Category: Pricing & Money

SWEATY ARMPIT ALERT: 67% of the people that were about to give you money…don’t.

Ever think you’ve got Alzheimer’s, or am I the only asshole running around forgetting the word “lollipop?” Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than forgetting the word “lollipop” in front of a stranger. It’s not like it’s some academic word one could be forgiven for forgetting, like idiosyncrasy—which I feel like is forgivable. I mean, nobody’s running around saying that word five times a day. But when you’re in the middle of a riveting conversation about the United States

Business Lacking Direction? Start With the Money.

Imagine you’re seven years old, and you’ve never cooked anything before, so help your Fisher Price kitchenette. But suddenly you’re home alone, and you’re tasked with making yourself a meal. So naturally, you do what any seven year old would do: You get a big pot, and you start putting your favorite things into it. Pepperoni pizza—fucking delicious. Chips Ahoy? Goin’ IN. Strawberry Pop Tarts—who’s your daddy. What’s up, meatballs! Dash of chocolate syrup… Some leftover mashed potatoes… Three frozen

Caution: Stop Masturbating With Your Money.

Last year I had $224,225.77 in business expenses. That’s a metric fuck ton of cash for a small business to be throwing down, and probably more than my mother ever made in her entire life. And yet, I’ve never been so pleased and here’s why: When you do it right, your expenses aren’t expenses. They’re tools. Most people are afraid to spend money. They’re afraid it won’t be worth it. But, is that what they’re really worried about? When you’re

Hourly or Retainer OR….

» Cash flow challenged? » Do a bunch of work you won’t get paid for until you bill next month? » Burned in the past by clients who disappear & never actually pay the bill? No, this is actually not the opening to an infomercial, as much as I’d love to show up on my ex’s television screen at 3am. But it is a problem that a lot of creatives have. And so, a lot of creatives turn to the

How to Save Money For People Who Are Notoriously Bad At Saving Money

You haven’t started saving for retirement yet. You don’t know how you’re going to pay your taxes (because you haven’t been keeping up with—what are those silly things called?—quarterly payments.) You certainly don’t have a rainy day fund. <—Said while laughing hysterically into your beer. And college? Well, the kids will just have to open a lemonade stand. (And charge $100 a glass.) Disciplining yourself to save is hard: especially when it feels like you’re just barely scraping by. But

Are You Making Money or Losing It? Also: Porridge

It’s never just about the money coming in; you have to consider the money going out. When you take on a job, sure, you might earn $5,000. But what’s the cost of earning it? If you have to forfeit 3 other projects (and your favorite Wednesday night TV show) for a combined total revenue of $15,000, you’re not making money. You’re losing it. As an example, when our team embarks on a copywriting project, oftentimes we get asked for heavy

Creating New Offerings–or Revising Your Old? Grab Wine. Listen Up.

Don’t ever buy wine with me. I’m warning you. I’ll be the jerk all the way over in the corner in Aisle 7 trying to buy the obscure, unpronounceable wine that no one’s ever heard of–partly because it helps me with my All-American complex (you know, the one where you realize you’re not exotic at ALL), and partly because snooty wine labels with edges that have been HAND SINGED by the blaze of an elderly Italian man in a faraway

Not Making As Much Money As You’d Like? Time to Fix That.

Money. You have enough, or you don’t. Over the years, I’ve do-si-doed around both sides of that dichotomy. As a pre-teen, my mom and I sometimes had to borrow money to buy a roll of one-ply toilet paper to get us through the weekend. Scott brand. I remember it was Scott, because it was always Scott. I wasn’t allowed to buy anything else. But I always secretly longed for Charmin. I so desperately wanted to be the kind of people

How To Get People To Spend Way More Money Than They Planned. Tango References Included.

Ever been to Buenos Aires? No? Well me fucking either. Which is precisely why I just booked a plane ticket. Who lives in Santiago, Chile and never goes to Buenos Aires? Morons, that’s who. Determined to not be a moron (unless we’re talking about in the kitchen; in the kitchen I’m always a moron), I’m gonna shim-shim-shimmy on over there and see how many tango couples I can trip. Thought you were real fancy with all that leg kicking, didn’t