ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.

In: Finding Your Voice

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan.

Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sunroof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can't pay your $41 minimum payment because you've got negative $12 in your bank account, having borderline nervous breakdowns over what Equifax is going to have to say about all this, showering once every other day whenever someone is kind enough to let you use their water, subsisting on coffee and McDonald's Snack Wraps, and finally starting to grasp why the homeless have a reputation for being alcoholics.

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan, and you can't seem to reach the plug, so all you can do is duck and then curl up into the fetal position, and hope it doesn't hit you too hard.

Sometimes, the there's going to be a whole bunch of obstacles and challenges that feel almost as if there's an evil man with a curly mustache and maroon-colored, 1980's style gym shorts in the clouds whose sole job is to make your life hell and watch with delight as you struggle to manage while he slowly sips on a vat of Banker's Club brandy from a gaudy crystal glass.

Sometimes, it's going to seem that bad.

Sometimes, it's going to feel impossible.

Sometimes, you're going to be launched into a bout of despair.

Sometimes, NOTHING.  WILL.  SEEM.  FAIR.

Sometimes, everything will seem bleak.

Sometimes, everything will BE bleak.

And you'll be angry.

And it will break your heart.

And you'll start to question everything about yourself.

Your intelligence, your choices, your dreams, your LIFE.

You'll wonder:  Am I fooling myself?  Who am I to have such big aspirations?  Obviously I'm not good enough, or I wouldn't be living out of my car, eating McDonald's snack wraps and having delusional thoughts about men in maroon-colored gym shorts.

And–dammit!–you'll start to withdraw.  You'll start to step back from the war against mediocrity.  You'll feel intimidated, and then you'll feel petrified, and THEN you will let those feelings decide the outcome of your life.

DO NOT LET YOURSELF BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES.

Because sometimes, you've just got to pick yourself up off the bar floor with all your might, use all of your remaining energy to dust the empty peanut shells off your jacket, and GO AT IT AGAIN.

This is not a post about imagining the silver lining.

This is about taking the sharpest knife you can find, cutting through all of the bullshit, and yanking that lining out with your bare hands.

That's all that we can do.

So,

Be confident in your quest.

Be arrogant when it comes to your desires.

And be downright defiant when it comes to adversity.

There is no other way.

 

Jun 28

2010

Do You Have The Guts?

Jun 28, 2010

I can vividly recall the first time I wrote a resume. I typed away on our clunky, jumbo HP desktop, silently muttering words that shouldn’t appear in any resume each time autoformat would sneakily attempt to take over my painstakingly-created bulleted list of achievements. To this day, autoformat and I remain sworn enemies–and with reason, […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Dec 28

2012

Forget Your Manners.

Dec 28, 2012

It’s polite to: …fulfill your obligations. …answer them back right away. …nod in agreement. …go with the flow. …do as you’re asked. …drink because they are. …take their call. …give your undivided attention. …fill the silence. …and always be there when they need you. Then again, no one’s ever done anything remarkable by always being […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 12

2017

A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)

Aug 12, 2017

In the year 2010, friends would call and say: “So, how’s your blooooooooggggggg?” The tone was obvious: How’s your cute little imaginary friend that you think is going to save you from the real world that the rest of us have to suffer through? The year 2011, I made $103,000 with that blog—a far cry […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jan 14

2016

Sometimes in Business, You Need to Do YOU.

Jan 14, 2016

The dead horse of the decade is the target customer. You’re asked to create personas. Put yourself in their shoes bras. Get inside their head. Imagine what’s keeping them up at 3 o’clock in the morning. (For the record, it’s that their ass is getting fat and they totally forgot to make cookies for their […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Dec 31

2010

Resolutions Are For Chumps. I Choose Revolution.

Dec 31, 2010

All the things you think you need this year, you don’t. You do not need more determination.  You do not need more discipline.  And you certainly do not need more diligence. Are you kidding me? You are a Westerner–you’ve got plenty of that.  Why else have you gotten up every single day and begrudgingly gone […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Feb 10

2016

Nice Brands Finish Last

Feb 10, 2016

[x_blockquote type=”center”]I take it as an insult when somebody calls me The N Word: Nice.[/x_blockquote] Out of 100,000 adjectives in the English language, if the best you can come up with is nice, then I’m doing something wrong. It’s like spending Thanksgiving Day ripping out gizzards and mashing actual potatoes, only to be told that […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 15

2014

How to Be the Most Confident Person At The Table

Aug 15, 2014

When somebody doesn’t buy from you, which are you thinking? “Man, I’m a loser”  or “Man, they’re a loser.”  Getting cocksure is the very first order of business. And if you don’t feel sure of yourself, you know what you need? Not more clients. You need to sit your ass down, read 100 books, grovel for the […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 26

2017

Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion

Oct 26, 2017

Nobody wants to “be difficult.” Those words have stigma tattooed right across their rear. Just hearing them makes you think of that psycho in line at the grocery store, berating the cashier for not accepting her expired coupon. (She’s also wearing Uggs, for the record, and DEFINITELY has a soggy cigarette hanging out of her […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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