The Blog

Nov 27

2019

Author Keeps Time Log That Shows 182 Emotions of Writing a Book From Start to Finish

Nov 27, 2019

At least, that’s what I’d title this if I were writing about myself in the third person. You know, like if The New York Times were to feature this article. Or on The Onion! Except The Onion headline would be much funnier. More like: “Time Log of Plump Author Shows Exactly How She Got So […]

In: Book Publishing, The Book

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Nov 18

2019

THE BIG BOOK COVER REVEAL! See Also: The Time I Tried to Convince You to Become a Serial Killer.

Nov 18, 2019

So guys, I’ve finally discovered “the secret to success”—and no, it does not require Himalayan bath salts*.   *Also does not require Ben Gay, thank god.   The real secret to success is in learning how to be both a lawyer and a serial killer, and I say that with all sincerity. [Insert image of […]

In: Book Publishing

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Nov 11

2019

Disobedient Book of the Week: Don’t Keep Your Day Job, by Cathy Heller

Nov 11, 2019

Omg, do you guys love how I just totally pretended I was a book critic and made it seem like I review one book a week? Who needs The New York Times when you’ve got The Middle Finger Project? Neck to neck, y’all. Neck to NECK. Here’s why I’m two-stepping into your inbox on this […]

In: Book Publishing

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Mar 29

2019

9 Rookie Mistakes I Made When I Wrote My Very First Book Proposal (Don’t Do This!)

Mar 29, 2019

I’m the first to admit I love doing things trial by fire. Such a masochist! But it’s true: I love being thrown into a tank full of sharks and then yelling, “COME FOR ME!” while simultaneously trying to figure out how the flipper to get out of there. (Haha, funny/sad?) I learn best this way—and […]

In: Book Publishing

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Mar 26

2019

Answers to Your Questions About Book Deals + The Publishing Process! (Plus An Army Tank, The Nickname “Butch,” and My Favorite New Compliment: CREAMY.)

Mar 26, 2019

Last week I asked: what questions do you have about the publishing process? Since I’m in the thick of it, and you’re my ride-or-die crew, I thought I’d bring you along on the journey. (Picture me holding the keys to a Ferrari. Except instead of a Ferrari it’s more like a tank. Can you imagine […]

In: Book Publishing

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Mar 19

2019

Writing a Book? Curious About the Publishing Process? Submit Your Q’s Here!

Mar 19, 2019

There are approximately ELEVENTY HUNDRED SURPRISING THINGS I’ve learned about book deals and the book publishing process that I never, ever, ever, ever knew. Take the hour-long call I had with my editor at Penguin, yesterday, as we discussed my manuscript and agreed on final edits. One of the things she wants me to do? […]

In: Book Publishing

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Nov 13

2018

The Top 10 Rookie Mistakes That Will Royally F*ck-Up Your Shot at a Book Deal, Y’all

Nov 13, 2018

Not being able to say what it’s about IN ONE SNAPPY “AH HA!” SENTENCE. In other words, the pitch. Oh, the pitch! I know, I know, you’re groaning already. But here’s the deal: you need to frame your work around a tight, contained hook that instantly makes sense to other people—and you have to do […]

In: Book Publishing

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Aug 10

2018

Writing Books, Trusting The Fuck Out Of Yourself, And The Golden Penis of Website Builders. (In Other Words, A Total Must-Read, You Guys.)

Aug 10, 2018

It’s Friday and I have so many things to tell you! First of all, have you ever read Caitlin Moran? Because if you haven’t, you need to. She’s funny as fuck. And she’s smart as fuck. And she’s British as fuck. Annnnnnnnnd, the real reason I’m telling you this is because I met with my new UK […]

In: Book Publishing

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May 15

2018

Lost Yourself in the Pursuit of “Big and Fucking Impressive?” I GOT A BOOK REC FOR YA.

May 15, 2018

For those of us who have found ourselves stuck in a cycle of hustling to prove that our life is good enough, over and over again. For those of us who have this nagging, crazy little itch on the inside of our minds, but keep worrying that it isn’t going to earn enough money, or it isn’t practical, or it’s […]

In: Book Publishing

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