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1. Because watching people whose first language isn’t English, try to sing along with “Deck The Halls,” is hilarious. 2. Brazilian butts or Santa’s gut–you pick. 3. No more unhealthy fantasies about ripping that damn bell out of the hands of the skinny guy with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and sticking it […]
The year I tried to juggle 1,407 balls in the air and still be nice to strangers in the super market taught me an important lesson: Busy isn’t a synonym for happy. Full doesn’t mean fulfilled. And people are pushy assholes in line at the deli counter. All of us are busying ourselves to death—sometimes […]
There’s a strong possibility I’ll be diagnosed with systemic lupus on August 15th. (Update: I didn’t. In fact, I’m healthier than ever. Blood tests are crafty little fuckers, huh?) My latest book proposal was rejected. I had to fire an employee yesterday because she neglected to get a client contract signed. I ignore friends and […]
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