ON THE BLOG
Google can’t save you.
Here is a short but compelling list of things Google is good for:
- Figuring out how the hell to poach a wet, floppy fish
- Ordering purple pimp costumes to wear to dinner at your in-law’s
- Frantically searching the correct pronunciation of the word “GIF”—before saying it out loud at your client meeting in 5 minutes
And here are things Google cannot help you with, ever:
- Finding your own fucking voice
- …And having the guts to actually use it
Everybody’s so busy peeking at their neighbor’s paper, trying to figure out the “correct” way to do everything. They think that if one person had success doing X, in this very particular way, then everyone must do X, in this very particular way.
But what if your neighbor is actually subpar?
Have you considered that? Or have you taken someone else’s success at face value? Tried to imitate it? Do it the way they did? Follow in their footsteps?
Why don’t you trust your own ideas?
Why don’t you trust your own throat?
Why do you always assume that the jackass down the street knows better than you?
There’s no such thing as one-size-fits all—especially in an online landscape where you’ve got to make your own rules or make your own grave.
I guess the real question is: Do you want to be a knock off or a knock out?
One searches for inspiration. The other is busy being it.
To the Woman With the Fake Smile: Stop It, You Fucking Pigeon
How to Be Interesting As Hell On Paper
I was at Pulse Orlando.
Is Your Life *Actually* a Good One? Can You Even Decide? What Does Good Even MEAN These Days?
When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen…It Shows
A Dead Simple Way to Write a Creative Bio (Without Crying) (Or Wall Punching) (Awkward, You Guys)
For a Long Time I Secretly Worried: What If I Was Screwing Everything Up?!
“Ding, Ding, Ding! You Can Have Fun Now!” <—The Universe Is Never Going to Send You This Email, Yo
Stop Peeing Apologies Down Your Leg: Instead of Saying “I’m Sorry,” Say “THANK YOU”
Poets & Killers Get Rich
Do Something Brilliant With Your One Little Speck
We Desperately Need to Learn How to Be Mothers to Ourselves
The CEO might be her own boss, but she does not have to be her own bitch.
How to Pitch Yourself On Paper the HUMAN Way (Or, Your Resume: A Horror Story)
The Key to Fooling Everyone Into Thinking You’re a Natural at Public Speaking (Bye Bye, Stiff & Stuttery!)
There’s So Much Drama Around EVERYTHING.
Create & Offer What YOU’D Want to Buy.
[New!] UNF*CKWITHABLE GIRLFRIENDS
Networking Event? Try This Creative Approach to Introducing Yourself.
Help! My Elevator Pitch is Falling (Seriously) Flat Chested.
How to Stop Writing With a Stick Up Your Ass
My Pet Peeve About the Internet: No One Teaches Any Goddamn Substance
An Ode to the Internet’s Worst Business Advice
Nice Brands Finish Last
Headspace Is Like a Goddamn Unicorn
Read This if You’re an Impatient, Demanding, Self-Critical Tart Who Gets Mad at Herself When Things, You Know, Actually Take TIME
I Hate Monday: Edition #13
YOU are what people crave. When you’re actually being yourself online, people notice. But when you hide, they pass on by—exactly like you’re asking them to.
Never cower from who you are.
Become an Unf*ckwithable Girlfriend and learn about online business together.
Go #MASKOFF with Ash & other business owners and talk about the hard stuff, the weird stuff, the exhausting stuff, the confusing stuff, and everything else that happens when you start doing business online. (The stuff your friends and your husband and your neighbor just don’t understand!)
FOR YOUR BUSINESS
Brandgasm DESIGN & COPY
I teamed up with Shatterboxx design studio to bring you this best-selling DIY copywriting & design kit to make your website look and sound pro…without spending the money to hire one.
Love, Business Owner
300+ fill-in-the-blank business scripts to help you stutter less, sound like a pro and always know what to say to clients to get the gig, set your boundaries, and never flinch once.
YOU Don’t need a job you need guts
A step-by-step business roadmap for new entrepreneurs & business owners who want to go from zero to profitable…fast.