The Blog

Aug 31

2017

The Three-Deadline Rule for Requesting Client Feedback

Aug 31, 2017

I’ve worked with a loooootttttttttt of kick ass writing clients over the years, and you know what’s always the hardest part? Never the writing. Always the logistics. If you do any kind of creative work, at some point you will need to request client feedback before you can move onto the next stage. Maybe you […]

In: Client Nightmares

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Aug 8

2017

My Two-Word Trick for Getting Over the Hump When You Have ZERO Motivation to Work On That Awful Client Project and You Sorta Kinda Hate Life and Humans In General and SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEE

Aug 8, 2017

When you’re having trouble finding the motivation, reframe it. Back in the day when I was young and silly and wasn’t selective about the types of clients I was writing for (AND WE ALL KNOW HOW FAR THAT RABBIT HOLE GOES), I’d often find myself doing work I didn’t particularly want to be doing. Can […]

In: Client Nightmares

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Jul 12

2017

The Other 50%: What Your Clients Really Want

Jul 12, 2017

She looked at me with worried eyes. “Do you really think my business is going to be great?” she asked, clenching her hands together. That’s when I knew what she needed. Not more advice. Not more brand strategy. Not more discussion on what she’s selling, and how she should position it. “J,” I said, turning […]

In: Client Nightmares

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May 23

2017

You Don’t Have to Be an Asshole to Be an Authority

May 23, 2017

There’s a conflict between authority and earnestness. You want to be viewed as an expert…but you also want to be down-to-earth. You want people to respect you…but you also want to be relatable. You want to command high fees…but you also want to be accessible. Most people flip flop back and forth between these two […]

In: Client Nightmares

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May 5

2015

Ass-Scratching Business Conundrum: Is It Worth It to Go Out of Your Way…Or Not?

May 5, 2015

You know what’s really messed up? Internet connections. Here we are building these creepy little awesome robots that get injected INSIDE YOUR BODY to cure cancer….making camouflage suits inspired by the octopus that automatically read their environment and adapt to mimic their surroundings, and coming out with wireless electricity, for the love of Edison…but you […]

In: Client Nightmares

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Dec 3

2014

How to Say No To Your Clients Without Being a Bitch

Dec 3, 2014

I want to talk about managing clients today, because everybody seems to have a love/hate relationship with theirs, and my theory is that the hate part comes from one of two sources: Tightwads. (Don’t work with them.) Not knowing how to tell them to BACK OFF, HOMIE. Begin a slow clap if you’ve experienced this popular scenario: Client pays […]

In: Client Nightmares

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[{"code":"Omg
[{"code":"Omg
yes
yes
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
you SO already know the answer "
you SO already know the answer "
"label":"Fortune #2"
"label":"Fortune #2"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you have to ask
{"code":"If you have to ask
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
"label":"Fortune #3"
"label":"Fortune #3"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
"label":"Fortune #5"
"label":"Fortune #5"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
"label":"Fortune #7"
"label":"Fortune #7"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Go
{"code":"Go
go
go
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"UM
{"code":"UM
YES. thank you
YES. thank you
next"
next"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you don't quit
{"code":"If you don't quit
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"win":true}]
"win":true}]