The Blog

Hey there!
I haven't seen you around before. Come in, come in!
(Don't you dare take those shoes off.)

We should probably get to know each other before getting to second base, don't you think? I mean, I can tell you right now that my favorite color is white and I don't like fish and even if you tell me that the reason I don't like fish is because “I haven't had it prepared like ________,” I STILL won't like your fish and then I will judge you for peer-pressuring me. So there's that.

There's also lots of other things you should know, like about the time I was young and lost and didn't understand why my career wasn't lighting rocket ships under my ass (which is how I ended up starting an online empire called “The Middle Finger Project” in the first place). Fortunately I've learned a lot since then. (Like how to create a creative career that *did*.)

Let's chat some more! Follow me into the other room, and I'll brew you some tea. (Just kidding, it's vodka.) Learn More >>

Recommended Reading

to get you started

May 31

2018

If Somebody Told Me to Pick a Husband at Age Twenty-Three, I’d Likely Be Waking Up Next to Some Guy Who Can’t Spell “Lemon.”

You know why we’re all unhappy and restless and jaded and depressed? LIFE IS BORING US TO TEARS. Boredom is the devil, but most people don’t realize they’re bored. They’re busy working. They’re busy running. They’re busy doing ALL THE ERRANDS and keeping up with those fucksticks, The Jones’. It doesn’t feel like they’re bored, […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ MORE >>

Jun 7

2016

A Dead Simple Way to Write a Creative Bio (Without Crying) (Or Wall Punching) (Awkward, You Guys)

Most people dread introducing themselves in general, but ask someone to introduce themselves in writing, and you’ve just added another unwelcome layer of pressure: Now you’ve got to WRITE WELL ON TOP OF IT. And, you know, say witty things. That you’re committing to paper. While being judged by everyone who reads it. Because isn’t […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

Dec 30

2015

On Becoming Unfuckwithable

Unfuckwithable. If you’re contemplating themes for the New Year, I highly recommend borrowing this one. Rolls right off the tongue and deep dives directly into your ovaries. But more importantly? We need this. We need this because there are always going to be days—weeks, months, years—where everything feels hard. There are always going to be […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ MORE >>

Jun 9

2015

Making Money is Not as Hard as Most People Make It

There is a distinct and profound difference between people who make money and people who don’t: the money. Hard, cold, beautiful bendy stacks of cash. I know there are a lot of people that say money is evil and your nostrils will catch on fire if you want anything other than world peace, but usually—and pardon […]

In: Money Talk

READ MORE >>