ASH AMBIRGE

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Do It Or Dump It? A Note About Selecting Your Priorities Like a Badass Bitch.

In: Productive Mother

Today in Philly I tried on THE MOST AMAZING COAT.

It was black. Slinky. Faux fur. The kind of coat that fuck you women wear. (They’re a special kind of breed, you know.)

I was down to buy this coat. And by “buy” it, I actually mean take it home and roll around naked in it FOR DAYS. DAYS!!! The neighbors would think I was dead! There’d be empty pizza boxes everywhere! The phone would ring and ring and ring, and I wouldn’t answer it for anyone! WHO DARE CALL ME NOW?

And then I went into the dressing room and…gasped.

Like, audibly.

I looked like a house.

Could I have worn it? Sure. But was it doing me any favors? NOT A SINGLE ONE. And I remember my mother used to say that, sometimes, when we’d go shopping. “Eh, it looks alright, but it’s not doing me any favors.”

And so now, it’s become my own personal policy. I only buy if a piece is doing me (a huge fucking) favor—not if it just lays there like a limp piece of cheese cloth. Because anyone can put clothes on themselves, but not everyone can dress themselves—and this is something I’m always trying to get better at.

And so today, there in that dressing room, as I took that coat off as quickly as humanly possible, I thought about what a useful policy this would be for the way we work.

What things are you doing every day that aren’t doing you any favors?

What things are just okay?

What things could you take or leave?

And what are the things that, when you do them, make you feel fucking fantastic—and what are the things that don't?

There’s lots of stuff you *could* do, but that doesn’t mean you should.

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You know the email. The one you’re dreading responding to—not because of what it says, but because the second you open it, all you see is A GIANT, LOOMING TSUNAMI OF TEXT lurching at your face as if the sender had taken the entire Sunday edition of The New York Times, reformatted it into one […]

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2017

We Are Overthinking EVERYTHING

We’ve all got these really exhausting mental scripts we tell ourselves. For example, earlier today I was telling myself I was going to exercise, but then I told myself that, well, maybe notttttt, because I had something heavy for lunccchhhh, so I probably wouldn’t have the energggggy, and then it’d be harder than usuaaaal, and […]

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Jul 2

2015

Turns Out, You *Can’t* Do it All—So How Do You Pick?

You know who’s funny? People who try to do everything. Talk about a dysfunctional relationship with time. Contrary to popular opinion, time is not always there for you when you need it. Yet, then you are all cute, telling yourself you’ll just “fit it in”—whatever “it” might be that day. Why does everyone think they’ll fit it in? […]

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Aug 7

2015

The Answer To: “Where Do You Get The TIME?!?!”

Me: I’m writing a book! People: Where do you get the TIME? Me: Every morning! People: WHERE DO YOU GET THE TIIIIIMMEEEEEEE?! Me: It’s in my schedule. Every morning, from 5am to 8am. People: But I could never cooooommmmmiiiiiittttttt to thaaaaatttttttt. Me: So what do you do when you have a client that needs something, […]

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Mar 11

2015

You’re always going to have fifty million things to do—PLUS that asshole’s bar mitzvah.

There’s a lot of pressure these days to be perfect. (Says the girl carrying thirty extra pounds and a dysfunctional pouty face.) As someone who used to be very all-or-nothing, over the years I’ve had to make some major peace with the fact that all-or-nothing is a gigantic, sweaty faced fool’s errand. :: How many times have you thought about […]

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