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SWEATY ARMPIT ALERT: 67% of the people that were about to give you money…don’t.

Ever think you’ve got Alzheimer’s, or am I the only asshole running around forgetting the word “lollipop?” Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than forgetting the word “lollipop” in front of a stranger. It’s not like it’s some academic word one could be forgiven for forgetting, like idiosyncrasy—which I feel like is forgivable. I […]

In: Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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One word might be costing you thousands of dollars. What is it?

“What do you own?” he asked her. “I own lots of things,” she replied, before going on to stumble through a list: Her car, her favorite Gucci purse, a timeshare in Mexico, her 300,000 count Egyptian cotton bedsheets. “No you don’t,” he said calmly. “Yes I–” she started. “You don’t own any of those things, because […]

In: Marketing, Writing,

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You’re always going to have fifty million things to do—PLUS that asshole’s bar mitzvah.

There’s a lot of pressure these days to be perfect. (Says the girl carrying thirty extra pounds and a dysfunctional pouty face.) As someone who used to be very all-or-nothing, over the years I’ve had to make some major peace with the fact that all-or-nothing is a gigantic, sweaty faced fool’s errand. :: How many times have you thought about […]

In: Business 101, Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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Starting a Business Isn’t for Weak People, Shitty People, Irresponsible People, Undisciplined People, Stupid People, Forgetful People, Lazy People, Irrational People, Impatient People, or People Who Blame Everything on Obama.

Nearly ten years ago when I started my first copywriting business, I struggled with the things most new business owners struggle with: Telling a client your fees while silently thinking shitshitshitshitshitshitshit! Having no idea if your fees are too high or too low or WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO BE CHARGING?! Constantly worried […]

In: Selling, Writing,

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Clear vs Clever Copywriting is a Big, Fat, Bloated Myth (And a Scapegoat for Subpar Writers)

I’m a very dirty writer. Not Fifty Shades of Grey dirty, but dirty in the way that I put sentences, thoughts, ideas together. My process is wild. Sexy. Free. Undomesticated. And while I wish the reason were because I’m just such a clay-faced, crochet-bra-top-wearing, sun-worshipping bohemian soul (I am laughably not), rather, it’s because I […]

In: Marketing, Writing,

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Repeat After Me: You Are Not Your Buyer

It’s two days before the new year, and I’m doing exactly what you are: Dicking around on the internet and calling it “downtime.” It’s absolutely PHENOMENAL. But, as we all prepare to become supermodel [extra title=”Isn’t that your plan?” info=”tooltip” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover”]trazillionaire cigar-smoking business moguls in 2015, [/extra] there is one thing I want to encourage […]

In: Marketing, Selling, Writing,

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FREE DOWNLOAD: 30 Holiday Script Templates for Handling All Those Business Heachaches That Pop Up When You Really Just Want to be Drinking Peppermint Schnapps

So this morning I’m sitting here going about my business, writing up a storm, guzzling coffee, and otherwise trying not to be mad that it’s sunny and 90 degrees where I am in Costa Rica when ALL I WANT IS SNOW FOR THE HOLIDAYS. Nevertheless, I know what constitutes a realistic ask, and snow in […]

In: Writing,

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Creativity Zapped? Try This Madman Trick.

So I have this theory about creativity. First of all, it drinks bourbon, neat. And second of all, it’s hungry.  Hungry like the kind of hungry you get when you only had a dinky little grapefruit for breakfast. (Which doesn’t even count since you need the jaws of life to extract anything out of those […]

In: Writing,

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23 Phrases Every Stressed Out, Strung Out, Well-Meaning (Yet Irritable) Business Owner Needs to Memorize TODAY.

Being able to elegantly SAY WHAT YOU MEAN isn’t always an easy task— —particularly when you’re too busy for petty sh*t like showers, your stress hormones are being IV dripped into your veins at the rate of a class five river rapid, your head is doing Beetlejuice-style 360s as you juggle fourteen and a half clients (and their really cute idiosyncrasies—wink), […]

In: Writing,

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