Well this is awkward.

Pro Tip #1: When you hate your life / want to give up on business / you’re broke as a joke / wish money grew on trees / have no idea how to proceed…read this website instead.


If you’re here, I’m going to make a few incredibly fancy assumptions:

  1. You like wine. (If you don’t like wine, get off my website.)
  2. You’ve had any of the following thoughts:
    • Is this it?
    • Why does my life feel like one giant rotting ribeye steak?
    • I always wanted to be a writer / start my own web design company / do freelance illustrating / sell my patterns / coach other people / take the risk / run the show / start my own thing / do something more meaningful with my career
    • “Starving artist” scares the shit out of me
    • Business scares the shit out of me
    • I can’t seem to make any money with my thing
    • Nobody’s paying any attention to me
    • My website sucks
    • I suck
    • I have no clue how to sell myself
    • I hate selling
    • Why is this so hard?
    • Maybe I’ll just go sell papayas out of a wheelbarrow
    • Papayas are delicious
  3. You wish you could be creative, have fun and learn to love doing business…without feeling like a snake oil salesman
  4. You want to make money. Lots of it. But you don’t want to put yourself to sleep reading stuffy business books that use words like “solutions” and “target persona”
  5. You like me. You might not know me, but you probably already know if you like me or not. You should probably like me if you plan on learning how I’ve built a million dollar writing business from my Macbook…while traveling the world, living in places like Costa Rica & Chile, and getting signed by the #1 literary agency in the world. Also, see bullet point number one.


Pro Tip #2: Buy a Big Fat Roll of Duct Tape

…and immediately stick a piece over the mouth of every single person who says any of the following things to you:

  • Count your blessings
  • Be grateful for what you’ve got
  • This is not the time to start your own business
  • Suck it up
  • We’ve all got to do it
  • You don’t have to love your job
  • You don’t want to be a “starving artist,” do you?
  • Think of your family
  • What if it doesn’t work out?
  • I think you’re making a big mistake
  • I really just don’t like how this decision makes me feel insecure about my own choices and I need to keep you down in the suck so I can feel better about myself (just kidding, they’ll never actually come out and say that to you)

Pro Tip #3: Get An Opinion

The Middle Finger Project is a website, a community, and an educational platform for you to learn how to take your dreams seriously and turn them into a business that makes awesome money that feels great to make. That said, the most important ingredient, more than any other piece of business & life advice on the planet, is simple:

Get an opinion.

So many people are scared of their own shadow. Scared to say what they think, to assert their wants, to do the thing they want to do, to take a stand for something they believe in. But if you want to do something out of the ordinary; do something worth doing with the little time you have on this crazy little planet, then you need to learn how to get taken seriously. The only way you can get taken seriously? Is if you have your own opinions.

Think about it: Why would anyone follow a person who didn’t have their own opinions? Who merely parroted the rest of the world? Why would they be attracted to you, look up to you, buy from you, support you?

Decide on your opinion. About your industry, your perspectives, your work. And then? Make them known. Remember: People are reading your writing, and following your work, because they *want* to know your opinion. And it’s the #1 secret weapon that you can, and should, use to your advantage. Here at TMF, I’m going to show you how.

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The Woman Behind It All (Or at least that empty bottle of wine.)

Fun fact: There are 67 emotions to success. (Not counting hybrids like blind rage, of course.)

How do I know? Because I wrote them. I wrote them after I wrote my parents’ obituaries when I was still a baby. I wrote them as I grew up and went from rush hour to happy hour to the darkest hours. I wrote them as I built a career in marketing & sales, trying to “be grateful” and “count my blessings.” (Which, for the record, were not my hips.)

I wrote them after longing for a life I couldn’t put my finger on, after quitting my job to start my first writing business (which tanked, by the way), after returning to the corporate world, and after succumbing to money > experiences (it’s so not the truth).

I wrote them after making some financial mistakes that would nearly ruin me. I wrote them as he gripped my neck tight. I wrote them as I made sweatshirts into pillows and nestled into a Kmart parking lot.

I wrote them as I flew 5,000 miles south to the country of Chile to start over again…in more ways than one. I wrote them as I started a second writing business from my Macbook; as I wrote blog post after blog post; as I got client after client; as I went from $0 to my first $100,000 in less than a year.

I wrote them when I cried on Christmas Eve, and when I laughed on Monday. I wrote them when I got on plane after plane, when I tried new after new, and when I realized that whoever is merely counting their existing blessings…isn’t counting as much as they could. I wrote them when I learned the truth about being a business owner (hint: self-care for breakfast), when I took meetings in New York, and when I sit here and write this from my villa in Costa Rica, with a million dollar brand, the literary agency of my dreams representing my first book, and the satisfaction of honoring myself.

I was able to write the 67 Emotions of Success because I lived them. Now, it’s your turn. What emotions will become yours?

Read The 67 Emotions of Success >


Still Curious?

Oh, you’re in for a liquor-filled chocolate treat. This is the hotspot for anyone striking out on their own, growing a business or venture, and looking for fresh, interesting ways to make anybody care.  The word “newsletter” is officially banned, and we throw banana peels at terrible internet marketing fads like “download my eBook.” Because nobody wants your free goodies, unless you’re Ciara or Petey Pablo, and even then.
Fucking Facebook, probably. Ooh, or karma. Just kidding, probably Facebook.
Because we’re in the business of shunning cliché, overused language, business practices and lifestyle choices, in favor of originality, happiness & doing what feels good for you. Also, ‘no rules, just right’ was taken by Outback Steakhouse.
The kind called House of Moxie, Inc. on paper. Clearly we had to live up to our name. (P.S. House of Moxie is a creative copywriting company that apparently took a few liberties with this brand, eh?)
Hell no. Crap. I mean seriously, no. We just are colorful humans who use colorful language because sometimes people need to wake up and pay attention. (I think that last bit is a line from Sister Act 2. You’re welcome,)
Don’t listen to anybody. Everybody is scared. Which is actually a Jay-Z lyric, so there’s that.
Pour yourself some scotch and crank open the dreaming part of your brain. Aaaaand go.
Hippopotamus. I mean, just read it out loud. Isn’t it your favorite word?
Why do you ask so many questions? But really, because it involves fascinating human behavior and, let’s be honest: People are finding you. They just don’t care.
Yes, but only if they’re adults.
Ooh, come ride with me (said like the owner of a magic carpet, not like the owner of an unmarked white van). This over here plus this will get you exactly where you need to be.
You ask really great questions. Clickety clack over here and jump down this glorious marketing rabbit hole of success and riches. (It’s a section of our blog–calm down.)
Do YOU only like celery when it’s doing laps in a Bloody Mary?
A fun, footloose and fancy-free way to tap into the TMF brainchild is by getting e-mentored by Ash for free by putting your email into the big box at the bottom of the website. You’ll get two new ideas weekly on marketing yourself in original ways (and shunning the sea of sameness) and spoonfuls of success sugar that will change the way you do business, and give you a leg up, (along leg up, that is), on your competition.
From always asking, “What if?”
Drink more. Say yes more. Maybe not both at once though, okay?
You can read Ash’s story here. Disclaimer: No innocent sombreros were harmed in the making of this story.
Stalking is not okay, so let’s not call it stalking. Let’s call it researching.

“Creativity takes courage.”