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The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing

In: Life,

If I had a foghorn, do you know what I'd shout?

(Besides how I'll never understand why so many people think that God is actually a compelling justification for their particular policy preferences. /rant)

What I'd really shout—what I truly believe our people desperately need to hear—is this and this alone:

The well-being of our world urgently depends on our ability to respect the time we've been given on it.

Time is only on your side until you betray her, when you no longer acknowledge the beauty of the gift she has given you, but cast it aside in favor of greed, excess & misplaced lust.

She is the equivalent of a gracefully aged, profoundly wise Turkish woman, wrapped in the richest of royal purple cloaks adorned with the most regal of ruby earrings that dangle delicately, but with intention, from her earlobes. Her piercing green eyes sparkle with determination; a reflection of her fearless, yet stubborn character.

Time is kind when you honor her.

But she will turn on you at a moment's notice.

The minute you turn your back on her.

It is then that she will become fickle.

She will become indifferent.

And unapologetic.

And her revenge will be to speed up your time on earth, so fast that your curse will be to wake up one day, and suddenly realize that your life has passed you by without so much as your participation.

And she will laugh.

Because with her, she doesn't give second chances.

She will not give the gift again.

So I say to you—I caution you—to cherish her & her generosity. Appreciate her & her offering to you.

And do not let her gift go unnoticed.

Far too often, we willingly surrender our time—our most precious of resources—without so much as a second thought, be it in the name of more money or out of some false notion of obligation.  We take its seeming endless nature for granted, assuming there'll always be time for us later.

The problem is that there is no such thing as later—”later” is an imaginary concept that's really nothing more than an optimistic hope, at best.

Now, on the other hand, is very real.

You can be certain of that.

So drop whatever you're doing—whatever nagging thing that's on your to-do list that seems important—and do something that actually is important.

That something is you.

The well-being of the world is depending on it.

Enter your email address and I'll rummage around in my bag of tricks for JUST the thing.



If You Want Someone to Say Yes to You, and Love You, and Give You Their Money, and Be Happy as a God Damn Clam Dunked in Sriracha, There’s One Thing You May Be Overlooking That’s Mission-Critical, AMEN

Today’s the day my private retreat participants arrive here to the world’s most wonderful boutique hotel here in The Cotswolds (I’ll show you later, when I don’t run the risk of some random Freddie Krueger on the Internet showing up and ruining EVERYTHING AKA sawing our hands off in the middle of the night—“you’ll never […]

In: Branding, Creating, Finding Your Voice, Life, Success,


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23 thoughts on "The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing"

  1. Karen Ruby says:

    Hey Ash,

    One thing that I’ve learned as I get older is that time seems to speed up exponentially. When you are young and think that you have 60+ more years to live, it can seems like you have all the time in the world to fool around with. When you get older and realize how fickle time is (no one is guaranteed today, never mind tomorrow) then you can appreciate how previous your time, and what you spend your life energy on, becomes. Knowing what your priorities and values in life are is a major step in appreciating time.


  2. Scott says:

    Awesome! I’ve got to take my own advice and act, struggle more and take more risks!

  3. kindra says:

    OK, so I think this is a great article but a bit offensive. Let me just school you for one moment about the term African American when it comes to Blacks…and Charlize might just refer to herself as an African American, you never know. Nothing wrong with that. Second, not all Blacks refer to themselves as African Americans.
    Blacks have, oh I don’t know, a history of having negative names assigned to them. I’m not going by the Jesse Jackson version when the term African American was coined, but I’m going on common sense. And when you happen to be called horrific names for about 400 years, you have a tendency to want to be addressed with some respect, and say that despite my history being stolen, I have roots and a respectable history.
    Please do not comment on an experience that you have no idea about.