The Blog

Jun 19

2021

Writing, Houses & Hot Dogs: A Love Story

Jun 19, 2021

There were greasy hot dogs on the counter. Four of them. Naked and un-bunned, flopping around inside a glass Tupperware dish for all the world to see. I had many questions, including “are these for sale” and also “where are the onions,” but perhaps the biggest question I had was: WHO PUTS HOT DOGS IN […]

In: Creative Writing, Redefining Success

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May 27

2021

On Not Thinking With Your Cultural Crotch

May 27, 2021

I fantasize about pugs. Not the way other people fantasize about pugs, mind you—nuzzling them and squeezing them and squealing “oooohhhhhhh!!!!” before scooping them up in their arms for a welcoming, wet kiss (what is wrong with people). Rather, I want to put their tiny little gargoyle heads straight into a vise. (I thought about […]

In: Society & Culture, Unconventional Decisions

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Apr 16

2021

16 Words That’ll Help You Defeat Refund Bullies Over the Phone 💪 📞

Apr 16, 2021

I hate phone calls. In fact, there are fewer things I hate than when my phone rings. The first thought: WHO DARES…HAVE THE NERVE…TO CALL…UNINVITED?!? It’s basically the modern equivalent of dropping in on someone unannounced—especially if it’s a video call. Quick, hide the mannequin! Hide the hamburgers! Hide MY ENTIRE FACE! (Oh, you don’t […]

In: Client Scripts and Templates, Communication Skills

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Mar 24

2021

How I Got an Interview On The Today Show!!!

Mar 24, 2021

My first thought was: OHHHH, SHIIIITTTTTT. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I should’ve been thrilled, but instead, I was worried about—ready for this?—the wallpaper. “They aren’t even going to see the wall,” C tried to assure me. “Just your beautiful, beaming face.” “Yeah, my beautiful, beaming face…inside what looks like a prison cell! What kind […]

In: Online Marketing, Publicity

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Mar 22

2021

“But How Do I Get Exposure for My Little Biz?!” <--I'm Revealing the Secret. Not THAT Secret.

Mar 22, 2021

I’m dying right now. DYINNGGGGG. My college friend, Andee—a (hilarious) running coach for desk-potato entrepreneurs who need to get off their ass (*raises hand sheepishly*)—just texted me a link, right? And here’s the freakin’ preview: Um, WE KNOW THAT GIRL! That was young, naive 2009 Ash—a previous version of myself that, apparently, used to look […]

In: Online Marketing, Publicity

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