Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.
September 30, 2010
Sometimes, the shit hits the fan.
Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sunroof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can't pay your $41 minimum payment because you've got negative $12 in your bank account, having borderline nervous breakdowns over what Equifax is going to have to say about all this, showering once every other day whenever someone is kind enough to let you use their water, subsisting on coffee and McDonald's Snack Wraps, and finally starting to grasp why the homeless have a reputation for being alcoholics.
Sometimes, the shit hits the fan, and you can't seem to reach the plug, so all you can do is duck and then curl up into the fetal position, and hope it doesn't hit you too hard.
Sometimes, the there's going to be a whole bunch of obstacles and challenges that feel almost as if there's an evil man with a curly mustache and maroon-colored, 1980's style gym shorts in the clouds whose sole job is to make your life hell and watch with delight as you struggle to manage while he slowly sips on a vat of Banker's Club brandy from a gaudy crystal glass.
Sometimes, it's going to seem that bad.
Sometimes, it's going to feel impossible.
Sometimes, you're going to be launched into a bout of despair.
Sometimes, NOTHING. WILL. SEEM. FAIR.
Sometimes, everything will seem bleak.
Sometimes, everything will BE bleak.
And you'll be angry.
And it will break your heart.
And you'll start to question everything about yourself.
Your intelligence, your choices, your dreams, your LIFE.
You'll wonder: Am I fooling myself? Who am I to have such big aspirations? Obviously I'm not good enough, or I wouldn't be living out of my car, eating McDonald's snack wraps and having delusional thoughts about men in maroon-colored gym shorts.
And–dammit!–you'll start to withdraw. You'll start to step back from the war against mediocrity. You'll feel intimidated, and then you'll feel petrified, and THEN you will let those feelings decide the outcome of your life.
DO NOT LET YOURSELF BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES.
Because sometimes, you've just got to pick yourself up off the bar floor with all your might, use all of your remaining energy to dust the empty peanut shells off your jacket, and GO AT IT AGAIN.–
This is not a post about imagining the silver lining.
This is about taking the sharpest knife you can find, cutting through all of the bullshit, and yanking that lining out with your bare hands.
That's all that we can do.
Be confident in your quest.
Be arrogant when it comes to your desires.
And be downright defiant when it comes to adversity.
There is no other way.