Biggggg Announcements! Four of Them! (Featuring the Word, “JizzlePants,” In Case You Weren’t Already Tempted)

First of all, holy shit, it’s Friday, and holy shit, I have at least four exciting things to tell you about, because YOU ARE MY CREW. (Swear to vodka, I haven’t even had a chance to tell some of my dearest friends about the apartment I bought last week, or the book manuscript being done. Does this make me a weird internet cat lady who only shares secrets with her online friends before her actual ones?! Is this what ten years on the Internet does to a person? What is the meaning of this? I digress.) (Except, wait, I don’t digress. To the person who replied, “Unsubscribe me bitch,” to my happy announcement, I’m pretty sure you have just inspired an all-new saved reply featuring the one and only Rickey Thompson. <—You will not be sad you watched that.)


  1. Anywayyyyyy! Look, ma, I have the greatest news! TODAY I AM FEATURED IN THE SKIMM!

    I almost dumped my creamer all over my pants—which is not a euphemism, but rather an unfortunate side-effect of reading while pouring coffee. ISN’T THAT FUN? (The announcement, not the creamy pants.) Click that link and then, if you aren’t subscribed, click “check out the latest newsletter,” then go all the way to the bottom. See if you can spot me. I feel like Where’s Waldo!

  2. Secondly, and of equally awesome importance:

    Today at 1pm EST I’m going live on Instagram with my girl Andrea Isabelle Lucas, badass rags-to-riches entrepreneur and author of, “Own It All,” her new book which is out today, bishes! If you’ve been through The Hard, or you’re going through The Hard now, this is one title you won’t want to miss. Today on Instagram Live (@TMFproject), I’m going to grill ‘er all about one of my favorite unconventional pieces of advice she gives in the book, as well as how she dealt with the mean girl on the playground, imposter syndrome, and what it means to “own it all,” when you’re starting with nothing. A major theme in my own book is this idea that women must be brave enough to cause problems, and Andrea Isabelle Lucas is an excellent example of someone who has done just that—and come out on the other side shining like a motherfucking star. Catch us today at 1pm EST, where I’ll surely be wearing my favorite black lipstick.

  3. Speaking of chit chats, my podcast interview with the fabulous Alex Beadon just went live on her site!

    I loved talking to Alex. We had a killer conversation on the topic of finding your voice and not being afraid to use it—which is central to my work as a whole. (Just wait until you find out the big surprise I have for this year.) We also talked about why advice like, “be the miracle” is bullshit, and what you do when you need “break glass in case of emergency” kind of counsel—including what the one thing I did to turn an ugly, rock-bottom situation into the best thing that ever happened to me. (Really helpful to hear if you’re seriously doubting your abilities right now, sis.)

  4. And finally. Because we are on a ROLL today when it comes to podcasts and broadcasting:

    You absolutely must subscribe to my actual in-real-life friend’s brilliant podcast, Matthew Kimberley's How to Get a Grip, who’s going around the Internet and asking human beings: what’s the one thing that keeps you sane? For context, you should know that I just submitted a review this morning, and this is literally what it said:

This Podcast Makes Me Wet

What? I had to say it. It's no secret that Matthew Kimberley is the absolute king of elegant, smart, witty conversation. He's known in modern sales circles as THE go-to sales trainer and money whisperer—why? Because he's incredible at his craft, and that craft involves having a sharp mind, being a keen conversationalist, and making people *want* to talk to you. I'll tell you a little secret: while the people he's interviewing here are great (especially Laura Belgray, who I love), the real reason I'm listening is to learn from Matthew Kimberley. Every word he utters is an opportunity to be better.

Who knows if they’ll approve it, but hey, I’d read that review if I saw that headline.

Okay! I’ll shut up now! Let you get on with your Friday, which I kinda hope includes hot dogs and cotton candy. Is it just me, or is a spring mood in the air? Like, could you see yourself on the Jersey shore this weekend, strolling down the boardwalk or what? Maybe I’m just excited for my new Philly digs, which will include plenty of Jersey shore time, but not the whole gym-tan-laundry kind of Jersey shore. That’s gross. I prefer to be as pasty as possible, and we all know I don’t wash my clothes. This may or may not be the reason why my girlfriends nicknamed me “Jizzlepants” in my early twenties. I swear it was cheese sauce! Or maybe it was creamer. Andddddd we come full circle. I've also just realized that I'm going to start getting emails with that scholarly salutation as well. LIVIN’ THE LIFE, YOU GUYS. LIVIN’ THE LIFE.

XOXO see you at 1pm EST on Instagram, fool!




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