When your idea isn’t clear, you know what you do? Cover it up with blabber. Adjectives. Flowery words that try to compensate for the fact that you don’t actually know what you’re talking about (yetttt). But good ideas stand on their own. If you’re having trouble writing about it, your writing may not be the problem. Go back to the idea, and start there. Because if you can’t say it in one sentence, you’ll never be able to say it
I track every single minute of my time. I can tell you exactly how many hours I’ve been writing my new bo, exactly how many hours I write for this blog, exactly how many hours I dedicate to the Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends mastermind, even how many hours a word branding project takes me, start to finish, on the ightful occasion when I do these—including phone calls, e correspondence, and administrative tasks like sending contracts and invoices. I do this, not because
I like gel eggs. (WHO’S WITH ME ON THIS?) But I can never get the gel eggs just right, because they always turn out too dry, or undercoed. It’s hard to get that perfect precision. Then I bought a new pan. Made the gel eggs on the first try. The tools you use are as important as the work you put into it. Better outcome. Less cursing. That’s one reason why I’m switching these daily es to a new provider
The best bos are those that say something. That make a statement. Draw conclusions. Make connections. Contribute something new to the discussion. Otherwise, what’s the point in writing it? I think we can all agree that nobody wants to read bo after bo that regurgitates the same exact thing that they’ve read before. The same thing applies to business. If you lo at your business as a story, is it one worth reading?
You don’t have to choose, you know. You can be intelligent…and sensual. Extroverted…and introverted. Complex…and simple. You…and someone who’s evolving into someone else. Sometimes, in an effort to finally define who the fuck we are, we start putting ourselves into the little boxes voluntarily—the same ones that we spent our earlier years trying to escape. It gives us relief, to be in a box. To have an identity. To know something with certainty. And to be able to say, with
Alright, hotshot— so what are you going to do today to change it? *los you dead in the eye* *walks away*
Thou shall not wait for an imaginary endorsement from The Committee of True and Actual Greatness to affirm that you’re good enough to put your work out there. The traditional meritocracy meant that you could work your way up the ladder—but you’d have to wait for some creep to give you permission to climb each rung. From promotions at work, to having your art featured, to getting your own magazine column, to speaking on the topic of Teletubbies (or, hey,
It’s a funny thing, promoting yourself. I’m fairly certain most people would rather have a perfectly minty molar ripped violently from their mouth, using a rusty tool from the 1950’s, performed by a man named Jacque, than they would ever want to dare “sound like they are bragging.” Self-promotion is hard because nobody wants to be seen as self-absorbed—but there’s a difference, and it’s critical to your career. Why? Making your achievements known is the only way that other people
When you’re weighing out your business ideas, do not cave to the pressure of having to do something new. You do not have to be the first—you just have to be the only. There’s a difference. If you think about it, there are plenty of restaurants using all the same ingredients. After all, there are only so many types of pasta. But new and upcoming restaurants don’t need to invent a brand new kind of noodle—they just have to take an existing
Everyone wants to stand out from the sea of sameness—a phrase I coined years ago, right here on this blog, when the Internet first started teetering toward “me, too!” syndrome. Ask most people how to stand out, and depending on their industry, they’ll tell you something different: Get a website! Learn how to write copy! Write an eBo! Get publicity! But those things, in and of themselves, do not help you stand out from the sea of sameness. They
In the mornings, I let myself linger underneath the covers, twisting the full, fluffy comforter up and around my face, letting my feet dance in the cotton. It feels so good, to slide your soles through the cool material—almost sinful. When I shower, I surrender to the warmth of the water, letting it caress my skin from my shoulders to the top of my ass, and really feeling what that feels like, to be nude—and alive. When I sip my
At one point or another, you’ll question your work. You’ll question what you do, and whether you like doing it, and you’ll wonder if you’re on the right path, after all. At one point or another, you’ll be convinced that you hate your work. You’ll be disappointed by clients, discouraged by logistics, and burnt out from the routine of it all. And then you’ll remember. One client will remind you. One project will invigorate you. One spark will blow your
Money is important, and you can’t run a business without it. BUT WE LOVE TO PRETEND LIKE THAT ISN’T TRUE. I had an incredible meeting with a new business owner yesterday except I was her client instead of the reverse. (And she’s a naturopath, you guys, can you believe this shit? I’m evolving.) When it came time to talk about money, however, she began with the very adorable (and totally normal), “Oh no, I’m not going to charge you, I’m
If you were overweight and believed that you simply didn’t have the “genetics” to be slender—do you think you’d ever try? The stories you tell yourself aren’t your truth—they’re your shackles. So, what other things are you lying about?
“That’s the exception, not the rule,” is a tragic piece of advice. As any leader knows, “be the exception, not the rule,” is how leaders are born in the first place.
Yesterday I stumbled across a website called—are you ready for this? Yoga For Bad People. Now, when you just read that, you either had one of two reactions: 1) Fucking it. 2) Not for me. And that is what the branding is meant to do—attract the people who will them, while actively repelling the people who won’t. Too often, we go to great lengths to attract, but not repel. We don’t like to tell anyone they don’t belong. (A knee
I remember when I was a little girl, I had a brilliant way of dealing with problems: Take one slice of American cheese. Fold it into fours. Pile two squares onto each cracker. Get as many crackers onto the plate as you could. They say that some people “stuff down their pain” with food, but I think it’s the opposite: You want your pain to be noticed by somebody else. It’s the only way you can show just how much
The men came with trucks. To the naked eye, they loed like movers. In and out they passed the length of the trailer, hurriedly, sweatily, carrying boxes upon boxes back and forth, like ants. “Can I get you an iced tea?” I asked. They gulped them down like dogs. I wanted them to like me. I didn’t know if they’d really be able to sell my mother’s pewter knickknacks at auction—nor her collection of John Grisham novels, her wooden end
I’m working with a client, right now, who wants to sell emotional intelligence. That’s the result you get when you work with her. EQ, instead of IQ. And emotional intelligence is actually really, really important. It’s one of the biggest predictors of success, believe it or not. She’s read the literature. I’ve read the literature. The pope’s read the sweet, sweet literature. So the question then becomes: How do we make other people care? The problem, of course, is that
Floating through life, without ever thinking about much, is way too easy. You could plow through your to-do lists, keep your head down, busy yourself endlessly, and then wake up in twenty years and realize: I gave my life away, like a trinket to be bartered, and today I lo around me and realize: It was a bad deal. Here’s a soberingly serious question: Do you actually like what you do? Does it energize you, the way a trip to
Everyone wants their ideas to spread. This is what marketing is all about. What is often neglected, however, is that you have to have an idea first. Everyone’s trying to sell “design” or “copywriting” or “coaching” or “services”—God forbid—but these things are merely categories, not concepts. What do you believe? Package THAT. *You were waiting for a dick je, weren’t you.
So often, we make choices based on “what feels right for us.” To most people, that sounds like sage advice. You’re “being true to yourself,” after all. What we don’t consider, however, are the limitations. If you’re constantly making decisions based on who you are in this very moment, you don’t leave any room for who you want to become—or who you need to. Sometimes, you’ve got to do what DOESN’T feel right. Sometimes, you’ve got to say “fuck it”
You ever walk through the first-class section of an airplane and think, “Who are these fucks?” I’ll tell you who they are: The people that make up to 50% of an air’s revenue. Fifty percent! Which is striking since, you know, there are, like, five seats up there, compared to the bajillion the rest of us low-lifes sit in. But isn’t that telling? An air makes 50% of its revenue from 20% or less of its seats—which is precisely why
The other day someone to note of my new daily blog post. “You’re launching something big,” they said. “No,” I replied. “I’m just a writer.” We’ve gotten so used to there always being an ulterior motive, that we’re suspicious when there isn’t one. Do the thing you’re called to do, especially when you have no motive.
Things aren’t always what they seem. An e list full of 100,000 people is meaningless if only 100 of those people open the es. Similarly, an e list of 100 people, with 100 of those people opening them, does mean something. Who is successful? And who is doing something that actually matters?
The other day my project manager and I were talking about a project I really wanted to work on. Doing so, however, would require me to show up every single week at the same time. “Are you sure you want to commit to that?” she said, hesitantly. “Think freedom.” I didn’t even have to consider my response. “Giving myself a schedule is the only way I am free,” I said. “It means that the rest of my time is really
“Let’s hop on a call” strikes VAMPIRE-LIKE-TERROR into the heart of new business owners and experienced ones alike. When I to a survey asking why, here were some of the answers: Just puhleezze buy it…don’t make me ask!! The first 10 seconds are so awkward! I hate small talk but never know how to start the conversation right. I want to sound like a girl with brains and someone to be reckoned with—but I have no idea how. I hate