ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Feeling Overwhelmed (And Who Friggin’ Isn’t?): Ask Yourself This Three-Word Question

In: Productive Mother

There are loadssss of questions I ask myself during the day.

Things like, “Where have all the cowboys gone?” and “How awkward was my hello to the neighbor just now?!” And “I’ve eaten two salads in a row—AM I SKINNY YET?”

But those are just the kinds of questions you ask yourself when you’re a fucking nutcase. Those fun bags aside, there is another question I ask myself when I’m feigning “responsible person who acts with intention and actually PLANS THINGS in her life.” (Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaaaaa. HA HAAAA.)

It’s only got three little words. Ready? Are you ready for this? The three-word very-important question is this:

To. What. End?

To what endddddddd?

Why are you currently making a YouTube video while writing a speech proposal while answering your Insta DMs and volunteering to barter with that lady and getting your Facebook group going and simultaneously trying to knit that bastard a scarf?

There are lots of things we do because they seem like things that will somehow help us in the future. But “somehow” is the real culprit here, because if you’re filling your life doing a bunch of things that don’t have a clear path to “NEXT,” then your life is going to not only be impossible to manage (picture yourself glassy-eyed at two o’clock in the morning sitting cross-legged in your living room screaming, “Whyyyy? WHYYYYY?!?!”)—but you’re also not going to achieve much. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been spinning your wheels, this might be why.

Goals, as annoying as that word is, are important: it’s the only way you know what makes sense to do today.

Otherwise? Everything you do ends up being a crapshoot. Except it doesn’t look like a crapshoot when you can label it “productive.”

But, is it?

Aug 7

2015

The Answer To: “Where Do You Get The TIME?!?!”

Aug 7, 2015

Me: I’m writing a book! People: Where do you get the TIME? Me: Every morning! People: WHERE DO YOU GET THE TIIIIIMMEEEEEEE?! Me: It’s in my schedule. Every morning, from 5am to 8am. People: But I could never cooooommmmmiiiiiittttttt to thaaaaatttttttt. Me: So what do you do when you have a client that needs something, […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

Mar 11

2015

You’re always going to have fifty million things to do—PLUS that asshole’s bar mitzvah.

Mar 11, 2015

There’s a lot of pressure these days to be perfect. (Says the girl carrying thirty extra pounds and a dysfunctional pouty face.) As someone who used to be very all-or-nothing, over the years I’ve had to make some major peace with the fact that all-or-nothing is a gigantic, sweaty faced fool’s errand. :: How many times have you thought about […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

May 30

2017

How to Be the Most Productive Motherfauxer in the Room

May 30, 2017

When I first started working for myself, I was like: OH HEY I HAVE ALL THESE HOURS! LOOK AT THEM IN ALL THEIR GLOWY DELIGHT! If the idea was to “be booked,” then great—I would be motherfauxing booked. (Get it? It’s the faux fuck, and it’s coming to a screen near you.) The surprise, of […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

Jul 2

2015

Turns Out, You *Can’t* Do it All—So How Do You Pick?

Jul 2, 2015

You know who’s funny? People who try to do everything. Talk about a dysfunctional relationship with time. Contrary to popular opinion, time is not always there for you when you need it. Yet, then you are all cute, telling yourself you’ll just “fit it in”—whatever “it” might be that day. Why does everyone think they’ll fit it in? […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

Oct 12

2017

We Are Overthinking EVERYTHING

Oct 12, 2017

We’ve all got these really exhausting mental scripts we tell ourselves. For example, earlier today I was telling myself I was going to exercise, but then I told myself that, well, maybe notttttt, because I had something heavy for lunccchhhh, so I probably wouldn’t have the energggggy, and then it’d be harder than usuaaaal, and […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

Jan 3

2014

Feel Guilty Anytime You’re Not “Being Productive”?

Jan 3, 2014

I wrote today’s tip earlier today about copywriting. It was pretty fucking good, actually. I might have even made a joke about ham. But then I stalled. I hated the tip. The tip was useful, for sure. The tip was original, most definitely. And the tip was something that some people might have even printed […]

In: Productive Mother

READ ME >>

I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here