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How to Sell Anything In One Paragraph Or Less

What if I told you I could sell anything in one paragraph or less? (Stop glancing skeptically at the screen. I can see up your nose.) You know what kind of paragraph I’m talking about–the sorely neglected, overlooked and undervalued product description. *cue tambourine and this song* Product descriptions have the power to make or […]

In: Writing,

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Take Your Lazy Sentences And Piss Off. Politely.

Lazy sentences BOTHER ME. They bother me because it’s not really the sentence being lazy–it’s the person who wrote it. And if that person happens to be a business owner who’s trying to convince me to spend my hard-earned, sweat-soaked, time-drenched money with them? They better demonstrate that they actually WANT MY BUSINESS. Want it […]

In: Writing,

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Sell More Stuff: Your Words Need to Repre-Fucking-Sent.

I’m going to tell you a little secret. It’s not a dirty little secret, but it might as well be. The secret is this: The key to selling your stuff? Isn’t about the size of your list. (That’s what she said.) In fact, it isn’t about a lot of the things you’re worried that it […]

In: Writing,

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How to Make The World Give a Shit About You

::  When I first started having sex, I worried I wouldn’t be sexy enough–and that I’d be a sore disappointment. ::  When I worked in advertising sales, the first time I ever had to do a nation-wide cold-calling contest…I was so wracked with nerves, I sat at my desk shaking, sipping vodka from a thermos. […]

In: Writing,

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