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SWEATY ARMPIT ALERT: 67% of the people that were about to give you money…don’t.

Ever think you’ve got Alzheimer’s, or am I the only asshole running around forgetting the word “lollipop?” Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than forgetting the word “lollipop” in front of a stranger. It’s not like it’s some academic word one could be forgiven for forgetting, like idiosyncrasy—which I feel like is forgivable. I […]

In: Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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One word might be costing you thousands of dollars. What is it?

“What do you own?” he asked her. “I own lots of things,” she replied, before going on to stumble through a list: Her car, her favorite Gucci purse, a timeshare in Mexico, her 300,000 count Egyptian cotton bedsheets. “No you don’t,” he said calmly. “Yes I–” she started. “You don’t own any of those things, because […]

In: Marketing, Writing,

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You’re always going to have fifty million things to do—PLUS that asshole’s bar mitzvah.

There’s a lot of pressure these days to be perfect. (Says the girl carrying thirty extra pounds and a dysfunctional pouty face.) As someone who used to be very all-or-nothing, over the years I’ve had to make some major peace with the fact that all-or-nothing is a gigantic, sweaty faced fool’s errand. :: How many times have you thought about […]

In: Business 101, Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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Clear vs Clever Copywriting is a Big, Fat, Bloated Myth (And a Scapegoat for Subpar Writers)

I’m a very dirty writer. Not Fifty Shades of Grey dirty, but dirty in the way that I put sentences, thoughts, ideas together. My process is wild. Sexy. Free. Undomesticated. And while I wish the reason were because I’m just such a clay-faced, crochet-bra-top-wearing, sun-worshipping bohemian soul (I am laughably not), rather, it’s because I […]

In: Marketing, Writing,

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Repeat After Me: You Are Not Your Buyer

It’s two days before the new year, and I’m doing exactly what you are: Dicking around on the internet and calling it “downtime.” It’s absolutely PHENOMENAL. But, as we all prepare to become supermodel [extra title=”Isn’t that your plan?” info=”tooltip” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover”]trazillionaire cigar-smoking business moguls in 2015, [/extra] there is one thing I want to encourage […]

In: Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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So, People Suck at Talking to Each Other

People suck at talking to each other. I’ve thought about this post for days now, and turns out? That’s my grand epiphany. My big, profound opening line. As a professional communicator & copywriter, trained linguist, PR expert and author of that filthy blog, “The Middle Finger Project” (my hooligan credentials), I get paid to say […]

In: Marketing,

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If You’re Not Dangerous, Get Out.

If you’re not dangerous, we don’t want to work with you. You might have the qualifications. Hell, you might have gone to Harvard. Maybe you’re perfectly competent. Step it up. Competence doesn’t demand that anyone notice you, wonder about you, or care about you.  Nobody ever won an award for hitting a deadline on time. We want […]

In: Marketing,

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