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Beating, Stomping and Otherwise Assassinating The Voice In Your Head That Says “You Can’t.” Violently.

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

It's that fear.

It's that dirty little lurking thought in the back of your head that moseys on up to the forefront every single time you're finally prepared to step up to the plate and take a chance in life.

You're not smart enough.

You don't know what you're doing.

People will see right through you.

This is never going to work.

Who do you think you are?

You're a foolish ox.

Yes, that's right, I said it: OX.


Stop being so impractical.

Your! Idea! Is! Stupid!

And those pants you're wearing?

What were you thinking?

You should really be on a diet.


How can you be successful in anything else if you can't even lose 10 pounds?

I told you this was a bad idea.

You and your ideas.

You're never going to get anywhere, because while you're busy wasting all of your time twirling your hair with your head in the clouds….everyone else is working hard, saving money and building families.

And at the end of the day, they're going to have nice, stable lives, and you're still going to be stammering around, looking for something that probably doesn't even exist.

You're so naive.

You and your damn ideas.

Just do what everyone else is doing for once, and stop questioning everything already.

You try so hard to be special, but really you're a no one.

So start acting like it.


Sound familiar?

We are experts at beating the crap out of ourselves; which, by the way, I've always found interesting, since unless we were seriously abusive, most of us would never, ever, ever say those things to a friend.  So why is it okay for ourselves?

That's exactly it–oftentimes, we aren't our own friend. We give and we give and we give to everyone who needs us, supporting them throughout their journey, acting like their rock, building up their confidence, bringing them up when they feel down, reassuring them that everything will be okay, and generally helping to validate them and their ideas, and provide as much encouragement as we can.

Because that's what friends do.

But the moment that WE need support. The moment that WE need reassurance. The moment that WE need validation. The moment that WE need ourselves more than ever…….we pull a snide little disappearing act.

Instead of being supportive, kind and gentle with ourselves, we switch on the other voice–the fear voice.  The one who just called you an Ox and meant it.

The voice doesn't go away.

It keeps popping up time and time again, putting you down and making you question yourself, causing a whole mess of doubt, fear and neurosis.

And because it's so damn loud, most of the time you can't help but listen to it–like the sound of a train passing by when you're standing right next to the track.

As a result, as the years have gone by, this bastard–this voice–is so loud, and so present, that it begins RUNNING YOUR LIFE.

Which inevitably means that YOU are NOT.

And doesn't THAT make you a little mad inside?

The Solution to the Unknown

As most of you know, I spent the summer driving around the United States, meeting readers and lots and lots of new faces, and just generally doing A LOT of talking.

We talked about goals, dreams, ideas, plans, businesses, passions and everything in between.

And after all that talking, if there's one thing I could identify–one principal reason why people aren't getting out there and reaching these goals, acting on these dreams, and trusting in these passions, it's because of that damn voice.

Fear of the unknown.

In many cases, their fear voice was saying to them:

You don't know how to make it happen.

You're not skilled enough.

You lack so much to be desired.

And, yeah, that voice can be a real burden. But here's the thing about those objections:  Anytime you hear yourself second guessing because you don't have enough information, things seem overwhelming, and you don't know how….you know what you do?


And inevitably, you'll find that as you learn more, you gain more confidence, and that voice gets softer, and softer, until your own finally starts being heard.

And boom.

The universe just got a little brighter, indeed.

It's About Time We Silence That Voice. It's About Time We Start Taking Leaps. It's About Time We Start LIVING.

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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