So the other day I almost got a boob job. Except by “boob job,” what I really mean to say is BREAST REDUCTION. You know how some people spontaneously splurge at, like, Target? It was sort of like that, except I had already been doing tons of research on the website Real Self, and had […]
It’s the moment you’ve been dreading. You’re there, on the phone. It’s almost time to wrap up. There’s THE awkward silence. You know you’re suppose to try and sell them some kind of 3-month package—or some other salesy bullshit—but how do you transition the godforsaken conversation?! This is so not natural for you. The whole […]
THANK VODKA this isn’t going to happen a lot (because I know you, and I know you’re excellent at what you do) but every once in a while you’ll start a project with a client who is literally from Mars, or you’ll get that scammer asshat who buys your digital product and then requests a […]
So based on yesterday’s blog post, where I’m all like, HEY EMAILS ARE CONTRACTS, HOLY SHIT, you’re probably wondering if you need to bother with a formal contract at all. In fact, you’re probably thrilled at the idea of not having to bother with that formal legalese, because: You don’t want your clients to think […]
I’ve worked with a loooootttttttttt of kick ass writing clients over the years, and you know what’s always the hardest part? Never the writing. Always the logistics. If you do any kind of creative work, at some point you will need to request client feedback before you can move onto the next stage. Maybe you […]
If you’re a freelancer, there are two different power dynamics: Hire me! Please hire me! I’m shitting my pants, over here, because I’m depending on you entirely and I’ll do anything it takes, even work for peanuts, because I need you to take mercyyyyy onnnnn meeeeee. Listen to me. I’m great at what I do, […]
When I worked in magazine advertising sales, every year we were sent a copy of the new rate cards from corporate. And every year, we account executives would then proceed to send an email to our clients that would say: “Hey, Janey-babe! Here’s the new 2018 rate card for your records.” It wasn’t personal. Nor […]
Do the work the hard way first. Do it the long way, the tedious way, the time-consuming way. Do it until your brain aches and your fingers bleed. Do it until you are sure that you have never done better work before in your life. Now, hand it to the client. The work should never, […]
There’s a line in the show Suits when Harvey Specter says: “I AM the best. And I didn’t get that way by letting other people call the shots.” By “other people,” he’s referring to his clients, of course, all of whom have paid him very good money to do what he does best—and yet still attempt […]
“That woman I’m always talking about on the Internet—she’s coming to England!” This was (ever so flatteringly) what Client #5, the last client we have the privilege of working with here in London, told us she said to her father as she raced down the stairs in a small town in the north, the moment […]
Look for “Yo, It’s Ash”—because what else would my email say? Also, check those darn spam + promotions folders; those fools are HUNGRY. See you in our new private clubhouse, AKA your inbox!
