ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.

In: Finding Your Voice

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan.

Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sunroof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can't pay your $41 minimum payment because you've got negative $12 in your bank account, having borderline nervous breakdowns over what Equifax is going to have to say about all this, showering once every other day whenever someone is kind enough to let you use their water, subsisting on coffee and McDonald's Snack Wraps, and finally starting to grasp why the homeless have a reputation for being alcoholics.

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan, and you can't seem to reach the plug, so all you can do is duck and then curl up into the fetal position, and hope it doesn't hit you too hard.

Sometimes, the there's going to be a whole bunch of obstacles and challenges that feel almost as if there's an evil man with a curly mustache and maroon-colored, 1980's style gym shorts in the clouds whose sole job is to make your life hell and watch with delight as you struggle to manage while he slowly sips on a vat of Banker's Club brandy from a gaudy crystal glass.

Sometimes, it's going to seem that bad.

Sometimes, it's going to feel impossible.

Sometimes, you're going to be launched into a bout of despair.

Sometimes, NOTHING.  WILL.  SEEM.  FAIR.

Sometimes, everything will seem bleak.

Sometimes, everything will BE bleak.

And you'll be angry.

And it will break your heart.

And you'll start to question everything about yourself.

Your intelligence, your choices, your dreams, your LIFE.

You'll wonder:  Am I fooling myself?  Who am I to have such big aspirations?  Obviously I'm not good enough, or I wouldn't be living out of my car, eating McDonald's snack wraps and having delusional thoughts about men in maroon-colored gym shorts.

And–dammit!–you'll start to withdraw.  You'll start to step back from the war against mediocrity.  You'll feel intimidated, and then you'll feel petrified, and THEN you will let those feelings decide the outcome of your life.

DO NOT LET YOURSELF BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES.

Because sometimes, you've just got to pick yourself up off the bar floor with all your might, use all of your remaining energy to dust the empty peanut shells off your jacket, and GO AT IT AGAIN.

This is not a post about imagining the silver lining.

This is about taking the sharpest knife you can find, cutting through all of the bullshit, and yanking that lining out with your bare hands.

That's all that we can do.

So,

Be confident in your quest.

Be arrogant when it comes to your desires.

And be downright defiant when it comes to adversity.

There is no other way.

 

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2017

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You should know that I have officially discovered THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER BEEN MADE (after Cards Against Humanity, of course) and I had to share with you because I don’t keep anything from you (except for that one thing) and because we could all use some inspiration and also because CAN WE JUST LIGHTEN […]

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Oct 26

2017

Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion

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Nobody wants to “be difficult.” Those words have stigma tattooed right across their rear. Just hearing them makes you think of that psycho in line at the grocery store, berating the cashier for not accepting her expired coupon. (She’s also wearing Uggs, for the record, and DEFINITELY has a soggy cigarette hanging out of her […]

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Jun 15

2017

Having FUN Doesn’t Make You an Unprofessional Schmuck

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Fun is underrated. We spend so much of our lives trying to get taken seriously, that fun becomes something we think of as shameful, dirty; something to be minimized in a professional setting. Giggles are juvenile; jokes are adolescent; anything more than a poker face threatens your status as “a respectable professional.” But that’s only […]

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2016

When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen…It Shows

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  Let me tell you what: American women may have Victoria’s Secret, but Italian women have another secret altogether. You know it by the way she holds her head a little higher than yours, eyes on fire, gliding down the god damn sidewalk as if her and Mother Nature were tag teaming. It is not just […]

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Jan 25

2018

Right Now, Someone Out There is Admiring You, Greatly.

Jan 25, 2018

They might not have said it. In fact, they probably kept it to themselves—“don’t want to seem like a creepy ass stalker.” But no matter who you are, you have changed things for someone. You have made them rethink their career. Rethink their stance. Rethink their makeup. (Because, hey, Urban Decay is a religion.) You […]

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Oct 8

2015

Look, We’ve All Got Our Faults. *Stomps Cigar*

Oct 8, 2015

Look, we’ve all got our faults. I, for one, have a wrinkly ass neck. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when it happened. But all the sudden there are lines as deep as the Panama Canal cutting across my trachea. Fortunately, all the resveratrol I’ve consumed over the years seems to have […]

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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