Category: Creative Writing

Take Your Lazy Sentences And Piss Off. Politely.

Lazy sentences BOTHER ME. They bother me because it’s not really the sentence being lazy–it’s the person who wrote it. And if that person happens to be a business owner who’s trying to convince me to spend my hard-earned, sweat-soaked, time-drenched money with them? They better demonstrate that they actually WANT MY BUSINESS. Want it enough that they’ll actually think about the message they’re sending me. Through their sentences. Through their words. Through each and every carefully placed motherfucking punctuation

Sell More Stuff: Your Words Need to Repre-Fucking-Sent.

I’m going to tell you a little secret. It’s not a dirty little secret, but it might as well be. The secret is this: The key to selling your stuff? Isn’t about the size of your list. (That’s what she said.) In fact, it isn’t about a lot of the things you’re worried that it might be. The key to selling your stuff is actually a lot more simple: You have to learn to talk about your stuff the right

How to Make The World Give a Shit About You

:: When I first started having sex, I worried I wouldn’t be sexy enough–and that I’d be a sore disappointment. :: When I worked in advertising sales, the first time I ever had to do a nation-wide cold-calling contest…I was so wracked with nerves, I sat at my desk shaking, sipping vodka from a thermos. :: There was a point in my life when I was so self-conscious, that anytime I talked, I was certain the other person was wishing