will, as we do in this culture, then we might as well be bending it favorably.

You are in control of your time–no one else. Start using it to your advantage. Hell, my friend Everett insists on working only 2 hours a day. You can check out what he does here, but he absolutely controls what he does with his time–no one else.

So when you do make time to get out there on your safari? Two words: Hakuna Matata, baby!

Okay, so that was three.

But oh well. Because my time here? Is now up.

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http://aletaandandy.wordpress.com/ Aleta Fullenwider

I decided to train for a marathon a year ago. Due to the time it took to run, lift weights, cross train, do laundry (cause all those workout outfits gotta be washed sometime), I had to stop doing other things. I chose to stop doing things I didn’t enjoy or do less of things.

It was wonderful to concentrate on one goal! If I didn’t want to go to happy hour or shopping or whatever, I had a great excuse. But after the marathon, I’ve been writing huge “To do” lists for the weekend. By the time Monday rolls around, I’m exhausted. I can’t go back to concentrating on one goal but at the same time, I can’t sacrifice my precious time trying to do everything. It’s finding that balance that is really hard.
sethmbaker

Hello Ashley,
Great post. I'd like to add a little something. It's great to set aside time to find and develop your passion, but I believe you also need a lot of patience; it's great to set aside time, but in my experience people have to be prepared for a lot of struggle in the early stages.

With any new activity, there's a considerable learning curve. The first stages are often the soul-crushingly hardest. But if you are patient with yourself, if you can work through those early stages and increase your skill levels, then identifying your passion becomes that much easier.

Keep up the wonderful work!

TMFproject

@SethBaker
Fantastic point–so glad you came by and mentioned that. Learning curves ALWAYS exist! Though, I think the difference between someone who's successful in their endeavors versus someone who isn't, is their ability to appreciate and enjoy the learning curve for what it is, versus just trying to get past it and onto bigger and better. But you're absolutely right–learning curves can't be ignored.

Appreciate you taking the time to comment, Seth! Rock on, friend!

http://www.OptimisticJourney.com/ Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey

Great post Ashley! I'm glad I stumbled upon your site. I definitely need to re-evaluate my concept of time. You've reminded me and reaffirmed to me that yes I am under the U.S. concept of time. This is life changing information and I thank you for sharing!!

TMFproject

@Jarrod
Hey there! Welcome to the site!

As a few super rad people have said before, reality. is. negotiable. So much truth in that statement that we don't even recognize.

Happy to connect with you here! Thanks for your comment.

http://www.Escapingthe9to5.com/ Maren Kate

Time's in the eye of the beekeeper (beholder?) but seriously… Time is completely relative and completely set in the same breath… we can get a ton done with 2 hours and have a whole day to play or we can get nothing done in 12 and be miserable… all depends on how you perceive the time around you – whether you see time as your tool or as a race against the clock. Great post tiger!

TMFproject

@Maren
You are the second person to refer to me as “tiger!” Is there something noticeably stripey about my appearance that I'm not aware of? :p Ha. What you said here about time being both relative and fixed at the same time is a great point. You're right; we do have only so much time in a day–which is actually nothing more than the mere cycle from dark to light, actually–but how we view & conceptualize that margin of time we're given is entirely relative. Breaking it up into 60 minute chunks is entirely arbitrary, if you think about it. And if it's arbitrary, then that means we can play with it a little, right?

Thanks for the comment, my dear! P.S. Can I just mention here that everytime I see your avatar, I'm all like, “Awww. She's so pretty.” Love it.

http://GetYourBizSavvy.com/ GetYourBizSavvy

“you want a wildebeest!” I love it! Make time for your passion. I think you hit it perfectly. If someone really is passionate about something, they'll find out, but they have to be willing to spend the time.

TMFproject

@GetYourBizSavvy
I think I totally just wanted to use the word “wildebeest.”

http://twitter.com/mike_key Michael Key

This blog took to much time to read.

TMFproject

@Mike
Don't read it then, love.

http://www.reachourdreams.com/ Jen

I have slowed my life down so much in the last few years which is great but even then society's little voice sometimes pops in my head asking me if I am 'doing' enough … I have to remind myself that life isn't all about doing and much more about being. I really like what you said about ensuring we have time time to find our passion and try new experiences. I think there is a myth that it just lands on our lap sometimes!

TMFproject

@Jen
We all have that little voice, girlfriend. While we're conscious of the fact, sometimes being the only one doing something (or thinking in a certain way) can cause moments of self-doubt. And whether our line of thinking is in order or not…eventually, we've got to be confident that we'll get it all figured out. That said…sounds like your little voice is very wise!

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http://www.looyjee.com/ Looy Jee

In any case, the modes of expression against time are the same in Italy.
I myself have said some of those example sentences written in bold (in Italian of course). I live in Rome is not like a U.S. city, however, is a very hectic city. Here too, the time thus plays a decisive role.

TMFproject

@Looy
Interesting! Great to hear how time is conceptualized in other cultures. I wouldn't have guessed that Rome would be on par. Thanks for the valuable insight.

http://maternal-dementia.com/ MDTaz

And let's say my passion is to be able to do nothing, without guilt…then it's a win/win, letting go the compulsiveness about time.

TMFproject

@MDTaz
Letting go of the compulsiveness about time is always a win/win. Nothing is more important than the quality of your life.

ericsega

love it….

TMFproject

@EricSega
That's just because I used to live around the corner from you as kids. :p

http://www.danceproof.com/ dancePROOF

Great post. Great idea. This post reminded me of how places like Italy, make it a common thing to close shop for lunch to enjoy life.

TMFproject

@DanceProof
Hmmmm. I think I'm going to start telling everyone not to contact me between the hours of 1-3 because I'll be napping. What's to prevent me from implementing this mentality anywhere I am?

http://www.wanderingearl.com/ Earl

You've got to hunt them down indeed. I took my first overseas trip at age 21 despite none of my friends wanting to join me and none of my family supporting my decision to go away for a few months. But I knew that the 'real world' could wait and now, because of that decision to spend time focusing on the exploration of passions, I've created a life out of what I love to do best.

Although, I might drop everything and dedicate the rest of my life to finding a talking wildebeest.That would be more than awesome.

TMFproject

@Earl
Can I join you on the Wildebeest hunt? C'mon–haven't you ever seen The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe? Totally plausible!

In addition–what you said about the real world waiting is mega important. I think everyone's under the impression that if they don't do x, y, and z now, now, now, now and in THIS order, then their chance will be lost forever and they'll fall behind and the world will be a big, scary place. This is so no true. Hell, when I'm 40 I'll probably decide to become a dolphin trainer. What the hell, right? The only thing that's probably an exception is modeling. :p I like Corona too much, anyway.

http://www.bravenewlife.com/ Brave New Life

I had a realization a few months ago that changed my life. I realized that time is a limited resource. Duh, sounds obvious, right? But as you bust your ass working 9-5 (or 7-7 in my case) at a job you hate to buy crap you don't need (or just save the money, in my case), you are throwing away your most precious asset: TIME!

One of my new purposes in life is to share the obvious truth with as many people as possible. When my time is up, I want to know I maximized my life.

TMFproject

@BraveNewLife
Right on, rockstar! I agree completely. There are only so many hours in a day, so many hours in a week, so many hours in a month, a year and, ultimately your life. Use them wisely. Or don't, and be really, really bitter later.

simpleinfrance

I've come to consider time as one of the most precious commodities ever. Really, I think that comes from the super fast paced life I used to live. Slowing down has been an excellent thing for me. It's amazing how easy it is to find passions when you're not dolling out your time in minutes from work, to errands, to chores and then crashing exhausted in front of the boob tube.

And, thinking back to your 'dream zappers' post, one of the things people often 'zap' me for in my lifestyle is my use of time. I'm not currently working and people think that I'll be bored or won't know what to do with myself. Can you imagine it? Hello!? Like I can't think of about 100,000 better things to do than working when given the chance. I'm good in that department, I think.

TMFproject

@simpleinfrance

I just love your comments. There, I said it.

If anything, people are probably very envious of your free time, because even if they wanted to, many can't allow themselves the same luxury, and for the same reasons that I outlined above: Guilt. The person that is able to step outside of the arbitrary demands and expectations, such as be-a-work-horse-or-else-you-are-useless, and decide for themselves what they agree with and don't agree with (and then align their lives with those decisions) are the ones who are going to be happiest. Simple.

As long as you're able to make a living for yourself, I don't see the issue.

http://twitter.com/BobbySoFamous BobbySoFamous

I run into this problem you talk about. I get really into something for like 2 weeks, then I get all ADD and bored of it. I feel like I can't have a passion because of this quality I have. If only I had a wildebeest that called me 'yo'.

TMFproject

@BobbySoFamous
Don't all wildebeest's talk like that?

What about your ninja moves? Or your YouTube channel? Could have fooled me, but in the times we've talked, you've seemed pretty passionate about those things.

Then again…maybe you should just pick up and go to Mozambique for a few months. Then you'll REALLY learn some ninja moves.

mskarenau

Oh dear, isn't it such a plague to think that “time is money”? You're so right – in terms of productivity, it's quite helpful to make use of our time wisely; however, if we just go-go-go without giving ourselves time to THINK and consolidate, then what's all that productivity for?

It's the same problem up here in the Greater Toronto Area too, and it's just the same in Hong Kong. Everyone's just busy busy busy, and don't take the time to think about whether what they're doing is aligned with their passions. It's too scary for some, and too confusing for others, to even consider. And most just simply feel trapped. But what I've realized recently (and I think you read my blog post on this) is that we don't have to race against time. That's not the point of living life to the fullest. Time is ours to manage. We can prioritize, we have CHOICE.

I'm glad you yourself feel so empowered to make choices for yourself, and in turn are inspiring and empowering others to do the same. Keep on, girl!

TMFproject

@MsKarenAu
YES–everyone should pop over and read your post.

It's depressing to imagine other parts of the world encountering the same problem. When we aren't constantly busy, we feel guilty, so in a way I suppose we'd rather be stressed than feel guilt. But in reality, it shouldn't be one or the other—the guilt is so not justified. I've said it before and I'll say it again–we are humans, not robots. We've got to treat ourselves as such.

http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

“constantly productive, yet never producing”

Gold.

I'm going back to my 2 hours per day rule: two hours work driving towards a set goal is enough work for the day. The rest of the always gets eaten by, say, email. Bah.

TMFproject

@Dave Doolin
Email can be the bane of everyone's existence. I'm just now learning how much of a time zap it is to continually check, check and check. I'm liking your line of thinking with the 2 hour rule!

http://www.thewaythatyouwander.com/ Nate

Yes yes yes. Taking time to figure out exactly what you are passionate about and what makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning is critically important. I can't imagine waking up one day when I'm older and wondering what I'm really doing, and what I've really been spending (wasting) my time doing; and if it was all worth it. The time to live is now. And I love that you managed to squeeze “hakuna matata” into this post.

TMFproject

@Nate
Hakuna Matata needs to be incorporated into more blog posts, if for no other reason than it's fun to say. :p

I'm already waking up out of bed–older and older everyday–and I can only be grateful that up until this point, I've been fortunate to be proud of the things I've accomplished and am in the process of accomplishing. If we can't say that, then what the hell are we doing?

You rock, bro. Like it even needs to be said.

http://nifermusings.blogspot.com/ Jen

This couldn't be more true! I don't think I would have figured out half of what I've figured out without those dazing into space on the couch moments! Now, at this pivotal point in my life, I need to take MORE time to really figure out how my passions are directing my next steps.

Have a great weekend, lady!

TMFproject

@Jen
It's so true–some of my most valuable ideas tend to come to me when I'm in the car, with the music off, on long road trips. It gives me the time to just be with myself, and do nothing other than think, examine, analyze and make decisions on what I think relative to an idea. I literally have to carry a notebook around with me when I'm in the car, because I can't tell you the number of times I've got burned for not having one..and then not being able to remember what awesome thought I had at the time.

Cheers!

Lisa

Ashley, the early bird may get the worm, but just remember that it's the second mouse that gets the cheese!

TMFproject

@Lisa
Haha–excellent. I'm going to have to incorporate this into my list of useful phrases. :p

http://www.Escapingthe9to5.com/ Maren Kate

I like this so much! I was just talking about how time management blows and how it ruins actually doing stuff for kicks or following your passion… really everyone has 24 hours regardless of how they spend it.

TMFproject

@Maren
I'm so going to have to turn this comment into a new personal motto or something–”Living life one kick at a time?” No, then people will think I'm a ninja master. How about, “Ashley Ambirge: Doing Stuff For Kicks” No, now I sound like a restaurant, or a cereal brand. Ha ha! I'll have to work on this. :p

Regardless, your point is oh-so-well taken, and so true. Time management is touted as a good thing, and in some instances, it can be….but when it comes to embracing the free spirit inside, it's really, really, really stifling.

Cheers to spending a greater percentage of the 24 doing stuff for kicks!

And thanks for dropping by.

http://joshuahitchcock.wordpress.com/ Joshua @ H2BA

Gotta agree with ya Ash. I've been doing some thinking and writing about the concept of time and how it relates to success and what it comes back to is that time is just another tool at our disposal in our journey through life. How it affects our lives is defined to the extent that we perceive it.

TMFproject

@Joshua
Time can be a tool, if we know how to use it properly. Otherwise, when mismanaged, it's an enemy. But you said it best here with, “How it affects our lives is defined to the extent that we perceive it.” This speaks to a cognitive approach that emphasizes the human experience as being the fundamental dictator of our realities. And I think that holds a lot of water.

Thanks for the comment, Josh!

michelenicholls

Alternateively, if you take the time to just be, instead of rushing around hunting for it, it'll probably come up and smack you in the back of the head, cos it's chasing you! Chill, folks, it'll find you if you let it ;o)

TMFproject

@michelenicholls
It's so rare that we allow ourselves to just be. I had a good friend who got into yoga, and that was one of her reasons–she said that it showed her how to simply just be, without having to be constantly doing doing doing something. And even if we allow ourselves the time to just be, oftentimes it leads to feelings of guilt. And this is one thing I'd really love to help eradicate. We are human beings, not robots.

Thank you for your comment, Michele! And welcome.

michelenicholls

My pleasure – some of these lessons I'm learning late in life, but i'm getting alot of help from you brilliant youngsters ;oD

http://www.fearlessendeavors.com/ Nate

Michele…this is just great! You're absolutely right. Too many people transition the doing into finding a passion instead of being. Now, I absolutely think you have to try new things out, but before that, it might be good to just sit back and be…whether it be through meditation or some other channel. It is really hard to understand because of the paradox, but by non-doing we might actually discover that the passions and creativity comes to us instead of us constantly searching it out. Wonderful, wonderful insight here!

michelenicholls

I've learnt by many years of (often painful!) experience, that successful 'doing' comes from honest 'being'. If you allow yourself to honestly be yourself, you don't have to think about what you're going to take action on, it simply becomes inevitable – you can't do anything else!

http://benmoreno.net/ Ben Moreno

Ashley,

Have you ever watched this documentary on time? I just watched this the other day.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/time/

It is very interesting stuff.

TMFproject

@Ben
NO, but now you've given me something to do Sunday night in my PJ's! Thanks for the link, Ben!

http://benmoreno.net/ Ben Moreno

You are most welcome

cameronplommer

Experience is the key to finding your passion. So true, but not always obvious. If you don't know what you want to major in at college, there's a reason why people say to try a lot of stuff out. A freshman has no idea what the world has to offer.

Until I discovered the blogosphere, by taking the time, I would have never known how much I really love to write. Now writing is a huge part of my life. Its how I make sense of things.

The reason I found the blogosphere was because I was working at an internship that had no where near 40 hours of work for me to do. So I looked else where for inspiration. That internship was a good experience for me because it showed me what I was not passionate in: cubicle life-style, government structure, endless meetings, etc. So I moved on with the help of the blogosphere to find possible paths that I might enjoy.

For me blogs are great tools for peering into a new world that you never knew existed. This is the first step to discovering what you are truly passionate about.

TMFproject

@cameron
Words of the wise! Wish I could tweet out this whole comment. It always used to flat out baffle me that young people were expected to just randomly pick a major based off of virtually nothing, and then spend the rest of their life doing that. It's actually ludicrous to stop and consider that.

Experience IS the key to finding your passion. You can't like something you've never tried. And how do you get experience? You make the time to go get it. Yes, yes and yes.

Appreciate you stopping by to comment! Welcome, welcome!
http://www.BeAwesomeOnline.com Catherine Caine

That's exactly what I was going to say! (Well, not -exactly-. I would have used different words and not talked about my internship, but you know what I mean.)

It changed my life when I realised that my passions didn't find me, I had to go find them. And there they were!
http://www.solitarypanda.com floreta

Blogging helped me realize my passion for writing as well! I've always liked to write but never called myself a “writer”. I was intimidated by such a title. Then, I got into blogging and realized not only can I write, I can write poetry too! This blew my mind. Now I'm proud to call myself a writer. Heck yeah!!

veron

Ashley…Yeah, Its so easy to focus on the tip of the iceburg, and not recognize that there is a huge mountain of buildup that led to that moment…that revelation. I can really relate to this undervalued perspective on time. Very well said!

It wasn't until I decided to leave my job over a year ago(not w/out a few sacrifices), and figure out a way to spend time doing things that mattered, did I completely resolve that creativity(i.e writing) had to be a large part of what I did.

I sort of rediscovered a creative side that had become lost in various corporate jobs, or for profit ideas. And it took an intentional, almost gut like instinct to stop the madness, and take the TIME to intentionally figure somethings out. This sort of clarity then gives us the testicular fortitude(I've always wanted to say that) to say NO to other good paths, and stay focused on what is right….who we really now know ourselves to be.

P.S that 1% is on the hot seat You articulate this stuff really well…

TMFproject

@veron
Testicular fortitude! That just made my day, for the record.

You're so on the money with this–It's not that we don't have the time; it's that others demand so much of it that we're left with just the bare minimums to do whatever it is we need to do, and none left over for good, old-fashioned thinking and reflection. I think it's really underrated in terms of its importance.

P.S. I'm grateful for the 99%!!! But thank you so, so much for the compliment. Yeah!

http://www.solitarypanda.com floreta

i have many passions. i guess my problem is how to harness that into a career/job that works. must. not. succumb. to. the. 9. to. 5.

TMFproject

@floreta
You totally got this. And you're ahead of the game for having some already outlined for yourself! High five girl. What are they?

http://www.solitarypanda.com floreta

blogging, and consequently writing, for sure. Does it have money making potential? Maybe. I'd like to think so. But I dream big! (Thanks for the encouragement with my blog, btw)

I guess I have a PASSION for discovering, learning, exploring new things, which consequently, has made me a traveler. Always loved culture and sociology/anthropology; I've even considered going back to school for.. an anthropology degree! Even though that has nothing to do with my design degree.

A passion for all things art. Music (I play guitar and violin), drawing, painting, graphic design, web design, etc. I think creativity feeds the soul!

Actually, I have a Mother Theresa-ish idea that involves all three. Who knows if I'll do it.. For now I'm letting it sizzle. Brainstorming..

homsic4ph

Ashley, once again you nailed it! I love how you draw the concept of time and the U.S. together. If you never had travelled one would never know that most of the world does not live like us, or understand us for that matter. When we (Americans) look at the world we look through the American filter that has been superimposed on our eyes. Time stands still in third world countries and it is amazing to experience it. We have been trained to be so impatient that the smallest bit of delay makes us wet our pants! Oh, yeah, BTW, your writing rocks!

TMFproject

@homsic4ph
Couldn't have said it better myself. We all operate through our own respective cultural lens, whether it's apparent to us or not. I've said it before, I'll say it now, and surely I'll say it again: Travel changes you, and it's all for the better. It's the best educational experience because it truly does stretch your mind, your reality and your expectations. And in that alone, it's 1000x worth its cost.

Thanks for stopping to comment! And thanks for the kind words about the writing. *blush*