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I Hate Monday: Edition #13

In: I Hate Monday,

Welcome to I Hate Monday, a list of my favorite must-know recommendations, finds and other delightfully unproductive things. Because it is Monday after all. What else would you rather be doing?

  1. I’ve always said that we were all a bunch of fools for not taking more advantage of the library. Do we realize there’s this place we can go to learn about anything we ever wanted to know? You could be a bazillionaire by now, had you read a few more books! (Or maybe Gandhi. YOU COULD BE GANDHI, YOU GUYS.) The good news: Now there’s this thing called the internet that lets us leech everybody else’s wisdom and—dirty word alert—learn…right from the comfort at home. Take a class on pitching yourself from Barbara on Sharktank. Learn how to kill it with email marketing straight from the horse’s mouth, AKA Mailchimp. Finally figure out what the hell a brand really is—and how you can build yours, once and for all.
  2. This quote from Laura:

    “It’s not that I care what you think of me so much as OKAY FINE I CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME. I don’t have comments on the blog because fuck that – there isn’t a “feedback box” under paintings in a gallery, or in a teacher’s classroom, or on our parents’ Christmas card, so I’m not playing that game with writing. My only job is to tell stories, and who reads them and what they think is none of my business.”

  3. This is officially my favorite candle company. With candle names like “Cancelled Vacation,” “Defriend,” and “Freshly Signed Divorce Papers,” this is a company who’s clearly taken my advice on adding personality to your business. 🙂
  4. Damn delighted to be listed as a top 100 website for writers in 2016. GRAB YOUR MOLESKINE AND LET’S DO THIS THING. (Out of context that sounds like a very inappropriate joke.)
  5. Look, I don’t mean to be judgy. I’m really not judgy! (Unless you’re wearing those neon patterned schizophrenic spandex pants that seem to be popular these days…WHY ARE THESE POPULAR?) But the truth is that we should probably sit down with a nice glass of bourbon and talk about the fact that the phrase is “for all intents and purposes”—not “for all intensive purposes.” Ditto “dog-eat-dog world”—not “doggie dog world”). And to get you started, this website is an encyclopedia full of fun examples…and commentary. ?
  6. You know that godawful Experian credit report you’ve been paying for every month because you think you need, but then you never really check, but then you’re trying to be a responsible adult, but then you really do need? Or how about the Hulu account you stopped using two years ago, or the apartment renter’s insurance from the apartment you lived in…last year? (I’ll leave porn out of this.) I recently came across this company that links up to your CC’s, scans them with an algorithm, and then comes to you with a list of all of your recurring subscriptions…and asks you which ones you want to cancel. Then? It cancels them for you. Because for the love of god, we could all use an assistant like this.
  7. Sooooooo *scratches neck*…have you seen Facebook’s new Canvas feature? It lets you create a scrolley, parallax-looking, mini magazine-layout for any of your products…before asking for the click. In other words, visuals are HOT, and now Facebook’s helping you look at least 487,081% more professional…and up the ante, even if you aren’t a designer. 🙂  (I’ll be sure to try this one night when I can’t sleep after drinking all the chardonnay.)
  8. Emma wrote this for Glamour in defense of millennials. And you know what? I fucking agree. “We are constantly evolving along with an ever-changing digital world and see ourselves as brands, not just employee #105. Instead of believing we are just another faceless cog turning in a company, we build a USP. We build blogs, design our digital identities, grow communities, launch campaigns, start businesses. “Working hard” has taken on a whole new meaning.
  9. Food for thought: We spend so much time finding ways to filter, automate and outsource things like our email…but do these distractions really need to be in our lives in the first place? (You know I’m against unnecessary emailing…and for good reason: This shit is killing us.)
  10. Wish you had a pro camera to do a DIY shoot…but don’t have the $5,000+ to spend on one? Digging this concept of Airbnb for cameras! 
  11. Speaking in front of people is weird. That whole “picture them in their underwear” trick? Lame. Let’s be honest: If I picture anyone in their underwear, the face I’m going to make it not going to be consistent with professional. Alas, as we create blogs, build online businesses, make videos, give classes, start podcasts, and learn how to DIY our own brands, one of the most important reasons that someone is going to follow you is if they think you know something they don’t know. *cue naseley kid annoying voice* And, you do. That’s why you have the business on the topic and they don’t. But—and this is a big but—they’ll only take your advice if you actually look, sound and act like you know what you’re doing. This is why one of my favorite skills to learn is the art of public speaking (where “public” doesn’t necessarily mean on a physical stage, but maybe just the stage of the internet). And that’s also why I’m happy to announce I’ll be attending Michael Port’s Heroic Public Speaking 3-day seminar in Fort Lauderdale…in just a few weeks! That’s not an affiliate link—that is a genuine get your ass down to Florida and hang out for a few days with us link. Michael has voice trainers, filmmakers, directors, producers, drama teachers, acting coaches, comedians, advertising writers, authors, agents and a whole bunch of RIP (really impressive people) flying in from New York City to put on this bad boy…and I can’t wait. (Bonus: I’m attending with one of my favorite writer gal pals whose name I shall leave anonymous, which basically means that you should come see us at the conference…AND hide your kids.)

 

There we go. Politely piss off now, Monday. We’ll see you next week.

Love,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and This Blog

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