Tell the haters
you'll send 'em a
Reinvent Yourself in 2022 alongside Ash Ambirge, author of The Middle Finger Project, with her all-new weekly column,Ā UNINTIMIDATED.
Quit your job.Ā End the relationship. Get on a plane. Do something “crazy.” Follow your gut. Take no shit. Believe in your ideas. Go, go, go.
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Zero paywall, zero bullshit, zero meditations.Ā
Written by society & culture writer,Ā blogger, podcaster, and Penguin Random House author,
Ash Ambirgeāwho absolutely likes Swedish Fish more than you. Why else this color?
No matter where you're starting…
Ā
You can
start again.
What kind of confidence do you need today?
Bake a Cake and Shut Your Mouth: Or, How to Be Unhappy, Unfulfilled, and a Martyr to Your Own Life
I am a fickle bitch, and it's one of my greatest qualities. In fact, I wish the word “fickle” were more attractiveāit sounds too much like “pickle,” and one time in college I read a book called “Tickle His Pickle,” so I think it's clear that (a) I am a true academic, and (b) Using the word “fickle” makes my mind wander. But if the word weren't so ugly, I'd use it to describe myself all the time. Fickle (adj):
Writing, Houses & Hot Dogs: A Love Story
There were greasy hot dogs on the counter. Four of them. Naked and un-bunned, flopping around inside a glass Tupperware dish for all the world to see. I had many questions, including “are these for sale” and also “where are the onions,” but perhaps the biggest question I had was: WHO PUTS HOT DOGS IN THE FRAME WHEN TAKING A PHOTO FOR ZILLOW? Zillow, as in, the real estate website where other people look at photos and decide if they
On Not Thinking With Your Cultural Crotch
I fantasize about pugs. Not the way other people fantasize about pugs, mind youānuzzling them and squeezing them and squealing “oooohhhhhhh!!!!” before scooping them up in their arms for a welcoming, wet kiss (what is wrong with people). Rather, I want to put their tiny little gargoyle heads straight into a vise. (I thought about writing “meat grinder,” but that seems a bit much.) So far in life, I have had not one, but two pug sworn enemies, and I
On Being DONE With Your Work: A Guilt-Free Approach to To-Do Lists
There's something to be said about being DONE. I mean, do you ever feel like anything is done? Probably not! We're living in a world where nothing is ever done. How could it be, when everything is an ongoing conversation? This is why I find it nearly impossible to text people back. Because once I do, I think I've gotten it off my to-do list, but then balls on a stick! THEN THEY TEXT BACK! And then I've got yet
16 Words That'll Help You Defeat Refund Bullies Over the Phone šŖ š
I hate phone calls. In fact, there are fewer things I hate than when my phone rings. The first thought: WHO DARES…HAVE THE NERVE…TO CALL…UNINVITED?!? It's basically the modern equivalent of dropping in on someone unannouncedāespecially if it's a video call. Quick, hide the mannequin! Hide the hamburgers! Hide MY ENTIRE FACE! (Oh, you don't have mannequins and hamburgers lying around? I'M SORRY.) I know I'm not aloneāat least with the phone call bit. š This is hilariously one of
On Giving Refunds with Kindness (But Taking No Shit)
“Btw, I need your advice on something!” I knew instantly what she was going to ask me. It's the same thing that all my friends come to me for advice for. Not talking shit to boys, which was obviously my favorite past-time in college š¤·āāļø, but rather, a different kind of talk: How to word hard emails. So we ordered a round of mango mimosasāas one does on the beach of Costa Rica at Sunday brunchāand my wedding planner friend
The World's Most Unscholarly Summary of Quito, Ecuador, Ever. (Oh, and Photos.)
Like: Cobblestone Dislike: Heels + hot coffee + cobblestone (oops) – Like: Free wifi in every plaza Dislike: Thinking I should work in cafes in every plaza, and then getting hopelessly distracted by shirtless soccer players on TV (oops again) – Like: The equator Dislike: Forgetting the bottle of wine to drink ON THE EQUATOR – Like: Kissing Dislike: Kissing Ecuadorian men I, ahem, shouldn't – Like: Safety Dislike: Car alarms that make me want to hurl myself out a
Potty Mouth Ambirge Strikes Again: Reporting Live From Costa Rica, Hot Poker In Hand.
So this past week, I took a motherfucking vacation. And do you know what? I'm going to take vacations all the time! It's been decided! Vacations are just way too great to not take! Why aren't people vacationing all the time? I hereby declare every last week of the month vacation week. Not only do you get to drink (obnoxious amounts of ) fruity umbrella drinks without an ounce of guilt, you also get to do cool things like burn
Paris, Wankers + Marketing for Local Business Owners
So, I'm on a plane. I may or may not be drinking French wine from a miniature bottle that could really be bigger for seven dollars, but I mean, who's really measuring? Don't judge. I figure that between having never tried cigarettes, and having stuck up for the nerdy girl that one time in the 5th grade, I've earned it. I deserve this bottle of wine in all its little man syndrome glory. (I also propose that I deserve indulgent
Reinvent the Hell Out of Yourself in 2022
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