Category: Productive Mother

On Being DONE With Your Work: A Guilt-Free Approach to To-Do Lists

There’s something to be said about being DONE. I mean, do you ever feel like anything is done? Probably not! We’re living in a world where nothing is ever done. How could it be, when everything is an ongoing conversation? This is why I find it nearly impossible to text people back. Because once I do, I think I’ve gotten it off my to-do list, but then balls on a stick! THEN THEY TEXT BACK! And then I’ve got yet

Feeling Overwhelmed (And Who Friggin’ Isn’t?): Ask Yourself This Three-Word Question

There are loadssss of questions I ask myself during the day. Things like, “Where have all the cowboys gone?” and “How awkward was my hello to the neighbor just now?!” And “I’ve eaten two salads in a row—AM I SKINNY YET?” But those are just the kinds of questions you ask yourself when you’re a fucking nutcase. Those fun bags aside, there is another question I ask myself when I’m feigning “responsible person who acts with intention and actually PLANS

Do It Or Dump It? A Note About Selecting Your Priorities Like a Badass Bitch.

Today in Philly I tried on THE MOST AMAZING COAT. It was black. Slinky. Faux fur. The kind of coat that fuck you women wear. (They’re a special kind of breed, you know.) I was down to buy this coat. And by “buy” it, I actually mean take it home and roll around naked in it FOR DAYS. DAYS!!! The neighbors would think I was dead! There’d be empty pizza boxes everywhere! The phone would ring and ring and ring,

We Are Overthinking EVERYTHING

We’ve all got these really exhausting mental scripts we tell ourselves. For example, earlier today I was telling myself I was going to exercise, but then I told myself that, well, maybe notttttt, because I had something heavy for lunccchhhh, so I probably wouldn’t have the energggggy, and then it’d be harder than usuaaaal, and then I’d hate every minute of ittttt, and then I’d be reminded of how much I succccck, and then it might discourage meeeeee, and then

Every Item On Your To-Do List is a Miniature Contribution To the World

You know, after the Vegas shooting, I thought a moment of silence, here on the blog, would be appropriate. Every time a tragedy like this occurs, I am reminded of how insignificant everything else is. To jump into your inbox the next day yapping about refund policies and client contracts would be in poor taste. It’s not only indelicate, but there’s a part of me that can’t help but feel that it’s inhumane. And then the storm hit. I am

How to Be the Most Productive Motherfauxer in the Room

When I first started working for myself, I was like: OH HEY I HAVE ALL THESE HOURS! LOOK AT THEM IN ALL THEIR GLOWY DELIGHT! If the idea was to “be booked,” then great—I would be motherfauxing booked. (Get it? It’s the faux fuck, and it’s coming to a screen near you.) The surprise, of course, was that getting the work wasn’t the hard part: it was planning out the work. What I didn’t realize, then, is that time is

The Answer To: “Where Do You Get The TIME?!?!”

Me: I’m writing a book! People: Where do you get the TIME? Me: Every morning! People: WHERE DO YOU GET THE TIIIIIMMEEEEEEE?! Me: It’s in my schedule. Every morning, from 5am to 8am. People: But I could never cooooommmmmiiiiiittttttt to thaaaaatttttttt. Me: So what do you do when you have a client that needs something, or your boss? People: I do it on their time. Me: So do I. People: Huh? Me: I AM the client. This is a conversation

The 140 Character Email: An Experiment in Sanity

You know the email. The one you’re dreading responding to—not because of what it says, but because the second you open it, all you see is A GIANT, LOOMING TSUNAMI OF TEXT lurching at your face as if the sender had taken the entire Sunday edition of The New York Times, reformatted it into one column, printed it off onto a roll of 1992 perforated computer paper, and then laughed as they lit it on fire and dropped it off

Email Is a Disease (And Why My New Email Policy Is Going to Piss the World Off)

The most dangerous threat you’ll ever face in business is yourself. You’ll be too nice when you should be firm. You’ll be too lax when you should be disciplined. You’ll drink too much wine when you should drink water. *looks around room innocently* Andddddd, not to bring it up (okay, fine, I’M BRINGING IT UP) you will answer every last email that does a cannonball into your inbox…when you should be answering to yourself. A few years ago when I

Turns Out, You *Can’t* Do it All—So How Do You Pick?

You know who’s funny? People who try to do everything. Talk about a dysfunctional relationship with time. Contrary to popular opinion, time is not always there for you when you need it. Yet, then you are all cute, telling yourself you’ll just “fit it in”—whatever “it” might be that day. Why does everyone think they’ll fit it in? Nobody ever fits it in. You know what you fit in? About two or three things a day, max. That’s it. That’s