The Way You Make a Million Dollars is by Earning One Dollar, A Million Times

IN: Money Talk, Success, Writing

When I first started writing my business memoir, there was one thing I was terrible at: SCENE. Not because I didn’t understand the importance, but because it was holy fucking hard to remember what actually happened the eve of, say, April 17th, 1992, while so-and-so played a harmonica and Lucy Loo showed the boys her undies. WERE WE ALL WEARING BLUE? DID THE AIR SMELL OF DAISIES? HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO REMEMBER THIS AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE

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More Work Doesn’t Mean More Money. It Means More Work.

IN: Productivity, Success

I like gel eggs. (WHO’S WITH ME ON THIS?) But I can never get the gel eggs just right, because they always turn out too dry, or undercoed. It’s hard to get that perfect precision. Then I bought a new pan. Made the gel eggs on the first try. The tools you use are as important as the work you put into it. Better outcome. Less cursing. That’s one reason why I’m switching these daily es to a new provider

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The Top 10 Commandments of Becoming Unf*ckwithable

IN: Business 101, Life, Success

Thou shall not wait for an imaginary endorsement from The Committee of True and Actual Greatness to affirm that you’re good enough to put your work out there. The traditional meritocracy meant that you could work your way up the ladder—but you’d have to wait for some creep to give you permission to climb each rung. From promotions at work, to having your art featured, to getting your own magazine column, to speaking on the topic of Teletubbies (or, hey,

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Self-Promotion Doesn’t Have to Turn You Into a Self-Absorbed A-Hole

IN: Confidence, Selling, Success

It’s a funny thing, promoting yourself. I’m fairly certain most people would rather have a perfectly minty molar ripped violently from their mouth, using a rusty tool from the 1950’s, performed by a man named Jacque, than they would ever want to dare “sound like they are bragging.” Self-promotion is hard because nobody wants to be seen as self-absorbed—but there’s a difference, and it’s critical to your career. Why? Making your achievements known is the only way that other people

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Let’s Get One Thing Straight: There’s Only One Way to Stand Out from the Sea of Sameness, and It’s Free

IN: Branding, Marketing, Success

Everyone wants to stand out from the sea of sameness—a phrase I coined years ago, right here on this blog, when the Internet first started teetering toward “me, too!” syndrome. Ask most people how to stand out, and depending on their industry, they’ll tell you something different: Get a website! Learn how to write copy! Write an eBo! Get publicity! But those things, in and of themselves, do not help you stand out from the sea of sameness. They

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Creativity Doesn’t Need an Ulterior Motive

IN: Creating, Creativity, Finding Your Voice, Success

The other day someone to note of my new daily blog post. “You’re launching something big,” they said. “No,” I replied. “I’m just a writer.” We’ve gotten so used to there always being an ulterior motive, that we’re suspicious when there isn’t one. Do the thing you’re called to do, especially when you have no motive.

Make Something That Matters

IN: Creating, Marketing, Success

Things aren’t always what they seem. An e list full of 100,000 people is meaningless if only 100 of those people open the es. Similarly, an e list of 100 people, with 100 of those people opening them, does mean something. Who is successful? And who is doing something that actually matters?

Freedom From the Overwhelm: It’s a Thing, and It’s Possible. I Shit You Not.

IN: Business 101, Productivity, Success

The other day my project manager and I were talking about a project I really wanted to work on. Doing so, however, would require me to show up every single week at the same time. “Are you sure you want to commit to that?” she said, hesitantly. “Think freedom.” I didn’t even have to consider my response. “Giving myself a schedule is the only way I am free,” I said. “It means that the rest of my time is really

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There’s a Modern Trick to Getting What You Want, These Days. Shhhh. Come Closer, I’ll Tell You What It Is.

IN: Creating, Life, Success, Writing

What if I told you I was giving you your very own daily column, where you could write about anything you wanted? What if I told you I was giving you your own TV show, where you’d be the star? What if I told you I was putting you on the radio, where you could talk about the things that mattered to you every week? And what if I told you that we were going to do fancy photo shoots,

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Own Your Edge

IN: Branding, Creating, Success

Checking into a hotel can be a nightmare. Long s. Tourists in hiking shoes. That bald guy pounding a beer. (At least, this was the scholarly scene I witnessed yesterday.) (Just kidding, I rooted him on.)But hotels are reticent to replace humans with technology, because they fear they’ll be sacrificing “the personal touch.” Do you know how many times I arrive to a hotel and wish I could just swipe my passport at a kiosk, like I do at the airport,

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Answering The Scary, Hairy, Xanax-Provoking Question: What the **** Should I Do With My Life?

IN: Creating, Lady Balls, Life, Success

  Mediocre questions for figuring out what you should do with your life: What type of industry should I go into? Which career path should I pursue? What kind of job should I get? What kind of business should I start? What services should I offer? How should I price this? What do I write? How do I do it? HOW CAN I BECOME A RICH, SKINNY BITCH WHO LOOKS FLAWLESS ON INSTAGRAM AND EATS CHILDREN FOR BREAKFAST? A better one:  What

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Growth Requires Muscle Tears

IN: Confidence, Creating, Life, Success

Yesterday I talked about change—and it’s no coincidence. I’m making some big changes myself, given that a lot of things are coming to an end, right now. Because iteration is what we’re all doing, every single day, even if it blows by us going 100mph down the freeway. (In a red Ferrari, sming a cigar, with a license plate that reads: TOOFAST4U.) We iterate as we breathe; we iterate every time we exercise; we iterate every time we learn something

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Change Is Fucking Messy (Thank God)

IN: Hard Stuff, Lady Balls, Life, Success

Change is fucking messy. You’re effectively molding yourself, and re-molding yourself, the way a sculptor would a piece of clay. And yet, nobody says to the sculptor: Shame on you, butter fingers, for not having it perfect the first spin. Rather, there’s an expectation of process. Of trial, of error, of slow transformation; of forming, fashioning, shaping and smoothing. Nevertheless, we—masochistically enough—don’t allow ourselves the same courtesy. We expect flawless perfection, right out of the box. We beat ourselves up

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How Do You Survive? How Do You Make It Through the Shitstorm—With Grace?

IN: Hard Stuff, Lady Balls, Success

  You forgive yourself, over and over and over again. You build little glass cases around your emotions, one by one. You don’t always like feeling sectioned off—but you forgive yourself for that, too. You are fragile now. You learn how to be fragile. Fragile means you need to play by different rules, for a while. “No” becomes your religion. Solitude becomes your faith. Your entire life pulls backward, like a tightened bow and arrow, going backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards,

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There’s No Such Thing as The Committee of True & Actual Greatness™

IN: Confidence, Lady Balls, Life, Success

  You know what’s the absolute worst? Waiting in at the doctor’s office. There’s a lot of anxiety around that, am I right? Nobody likes waiting at the doctor’s office because we all secretly think that the doctor’s just sitting behind a closed door somewhere, doing wheelies in an office chair, watching the minutes churn past with glee as they browse the latest in cutting edge gardening techniques while the rest of us waste away huddled together in

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Having Trouble Committing Yourself to That Project You Really, Really Wanna Do, But Can’t Seem to Get Started?

IN: Creating, Hard Stuff, Productivity, Success

I’ve been writing a bo for nearly two years now, which sounds absolutely homicidal when I say it out loud. I mean, let’s be honest: most of my romantic relationships haven’t even lasted that long. (OKAY FINE, UNTIL NOW, BECAUSE THE LOS AND I ARE ON, LIKE, YEAR #BAZILLION.) I’ve learned a lot about commitment, these last two years, which means I’ve also learned a lot about myself. (For example, apparently I know jack shit about hyphens. Who knew?) But

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Success Isn’t More Deserved When It’s Hard . . . BRAH

IN: Hard Stuff, Life, Success

Can we talk about the fact that today is February 2nd? How is it February the 2nd already? Am I eighty hundred years old yet? Because time seems not to be going my way. (Though a friend did recently compliment me on my skin, however that was only because she didn’t see my neck. Is this the decade in which we slowly descend upon a dysfunctional, passive-aggressive relationship with turtlenecks?) Speaking of time, you ever notice that when you’re away

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Most of the People I Grew Up With Voted for Trump—AND I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO REACT [A Story Through the Eyes of a “Scrappy Kid From Scranton”]

IN: Success

  For many people the election was a shock—but for me, it was a betrayal. There were things I thought I knew. I thought I knew, for example, that the smartest kid in my high school class—the one with the lightning fast wit and the ability to crush a calculus equation, who even held the title of “boyfriend” our junior year—would surely be voting the way I was. He was not. I thought I knew, for example, that the respectable,

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When the Internet Becomes a Raging Psycho Serial Killer—And Everybody’s All, “Whatever, LOL.”

IN: Success

  Oh 2017. It’s an odd-numbered year, which always makes me feel uneasy about things. I mean, what good could come of a year that ends in the number seventeen? The last time seventeen and I met, I was sneaking out of my bedroom at one o’clock in the morning, discovering that beer came in forty-ounce bottles (GENIUS), and playing rap music on volume ten—while (get this) ***still being able to multitask.*** Ah, the luxury of youth. These days, anyone even so

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Lack of Sleep Turning You Into a Pissed Off 2-Year Old? I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.

IN: Creating, Hard Stuff, Lady Balls, Productivity, Success

  Get a load of this insider information: Did you know your brain actually needs SLEEP? I’m pretty sure that none of us are ACTUALLY SLEEPING, and you know who I blame this entirely on? Wine. Holy mother of dragons, discovery of the decade: If I have wine at night, I will not be able to sleep. And by “not be able to sleep,” what I mean to say is that I’ll be laying there in bed like a pissed

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Personal Sovereignty + Giving Yourself Options + Who Needs a Vodka?

IN: Business 101, Creating, Hard Stuff, Success

So that happened this week. There’s a lot that could be said, and a lot I’ll refrain from saying, but I did want to send a courtesy note to say, first of all, that my new on business mentorship program is still moving forward—and starts tomorrow—and second, that holy moly, it’s about so much than your career. You know, I’d never thought too much about on business as something that could save the world—at least, not in much

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Unf*ckwithable BOSS | Online Business Development Program

IN: Business 101, Confidence, Creating, Marketing, Money Talk, Selling, Success, Video

*enthusiastic drum roll por favor*  Just kidding. I’d actually like an electronic harp, please. (Obviously superior.) Ladies, gents, and pandas, it is my pleasure to announce that the all-new Unf*ckwithable Boss On Business Development Program is now officially open. If you ever wished that you and I could put our heads together over a bottle of wine, and work together for a series of weeks ing in hard and creating—or overhauling—your on business from start to finish, A-Z, this is for you. As

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UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS: Red Hot, Brand New, Business Development & Refinery Program. Now Open for Enrollment!

IN: Branding, Business 101, Clients, Communication, Confidence, Creating, Hard Stuff, Life, Marketing, Money Talk, Productivity, Selling, Success, Writing

Hang onto your pumpkin loafs! (By which I mean, eat all the pumpkin loaf and then get yo’ glasses on, because there’s big news in the house today.) My brand-new business mentorship program has just rolled up in a Cadillac and is currently swigging vodka before making its debut onto the red carpet. It’s called UNF*CKWITHABLE BOSS, and it’s here to change the face of modern work forever. Unconventional name? Check. Unconventional purpose? Double check. If you’ve been thinking about striking

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Self-Hatred, Low Self-Esteem & Firing Those Lying Pricks From Your Payroll

IN: Communication, Confidence, Hard Stuff, Success

  Alright, real talk: It’s 4:27am and there should be laws against writing at these hours. Is this what drunk driving feels like? Because I’m pretty sure my eyes are doing cartwheels and my brain is like, “What the ****?” and all the while my stomach is all, LISTEN LADY IF WE’RE DOING THIS I’M GONNA NEED SOME ASSISTANCE DOWN HERE. I mean, I normally wouldn’t mind dragging a bag of Doritos into bed with me at this hour (it’s

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