Category: Pricing & Money

Ever think you’ve got Alzheimer’s, or am I the only asshole running around forgetting the word “lollipop?” Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than forgetting the word “lollipop” in front of a stranger. It’s not like it’s some academic word one could be forgiven for forgetting, like idiosyncrasy—which I feel like is forgivable. I mean, nobody’s running around saying that word five times a day. But when you’re in the middle of a riveting conversation about the United States

Imagine you’re seven years old, and you’ve never cooked anything before, so help your Fisher Price kitchenette. But suddenly you’re home alone, and you’re tasked with making yourself a meal. So naturally, you do what any seven year old would do: You get a big pot, and you start putting your favorite things into it. Pepperoni pizza—fucking delicious. Chips Ahoy? Goin’ IN. Strawberry Pop Tarts—who’s your daddy. What’s up, meatballs! Dash of chocolate syrup… Some leftover mashed potatoes… Three frozen

Last year I had $224,225.77 in business expenses. That’s a metric fuck ton of cash for a small business to be throwing down, and probably more than my mother ever made in her entire life. And yet, I’ve never been so pleased and here’s why: When you do it right, your expenses aren’t expenses. They’re tools. Most people are afraid to spend money. They’re afraid it won’t be worth it. But, is that what they’re really worried about? When you’re

» Cash flow challenged? » Do a bunch of work you won’t get paid for until you bill next month? » Burned in the past by clients who disappear & never actually pay the bill? No, this is actually not the opening to an infomercial, as much as I’d love to show up on my ex’s television screen at 3am. But it is a problem that a lot of creatives have. And so, a lot of creatives turn to the

It’s never just about the money coming in; you have to consider the money going out. When you take on a job, sure, you might earn $5,000. But what’s the cost of earning it? If you have to forfeit 3 other projects (and your favorite Wednesday night TV show) for a combined total revenue of $15,000, you’re not making money. You’re losing it. As an example, when our team embarks on a copywriting project, oftentimes we get asked for heavy

Don’t ever buy wine with me. I’m warning you. I’ll be the jerk all the way over in the corner in Aisle 7 trying to buy the obscure, unpronounceable wine that no one’s ever heard of–partly because it helps me with my All-American complex (you know, the one where you realize you’re not exotic at ALL), and partly because snooty wine labels with edges that have been HAND SINGED by the blaze of an elderly Italian man in a faraway

Money. You have enough, or you don’t. Over the years, I’ve do-si-doed around both sides of that dichotomy. As a pre-teen, my mom and I sometimes had to borrow money to buy a roll of one-ply toilet paper to get us through the weekend. Scott brand. I remember it was Scott, because it was always Scott. I wasn’t allowed to buy anything else. But I always secretly longed for Charmin. I so desperately wanted to be the kind of people

Ever been to Buenos Aires? No? Well me fucking either. Which is precisely why I just booked a plane ticket. Who lives in Santiago, Chile and never goes to Buenos Aires? Morons, that’s who. Determined to not be a moron (unless we’re talking about in the kitchen; in the kitchen I’m always a moron), I’m gonna shim-shim-shimmy on over there and see how many tango couples I can trip. Thought you were real fancy with all that leg kicking, didn’t