ASH AMBIRGE

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This is What I Pray for, More Than Anything: The Courage to Decline

In: Finding Your Voice

Today’s my birthday!

And on my birthday, I pray. (Which is hilarious to imagine, if you know me.)

I pray for my well-being, and I pray for bliss; I pray for fulfillment, and I pray for rapture.

I pray for meaning and I pray for pleasure; I pray for substance and I pray for intellect.

I pray that every day I’ll yearn for the world more, not less, and that every choice I make will make me cutthroat ravenous. How do I decide on a project? A path? A direction?

Savage ambition.

Do you smell it? Crave it? Need it, like a bloodthirsty wolf? And, more importantly: if you don’t, do you have the courage to let it go?

This is what I pray for, more than anything: the courage to decline. It is never easy to murder your comforts, but it is necessary. A comfortable life is an irrelevant goal; only a fool would want to live life as she pleases.

I want the fight.

It is an insult, to any human alive, to have life turn you away as if you're not worth the effort. Why bother getting in the ring if you know it’s going to be an automatic knockout?

I pray that life will keep on respecting me enough to give me the situations I need to grow—as a fighter, as a creator, as a writer, as a woman. I pray that I will not live a comfortable life, but a full one. I want a permanent license on audacity—and I don’t want there to be any take backs.

I want to take no mercy when it comes to my own fulfillment, my own satisfaction, my own legacy.

Which means that after I’m done praying?

I get to work.

Life is but one ruthless murder after another, if you’re doing it right.

Nov 11

2010

You (Still) Don’t Need a Job.

Nov 11, 2010

MYTH: You think to yourself:  “You are no Chris Guillebeau; you should just go find a job.” –Fear expressed from an actual reader email If you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking you aren’t interesting enough, not smart enough, not savvy enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough, you’re, first, wrong, and second, ignorant of the way the […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 12

2017

A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)

Aug 12, 2017

In the year 2010, friends would call and say: “So, how’s your blooooooooggggggg?” The tone was obvious: How’s your cute little imaginary friend that you think is going to save you from the real world that the rest of us have to suffer through? The year 2011, I made $103,000 with that blog—a far cry […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Feb 10

2016

Nice Brands Finish Last

Feb 10, 2016

[x_blockquote type=”center”]I take it as an insult when somebody calls me The N Word: Nice.[/x_blockquote] Out of 100,000 adjectives in the English language, if the best you can come up with is nice, then I’m doing something wrong. It’s like spending Thanksgiving Day ripping out gizzards and mashing actual potatoes, only to be told that […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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May 27

2017

The Anti-Trump Bar: The Way You Stand Out is By Standing UP

May 27, 2017

There’s an AWESOME new creative cocktail lounge in New York City called Coup. All of the profits are being donated to organizations being threatened or defunded by the current administration. Tips are donated, too. Guest bartenders are flying in from all over the world, no charge, to donate their services. And guess what? There are lines […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 29

2015

“I don’t feel confident in my work.”

Oct 29, 2015

Are you squinting your eyes at the screen trying to decide if this describes you or not? (Of course you are, you’re probably reading this on an iPhone the size of my elbow.) It’s kind of an ugly characterization—nobody wants to admit to feeling less than confident in what you’re doing. And yet, I’ve got […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 26

2017

Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion

Oct 26, 2017

Nobody wants to “be difficult.” Those words have stigma tattooed right across their rear. Just hearing them makes you think of that psycho in line at the grocery store, berating the cashier for not accepting her expired coupon. (She’s also wearing Uggs, for the record, and DEFINITELY has a soggy cigarette hanging out of her […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Nov 22

2017

There’s No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive

Nov 22, 2017

You know what I’m grateful for? Fucking. NOT LIKE THAT, SICKO. Although, I mean, I guess…wait. Let me start again. I like the word fucking because it’s representative of something so much bigger than that, which is the real thing I’m grateful for: freedom of expression. Remember that cute little First Amendment? It says that the […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 19

2017

I Wrote This For The Ones Who Care What They Might Think

Jun 19, 2017

“Oh, but they’re going to say ________________________.” That I’m not really as smart as I think I am.That I think I’m better than them, now.That I’m putting on a show. Good news: you can stop micro-managing all the thoughts that don’t belong to you, darling.  Their thoughts belong to them, just like their children do. You […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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