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  • Hi, there!

  • I'm contacting you because
  • You can reply to me at
  • as long as you promise not to
  • . One really interesting thing I think you should know about me is
  • . But what I really wanted to say is this:
  • Thanks!

[{"code":"Omg
[{"code":"Omg
yes
yes
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
you SO already know the answer "
you SO already know the answer "
"label":"Fortune #2"
"label":"Fortune #2"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you have to ask
{"code":"If you have to ask
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
"label":"Fortune #3"
"label":"Fortune #3"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
"label":"Fortune #5"
"label":"Fortune #5"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
"label":"Fortune #7"
"label":"Fortune #7"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Go
{"code":"Go
go
go
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"UM
{"code":"UM
YES. thank you
YES. thank you
next"
next"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you don't quit
{"code":"If you don't quit
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"win":true}]
"win":true}]