ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

If I had a foghorn, do you know what I'd shout?

(Besides how I'll never understand why so many people think that God is actually a compelling justification for their particular policy preferences. /rant)

What I'd really shout—what I truly believe our people desperately need to hear—is this and this alone:

The well-being of our world urgently depends on our ability to respect the time we've been given on it.

Time is only on your side until you betray her, when you no longer acknowledge the beauty of the gift she has given you, but cast it aside in favor of greed, excess & misplaced lust.

She is the equivalent of a gracefully aged, profoundly wise Turkish woman, wrapped in the richest of royal purple cloaks adorned with the most regal of ruby earrings that dangle delicately, but with intention, from her earlobes. Her piercing green eyes sparkle with determination; a reflection of her fearless, yet stubborn character.

Time is kind when you honor her.

But she will turn on you at a moment's notice.

The minute you turn your back on her.

It is then that she will become fickle.

She will become indifferent.

And unapologetic.

And her revenge will be to speed up your time on earth, so fast that your curse will be to wake up one day, and suddenly realize that your life has passed you by without so much as your participation.

And she will laugh.

Because with her, she doesn't give second chances.

She will not give the gift again.

So I say to you—I caution you—to cherish her & her generosity. Appreciate her & her offering to you.

And do not let her gift go unnoticed.

Far too often, we willingly surrender our time—our most precious of resources—without so much as a second thought, be it in the name of more money or out of some false notion of obligation.  We take its seeming endless nature for granted, assuming there'll always be time for us later.

The problem is that there is no such thing as later—”later” is an imaginary concept that's really nothing more than an optimistic hope, at best.

Now, on the other hand, is very real.

You can be certain of that.

So drop whatever you're doing—whatever nagging thing that's on your to-do list that seems important—and do something that actually is important.

That something is you.

The well-being of the world is depending on it.

Jun 9

2017

The World Isn’t Your Mommy

Jun 9, 2017

You know what’s crazy? There’s not actually a team of people assigned to your life, sitting around monitoring your blood work, and your bank accounts, and the health of your relationships, jotting down notes, circling areas of concern. There’s no supervisor. No one checking your progress. No one setting quarterly reviews. As a result, we […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Nov 6

2011

It’s Okay If You Suck At This. Otherwise Called, “Permission to Suck.” Otherwise Called, “Longest Blog Post Title Ever Because Obnoxiously Long Blog Post Titles Are Funny.”

Nov 6, 2011

It’s okay if…you’re drowning in self-doubt. It’s okay if…you don’t know where to start. It’s okay if…you started, but want to stop. It’s okay if…you sometimes mix up your priorities. It’s okay if…you didn’t say the right thing. It’s okay if…you really fucked up the first time around. It’s okay if…you fucked up the second time […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 4

2010

You Don’t Need a Job – You Need Guts

Nov 4, 2010

Truth: Most people will walk this earth for decades, feeling guilty for not pursuing the great adventures inside of them, but will never do anything about it. Truth: Most people are overwhelmed by fear, and will make some of the worst choices of their lives because of it. Truth: Most people will put their head […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Feb 7

2013

Paper In Your Coffee

Feb 7, 2013

There are some people who don’t get the whole concept of an assembly line. You know who I’m talking about – those hanyacks at the Starbucks who come up beside you at the milk station, their panties in a bunch, tapping their foot, doing the hokey pokey at 8 o’clock in the morning because they […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Apr 25

2010

White Men Can’t Jump, But They’ve Got Other Tricks Up Their Sleeves: The (Unearned) Privilege of Being White

Apr 25, 2010

Here’s a little something to ponder: Band Aids. What comes to mind? Perhaps a small, rectangular piece of flexible plastic with adhesive that sticks to your skin and pulls at your little hairs when you finally tear it off, bringing back unpleasant memories of your last Brazilian wax. No? I should leave the Brazilian wax […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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