The Blog
Mar 9
2019
Mar 9, 2019
Hey, yo! Just a quick reminder because you might be sitting at your desk FINALLY attempting to get your “books” together (by which I mean sorting through last year’s Paypal transactions and wishing death upon the IRS) so you can submit some sort of tax document thingie that you really don’t understand WHILE ALSO hoping […]
Dec 14
2018
Dec 14, 2018
Okay, so you know how I have been singing Bench’s praises all goddamn year? Like, psychopath level praises? WELL THIS IS WHY. I just logged into my account this morning, and here are a few of the numbers I can see with just a click: $34,422.64. That’s how much we spent this year on monthly subscriptions to software and […]
Mar 20
2018
Mar 20, 2018
I HAVE SO MANY GOOD THINGS TO TELL YOU! (Yes, we’re starting off with caps, because I will probably be seventy years old and still be wearing necklaces as big as my head and obviously my words need to reflect my authentic self.) I mean, do you understand how many amazing things are happening right […]
Sep 22
2017
Sep 22, 2017
Here’s a totally-weird, slightly dizzying fact: Did you know that the moment you accept money in exchange for a service or product, you’ve automatically created a sole proprietorship in the eyes of the law? You don’t have to file as a formal business entity—YOU JUST ARE ONE. Which is crazy, right? It’s like immaculate fucking conception. […]
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[{"code":"Omg
[{"code":"Omg
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"label":"Fortune #1"
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
you SO already know the answer "
you SO already know the answer "
"label":"Fortune #2"
"label":"Fortune #2"
{"code":"If you have to ask
{"code":"If you have to ask
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
"label":"Fortune #3"
"label":"Fortune #3"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"label":"Fortune #4"
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
"label":"Fortune #5"
"label":"Fortune #5"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"label":"Fortune #6"
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
"label":"Fortune #7"
"label":"Fortune #7"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"label":"Fortune #8"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"label":"Fortune #9"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"label":"Fortune #10"
YES. thank you
YES. thank you
"label":"Fortune #11"
"label":"Fortune #11"
{"code":"If you don't quit
{"code":"If you don't quit
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"label":"Fortune #12"
)