The Blog

Oct 30

2018

For My People-Pleasing Babes Running Themselves Ragged (In Which The Phrase “Suck an Eggplant” Totally Makes an Appearance)

There’s a dirty little question I’ve been asking myself a lot, lately—and some might condemn me for it. In fact, this question is so controversial, I suspect 50% of the population may show up at the door with axes and sledgehammers, knives and crowbars. It is not a very Christian thing to think—then again, I’ve […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 19

2018

Make 50% of the Population Hate You

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 17

2018

We Need You to Give Yourself the Job

Today I will drive twenty six miles on backroads, through crisp autumn air, past dairy farms and old Citgo stations, and up a giant hill to my alma mater, Blue Ridge High School, here in rural Pennsylvania. I’m speaking to a group of seniors. Hijacking their last class of the day as I hoist myself […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Sep 26

2018

How to Introduce Yourself at a Dinner Party Like a Cool-As-A-Cucumber BALLER

“So, what do you do?” These are the words WE ALL DREAD, FAM. Even professional communicators—cough cough—who work online and write inappropriate blog posts and whose job titles can’t easily be corralled onto some adorable fucktard pin. This past week, however, I had the opportunity to reflect on the personal intro more than ever when I found myself at not […]

In: Communication Skills

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Sep 10

2018

Know Who Your Haters Are

Tiffany’s doesn’t try to sell diamonds to a sixteen-year-old girl. Nor are they offended, nor worried, when teens aren’t flocking to their stores. Tiffany’s knows that sixteen-year-old girls most definitely aren’t their market. And I also imagine that, were a sixteen-year-old girl to proclaim that Tiffany’s sucks absolute DONKEY BALLS, they wouldn’t take it to […]

In: Online Marketing

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