ASH AMBIRGE

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Sell More Stuff: Your Words Need to Repre-Fucking-Sent.

In: Writing,

I'm going to tell you a little secret.

It's not a dirty little secret, but it might as well be.

The secret is this: The key to selling your stuff? Isn't about the size of your list. (That's what she said.) In fact, it isn't about a lot of the things you're worried that it might be.

The key to selling your stuff is actually a lot more simple:

You have to learn to talk about your stuff the right way.

And holy shit, I think that's called communication.

I don't care what you're selling. I don't care that you've perfected your target audience profile to a T. I don't care that you have the prettiest Buy Now button seen this side of Greece. And I don't care that you've poured all your hard work and sweat into these things and it's, like, really, really awesome. (My best Valley Girl impression.)

Because it doesn't matter if you can't convince someone else that it's worth their time.

That's where your words come in. Words are holy hell important. They'll make or break you–and that's a promise. Just like in high school when people used to judge you by your jeans, now they're judging you by your words. And the stakes are much higher–now you aren't vying for their approval. You're vying for their dollars. So the words you slap up on that website? Better repre-fucking-sent.

What do I mean by repre-fucking-sent?

I mean your words have to hit your customer in the jaw with a crowbar. (That's my catch phrase I teach to my copywriting students, and I'm sticking to it.)

They have to grab their eyeballs, and demand to tango.

They have to seduce 'em right then and there–no time for krumpets and chit-chat.

Because ultimately, you're trying to get your customer to go to bed with you. Figuratively, of course. Unless you're in another type of industry. Maybe “go to bed with you” means signing up for your mailing list. Maybe it means buying something on the spot. Maybe it means taking another action. But either way, your words have to do their job. Think of them as your pimp. You want a pimp who can actually get you work, right? And not one who's going to stutter and lose you customers. Especially the good-looking ones.

The first step in doing this is easy.

To get started, what I want you to do is think about the most common reasons people come to you, or pay you money. What are THEY saying they need? Verbatim. How are they phrasing it? What do they tell you they're looking for?

Then, furthermore, what do you imagine them waking up sweaty worried about?

I call this the wake-up-sweaty test. And I make all my students run their copy through it.

So for example, I guarantee that if I'm a life coach, none of my ideal clients are waking up sweaty, nervous, thinking, “Shit, I really need more empowerment.”

Rather, they're probably thinking things that sound more like: “Shit, why can't I seem to get this project off the ground? Where's my motivation? Why am I such a lazy cow? Am I destined to be a failure? I hate myself.”

So therefore, it follows that your copy NEEDS TO ADDRESS WHAT YOUR IDEAL CLIENTS ARE ACTUALLY THINKING. Because when you do that, they'll arrive at your website and immediately think, “Oh my gosh, this person GETS ME. This is me. I NEED THEM. NO ONE ELSE WILL DO. SIGN ME UP UP UP.”

On the other hand, if you throw up some “get empowereds,” and “get inspireds,” your ideal customers aren't going to connect with you. They're going to glaze over. These are words they've heard over and over, so they don't hit them in the face with a crowbar. And they don't feel a tangible need for those things. No one wakes up sweaty thinking, “I am just not inspired enough, dammit.”

It's all about making them feel something.

And this applies to all industries.

Case in point:

I consulted with someone just the other day who's sign up looked like this:

And while that's all good and lovely, it's not a compelling call to action.

So I asked her to go through the exercise above, and it turns out that her people don't come to her for inspiration, wisdom and musings–they come to her because they want to learn how to manifest their wish list in life, create jaw-dropping opportunities for themselves, wake up every day in joy, and feel fucking GOOD.

And so we're editing her copy to reflect that, and really CONNECT with her prospects, and show them that she really gets 'em. And again, it was never the case that she didn't actually get them–it was simply a case of not being able to communicate that effectively.

Your Words Must Repre-fucking-sent

They'll either help you slaughter the competition, or they'll make you blend right in.

You pick.

Enter your email address and I'll rummage around in my bag of tricks for JUST the thing.

become unf*ckwithable

What does it mean to be Unf*ckwithable? View the 10 commandments >>

 

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54 thoughts on "Sell More Stuff: Your Words Need to Repre-Fucking-Sent."

  1. Results. Opportunity. Profits. These are a few of my words I’m guilty of resorting to when I’m being a lazy cow.

    And there’s a lot of people who think that adding the adjective in front of these impotent words will help. It won’t. Your primary benefits to the end user should be sexy naked – without flattering clothes, high heels, or make-up.

    Your waking up sweaty test reminds me of this wisdom from the
    eloquent tome, “Winnie The Pooh”. . .

    One day when he was out walking, he came to an open place in
    the middle of the forest. And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.
    And from the top of the tree there came a loud buzzing noise.

    Winnie The Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree and put his
    head between his paws and began to think.

    “First of all,” he said to himself “that buzzing noise means
    something. You don’t get a buzzing noise like that just buzzing and buzzing
    without its meaning something. If there’s a buzzing noise, someone’s making a
    buzzing noise and the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is
    because you’re a bee.”

    And then he thought another long time and said, “And the
    only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey.”

    And then he got up and he said, “The only reason for making
    honey is so as I can eat it.” So he began to climb the tree.

    What Does This Analogy Mean?

    What you just read, is what you’re learning how to do in
    these notes.

    Your perfect prospect is out walking in the field of their
    life and every great once in a while, they hear a buzzing noise and they draw
    conclusions based on emotional buttons being pushed and they start climbing the
    tree and only after they’ve climbed the tree do the logical reasons get made for
    why the climbed after the honey in the first place.

    If you want to attract Winnie The Pooh to your back yard on
    the edge of the forest, you don’t put a block of cheese out there.

    This makes complete common sense. You say, “Duh!” and yet,
    you’re probably trying to attract Winnie The Pooh to your websites with cheese.

    People that call themselves, “Marketing Experts” based on
    the letters they have to their names and the degrees they have hanging on the
    wall, don’t only make the mistake of offering the bait their prospects don’t
    want . . . but they also insist on telling you what they should like and want.

    Your
    perfect prospect has special mechanisms built into their personality that tell
    them if honey is in the vicinity. And when your perfect prospect gets a whiff
    of honey, they say to themselves, “Hmm, Honey. The only reason I can think of
    for honey being around here is so as I can eat it.”

    This means that if you’ve got really tasty honey, and you
    put it out there in the world in the form of marketing messages, it better
    smell like really tasty honey if you want Winnie “The Perfect Prospect” Pooh
    climbing the tree to come get it.

    What
    we’re going to figure out here is how to make a good buzzing noise. A buzzing
    noise that gets our bears to stop, look, and listen and then climb i.e. act.
    This is the opposite of getting people to simply say they like your ads or
    marketing.

    You
    want people doing what you want them to do in order to bring them the results
    they want. You want people climbing the tree that ultimately leads them to
    buying something from you.

    This is one of the most highly valued skills in the
    world

    I’m desperately in love with this quest you’re on to have your students strive for the specific, the measurable, the tangible, and what is connected to the result they want. You, my dear, are a force for good and I can’t compliment you highly enough for the taking care to address such a massive problem.

  2. Results. Opportunity. Profits. These are a few of my words I’m guilty of resorting to when I’m being a lazy cow.

    And there’s a lot of people who think that adding the adjective in front of these impotent words will help. It won’t. Your primary benefits to the end user should be sexy naked – without flattering clothes, high heels, or make-up.

    Your waking up sweaty test reminds me of this wisdom from the
    eloquent tome, “Winnie The Pooh”. . .

    One day when he was out walking, he came to an open place in
    the middle of the forest. And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.
    And from the top of the tree there came a loud buzzing noise.

    Winnie The Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree and put his
    head between his paws and began to think.

    “First of all,” he said to himself “that buzzing noise means
    something. You don’t get a buzzing noise like that just buzzing and buzzing
    without its meaning something. If there’s a buzzing noise, someone’s making a
    buzzing noise and the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is
    because you’re a bee.”

    And then he thought another long time and said, “And the
    only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey.”

    And then he got up and he said, “The only reason for making
    honey is so as I can eat it.” So he began to climb the tree.

    What Does This Analogy Mean?

    What you just read, is what you’re learning how to do in
    these notes.

    Your perfect prospect is out walking in the field of their
    life and every great once in a while, they hear a buzzing noise and they draw
    conclusions based on emotional buttons being pushed and they start climbing the
    tree and only after they’ve climbed the tree do the logical reasons get made for
    why the climbed after the honey in the first place.

    If you want to attract Winnie The Pooh to your back yard on
    the edge of the forest, you don’t put a block of cheese out there.

    This makes complete common sense. You say, “Duh!” and yet,
    you’re probably trying to attract Winnie The Pooh to your websites with cheese.

    People that call themselves, “Marketing Experts” based on
    the letters they have to their names and the degrees they have hanging on the
    wall, don’t only make the mistake of offering the bait their prospects don’t
    want . . . but they also insist on telling you what they should like and want.

    Your
    perfect prospect has special mechanisms built into their personality that tell
    them if honey is in the vicinity. And when your perfect prospect gets a whiff
    of honey, they say to themselves, “Hmm, Honey. The only reason I can think of
    for honey being around here is so as I can eat it.”

    This means that if you’ve got really tasty honey, and you
    put it out there in the world in the form of marketing messages, it better
    smell like really tasty honey if you want Winnie “The Perfect Prospect” Pooh
    climbing the tree to come get it.

    What
    we’re going to figure out here is how to make a good buzzing noise. A buzzing
    noise that gets our bears to stop, look, and listen and then climb i.e. act.
    This is the opposite of getting people to simply say they like your ads or
    marketing.

    You
    want people doing what you want them to do in order to bring them the results
    they want. You want people climbing the tree that ultimately leads them to
    buying something from you.

    This is one of the most highly valued skills in the
    world

    I’m desperately in love with this quest you’re on to have your students strive for the specific, the measurable, the tangible, and what is connected to the result they want. You, my dear, are a force for good and I can’t compliment you highly enough for the taking care to address such a massive problem.

  3. cj renzi says:

    Very enjoyable post. @Otiti, that is top notch material! Every freakin’ word counts. I am really trying not to use the word “awesome”. It makes me want to vomit when I hear myself say it. I visit this site often because you let it fly, yet temper that with creativity and intelligence. What a perfect combo.

  4. cj renzi says:

    Very enjoyable post. @Otiti, that is top notch material! Every freakin’ word counts. I am really trying not to use the word “awesome”. It makes me want to vomit when I hear myself say it. I visit this site often because you let it fly, yet temper that with creativity and intelligence. What a perfect combo.

Comments are closed.