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Introducing the World’s Newest Form of Religion

We hear it all the time:

FIND MEANING IN YOUR LIFE.

It’s become the advice du jour.  The magical solution to our woes.  The on-call prescription for disappointment with life.  The hope we hold onto, when our own has abandoned us.

In a sense, the search for meaning has become a religion of its own.

We worship its ideals, and bow at its implications.  We’re kept awake at night, hoping to form a relationship with meaning.  We want to feel its presence so deeply in our lives, but at times, we tend to lose faith when it doesn’t manifest itself to us right away.

In many ways, meaning has been put up on a pedestal as a savior.

Unlike traditional forms of religion, however, this religion–the search for meaning–is far more compelling in terms of conversions, because there are many who have walked before us who have actually seemed to find it.  I certainly don’t need to go door-to-door pedaling copies of the newest testament in hand (whose cover would likely feature a Hanes underwear model, because I’m the one making this all up and I’ve decided that Hanes underwear models should be plastered on as many objects as possible within my line of vision, thank you very much) because the proof is in the pudding.  We see other people leading these lives just oozing with meaning–you know the type–and by golly, we’re just dying for someone to take a chicken baster already and just douse us with all their might.  (Overboard?  I’ll settle down with strange image-evoking metaphors.)

We want so desperately to find meaning in our lives, that when we don’t find it instantaneously, we stomp up and down, cross our arms with frustration, and march on back to the land of superficial happiness.  Superficial or not, at least it’s readily available.  Big screen, big screen, who wants a big screen?

It’s the easy way out.

Truth be told, the search for meaning is hard.  It sounds like a bunch of lollipops and fun in the sun, but it’s a grueling process if you’re starting from scratch.  Even the goal itself–meaning–is rather vague and elusive.  What does meaning, well…mean, anyway?  If we don’t have a clear idea of what meaning is in the first place, how are we suppose to go out and get some?

My answer:

Meaning is emotion.

When that one thing drives us to truly feel–be it elation, somberness, excitedness, worry, etc.–it brings us meaning.  Something can only mean as much as we feel it.  For example, writing to me is highly meaningful, because of the feelings that come with it.  Intense joy.  Fear.  Pride.  Wonder.  Challenge.  Satisfaction in knowing that no matter how fleeting life can be, words are permanent.  Fascination with the human ability to communicate.  Amusement when attractive readers from Indianapolis ask me to weddings.  You know, the usush.

In many cases, relationships become meaningful to people, because of the feelings they attach to them (rapture, exhilaration, enchantment, sensuality, security).

In other cases, hobbies like sports become meaningful to people, because of the feelings they attach to them (loyalty, unity, pride, pleasure, desire to have an excuse to drink beer).

Meaning is not inherent; it is derived only when we assign meaning, which we do because we feel strongly about something.

As it turns out, feelings are running this crazy, crazy world of ours.

Not just individual feelings, but collective feelings as well.  It’s precisely how societies are formed, with their expectations and cultural norms; the group, as a whole, shares a general feeling toward something, and as a result, that something ends up representing great meaning for a society.  Take funnel cake, for example.

Therefore, it seems to go without saying that when we deny ourselves the ability to feel; when we push our emotions to the side, and aimlessly keep on doing what we’ve always done, meaning will never reveal itself to us.  It can’t.  Because it’s personal.  And if we don’t take it personally and run the emotional risk, then we’ll remain indifferent to life, to the world around us, and to ourselves.  And not only is that unfortunate, but it’s incredibly boring as well.  You might as well be dead.

Risk equals reward.  Risk equals reward.  Risk equals reward.

If you liked that jazz. . .check out some of these:

  • matthewneedham

    I find that people who are looking for meaning in their lives typically are unhappy with themselves. If they lean to 'love' themselves then they don't need to look for meaning elsewhere. Just a thought…

  • Raquel Elle Bell

    Hope was the last thing Pandora let out of her box. Commanded by Zeus that after all of the evil, plagues, and pestilence that the last thing that Zeus gave to man was hope to prolong his suffering and to ensure that he was always chasing things he could never achieve.

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  • http://www.sexycopy.org k0zm0zs0ul

    And I'll say it again.. risk equals reward! :) Great post Ash, as usual… I definitely think equating the word 'meaning' with 'feeling' is completely accurate.  Anything that evokes emotion then holds meaningful value, no matter the emotion.  If you go out for a morning jog, and on the way meet another fellow jogger you then end up having coffee and an amazing connection with.. suddenly that run had meaning, because you met someone and emotions were put into play.

    If you go to Walmart and get in an argument with someone in the checkout line.. that trip to Walmart suddenly had meaning because you remember it as that day you got in a fight with that crazy chick. 

    The thing though is it's up to YOU to find fulfillment in that meaning.. not every emotion or feeling is worthwhile or worth holding on to.  Getting in a fight with the crazy lady, while invoking emotion (aka meaning), it is a negative experience, and not worth remembering or holding on to.  That run that you met someone amazing on however, is a positive experience that should be cherished forever.

    At least that's my convoluted take on the topic, lol hopefully it made sense! :D

    C

  • http://lynnfang.com Lynn

    It's true, most people want meaning to chance upon them, fall into their laps, so they can wave it to the world. I agree with Brett too, most people think that meaning = easy, when in fact it is just a reason to keep living and doing what you've been doing (or do something more interesting). I would place blame on the ego. The ego wants instant gratification. If the ego sees another happy person full of meaning, the ego wants it too, thinking their lives will be complete once meaning has been discovered. But no, the journey continues onward, to new paths and new thoughts and new experiences. And then, meaning can morph and become something new and different.

  • http://askexperience.com Brett

    First time at TMF – and I dig dig dig your writing style (found ya via WBSQ).

    On to this post: I agree with what you're saying to a large extent, but if you'll allow me (and I'm sure you will…), I'll take your theory one step further: we find meaning in whatever makes us feel ALIVE. This is just a teeny-tiny step past your declaration that meaning is in emotion – after all, you can't feel when you're dead, can you? But attaching it to life makes it so much more… inspiring, I guess; it makes it seem positive rather than negative (for some reason, emotions have a bad rap in our society).

    And you caught onto this in your last paragraph – we can't do any of this when we're dead. No feeling. No arbitrary “meaning”.

    But you know what? If I were a betting man (and most of the time, I am), I'd wager that 99% of people who are looking for some kind of “meaning” or “purpose” in their lives are hoping it's the magic pill that will make life “easy” for them (whatever that means). They think that, once they find this magical “meaning” and become enlightened as to their entire purpose for existing, they'll be able to put their heads down and work on that “purpose” 'til the day they die.

    Ergo, their meaning will be precisely the thing that prevents them from risking, since fulfilling their purpose, to them, is walking along some sort of preordained path where everything will be okay for them as long as they just stick to it.

    …But, unfortunately, it's not quite like that. Life doesn't ever get “easier” if you want to grow and get rewarded. In fact, it gets harder as you constantly push yourself to break from the path and do what you want.

    To summarize: you don't find meaning in life, you make it.

    P.S. Check your email, Ash.

  • http://frombottomup.com/ Hulbert

    Hi Ashley, this is kind of true by meaning is emotion. When I went to the temple that was by my house and prayed, I felt a sense of emotion that was very peaceful and serene. I'm pretty sure that the people next to me also felt the same kind of peaceful feeling with me. I think people's religion, whether it's Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, or other, give them a sense of meaning through connecting with a force outside of themselves, and they can definitely feel this connection through emotion as well.

    But like you say, meaning doesn't have to just come from a religion; it can come from anything that gives us emotion. Writing would be one example. I think it's something that all of us here can relate to. The more we explore what we can say, the more meaning we get from it, the more emotion we feel, and as a result, it becomes sort of like a “religion” itself because we become so devoted to it.

    Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love, said, “I believe that – if you are serious about a life of writing, or indeed about any creative form of expression – that you should take on this work like a holy calling. I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns. I made a vow to writing, very young. I became Bride-of-Writing. I was writing's most devotional handmaiden. I built my entire life around writing. I didn't know how else to do this.”

    Thanks for the post Ashley. Keep up the good work!

  • http://www.way2hype.com 1976Hoosiers

    God that Indy guy must have been crushed by the rejection :) Have fun on your trip! and get your cellphone back so I can place you back in my drunk text cross hairs !!

    Awesome write! Its so true that everyone over commits to things and when something goes against the plan they chalk the whole project up as a failure! It so easy to do, but if most people look back at their “accomplishments” in their life they only tend to remember the positives of them and forget how much work, sacrifice, failure, and basically every negative feeling you can think of was involved in accomplishing their goal! “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Moliere

    • http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

      I can't resist threadjacking… Scott May taught at my high school.

      They won in 76 right? And I thnk again in 80.  Don't remember the game. Do remember the campus riot.

      • http://www.way2hype.com 1976Hoosiers

        Oh yeah 32-0 last team to go undefeated! Scott May was a beast!! No campus riots here a little before my time! but love IU love Bloomington and love hoosier bball!!

  • http://www.livecollarfree.com/ James Schipper

    I think you're selling the meaning question short by comparing it to religion. One of the main points of religion is to attempt to supply an answer to that very question. It serves to help people deal with the possible truth that there is no such thing as “meaning” to their lives, and tries to provide a meaning. Religion, Patriotism, leaving a legacy: all attempts to answer the question of the meaning of life and to cope with the fact that everyone of us is going to die. I believe you are onto it when you say it is personal to each of us.

    The “Meaning of Life” is the higher riddle that nobody has ever truly solved, though there is no shortage of people who will tell you otherwise. It is also one of the funnier of the Monty Python films, but that wasn't really where you were going.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=40600429 Kaity Nicastri

    usush?
    Love this post … I find that a lotof people are searching for “meaning” in their life, but don't realize that they would have it if they would just invest themselves emotionally!

  • http://fungeezer.com Steve

    I don't think the idea of trying to find meaning in our lives is anything new, just “new and improved.” One catechism answers the question, “What is the meaning of life” with “to serve God.” People from the beginning of time have been trying to figure out what this thing is all about. Some say it is all about pleasure, some say giving to others.

    My personal view, not to be confused with fact, is that we are all here to be the reflection of the Infinite in the best way we can. For you that means words, written, spoken, whatever. For someone else, something different.

    I agree with Andrew that we need to make sure that the emotions, feelings, goals, whatever you want to call them, that drive us are indeed ours. We cannot be someone else's reflection. As the not so old saying goes, why not be yourself, everybody else is taken.

  • http://preferredvendor.com Brian Meeks

    I enjoyed your post.  I think your conclusions are solid.  I personally do find satisfaction in many things which I choose to do, and that is why I keep doing them.  In fact, without emotion, nobody would golf.  It is the highs and lows that frustrating game brings, which makes it so much fun.

  • http://evolvify.com Andrew

    I'm with you on the feeling as a goal part, but we diverge toward the end.

    “As it turns out, feelings are running this crazy, crazy world of ours.”

    I'm actually with you on that point too, but the next paragraph is problematic…

    “Not just individual feelings, but collective feelings as well. It’s precisely how societies are formed, with their expectations and cultural norms; the group, as a whole, shares a general feeling toward something, and as a result, that something ends up representing great meaning for a society.”

    Societies, and all of their accouterments, are formed based on the feelings of the powerful. The potential problems with that in itself would be bad enough, but it's much much worse. The controlling power structures are also aware that emotion is running “things”. Unfortunately, these “things” are often people that are being run by emotion, rather than for emotion.

    So I guess I'd just add to your main point by saying that… while chasing superficial objects is a hollow goal, it's just as important to make sure our emotions really are our emotions and not superficial artifacts of manipulation. Emotional manipulation is easy and much more powerful than material and/or logical desires so this is of no small importance.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=40600429 Kaity Nicastri

      I like that you make the point that societies are based on the feelings of the powerful.
      However, the everyday cultural aspects of a society (like the Chilean love of football/soccer, completos, speaking in sayings, slang and stories, and drinking pisco) are more things that develop because of the passion of the people. Those are the things that will sustain and give meaning to their personal lives and their community life, and even their national life.
      I heartily agree that assuring that our emotions and meaning are our meaning (and not that of MTV, the Dems or the GOP) is a vital act of being human – critical thought is key to having true meaning and true ownership of your emotions!

      • TMFproject

        @Andrew @Kaity
        Thank you, Kaity, for making the same point I would have and saving me from the work.  :p Andrew and I are in love, so I don't take him too seriously.  Haha.  In other contexts, feelings of the powerful do rule; however, that wasn't what I was referring to here.  Love you both!

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