QUIT YOUR JOB. TRUST YOURSELF. CREATE
YOUR
OWN
FORTUNE.

Well-adjusted humans need not apply.

  • 2009: GIRL FROM SCRANTON. GREW UP IN A TRAILER PARK. PARENTS DIED. ORPHANED + ALONE. LOST + SCARED. CYNICAL + DISILLUSIONED. BETRAYED BY LIFE. MADE SERIES OF BAD DECISIONS. $26 + SLEEPING IN MY CAR. SUBSISTING ON DOLLAR MENU MCDONALD'S. QUESTIONING EVERYTHING. VERY BAD HAIR.

  • 2017: Million dollar online empire. Creative writing studio. Founder of The Middle Finger Project, specializing in making work + business fun AF. Hobby = traveling the world, pretending my thighs aren't chafing. See also: Reading, writing, French nasal sounds, and the occasional sweaty jog. (HA.) Roots in Philadelphia. House in Costa Rica. Represented by #1 independent literary agency in NYC. Writing a book. Much less pissed off. Drinks better wine. Doesn't even grimace at children anymore. (...Usually.) And discovers that the silver lining of heartbreak is backbone—and the best part about desperation? Is depth.


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ON THE BLOG

Having Trouble Committing Yourself to That Project You Really, Really Wanna Do, But Can’t Seem to Get Started?

In: Creating, Hard Stuff, Productivity, Success

I’ve been writing a bo for nearly two years now, which sounds absolutely homicidal when I say it out loud. I mean, let’s be honest: most of my romantic relationships haven’t even lasted that long. (OKAY FINE, UNTIL NOW, BECAUSE THE LOS AND I ARE ON, LIKE, YEAR #BAZILLION.) I’ve learned a lot about commitment, these last two years, which means I’ve also learned a lot about myself. (For example, apparently I know jack shit about hyphens. Who knew?) But

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My Top 5 Makeup Tips for Working From Home—And NOT Looking Like a Total Soiled Sloth :)

In: Confidence, Humor, Lady Balls, Video

Hi! You are going to think I’m positively off my rocker, but I made you a video containing my very own top five makeup tips for NOT loing like a soiled sloth while working from home. Because WORKING FROM HOME IS HARD AND WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET. (Also, because last week one of our Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends—a fabulous photographer named Heidi—rocked a Live for all of us on how to lo hot for the camera, and

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How to Start a Blog (Without Wanting to Kill Yourself) [PART II]

In: Business 101, Creating, Writing

Want to start a blog? Read Part I of this series first! So this morning when I was sitting here loing like an absolute homeless person, I was doing what I do every morning: tiptoeing into my brain and and dragging memories out with a sledgehammer, AKA WRITING. I do this every morning for no less than three hours, but very often five or six, because once I get going, it’s like prying a teenager away from a Playstation. (Seriously,

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How to Start a Blog (Without Wanting to Kill Yourself)

In: Business 101, Creating, Writing

  I GIVE UP: WHERE IS EVERYBODY?! In 2009 I started this blog and I remember thinking that pretty soon EVERYONE was going to be doing it—My friends! My rs! My former teachers! That neighbor with the soupy ass! (sweatpants can be evil)—and the gig was going to be up, because I HAD DISCOVERED THE SECRET TO ALL THE THINGS (not to mention making my first $103,000 that year—which, trust me, was a f*ck ton back then). I remember thinking:

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Success Isn’t More Deserved When It’s Hard . . . BRAH

In: Hard Stuff, Life, Success

Can we talk about the fact that today is February 2nd? How is it February the 2nd already? Am I eighty hundred years old yet? Because time seems not to be going my way. (Though a friend did recently compliment me on my skin, however that was only because she didn’t see my neck. Is this the decade in which we slowly descend upon a dysfunctional, passive-aggressive relationship with turtlenecks?) Speaking of time, you ever notice that when you’re away

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Most of the People I Grew Up With Voted for Trump—AND I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO REACT [A Story Through the Eyes of a “Scrappy Kid From Scranton”]

In: Success

  For many people the election was a shock—but for me, it was a betrayal. There were things I thought I knew. I thought I knew, for example, that the smartest kid in my high school class—the one with the lightning fast wit and the ability to crush a calculus equation, who even held the title of “boyfriend” our junior year—would surely be voting the way I was. He was not. I thought I knew, for example, that the respectable,

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When the Internet Becomes a Raging Psycho Serial Killer—And Everybody’s All, “Whatever, LOL.”

In: Success

  Oh 2017. It’s an odd-numbered year, which always makes me feel uneasy about things. I mean, what good could come of a year that ends in the number seventeen? The last time seventeen and I met, I was sneaking out of my bedroom at one o’clock in the morning, discovering that beer came in forty-ounce bottles (GENIUS), and playing rap music on volume ten—while (get this) ***still being able to multitask.*** Ah, the luxury of youth. These days, anyone even so

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Lack of Sleep Turning You Into a Pissed Off 2-Year Old? I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.

In: Creating, Hard Stuff, Lady Balls, Productivity, Success

  Get a load of this insider information: Did you know your brain actually needs SLEEP? I’m pretty sure that none of us are ACTUALLY SLEEPING, and you know who I blame this entirely on? Wine. Holy mother of dragons, discovery of the decade: If I have wine at night, I will not be able to sleep. And by “not be able to sleep,” what I mean to say is that I’ll be laying there in bed like a pissed

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