ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

If I had a foghorn, do you know what I'd shout?

(Besides how I'll never understand why so many people think that God is actually a compelling justification for their particular policy preferences. /rant)

What I'd really shout—what I truly believe our people desperately need to hear—is this and this alone:

The well-being of our world urgently depends on our ability to respect the time we've been given on it.

Time is only on your side until you betray her, when you no longer acknowledge the beauty of the gift she has given you, but cast it aside in favor of greed, excess & misplaced lust.

She is the equivalent of a gracefully aged, profoundly wise Turkish woman, wrapped in the richest of royal purple cloaks adorned with the most regal of ruby earrings that dangle delicately, but with intention, from her earlobes. Her piercing green eyes sparkle with determination; a reflection of her fearless, yet stubborn character.

Time is kind when you honor her.

But she will turn on you at a moment's notice.

The minute you turn your back on her.

It is then that she will become fickle.

She will become indifferent.

And unapologetic.

And her revenge will be to speed up your time on earth, so fast that your curse will be to wake up one day, and suddenly realize that your life has passed you by without so much as your participation.

And she will laugh.

Because with her, she doesn't give second chances.

She will not give the gift again.

So I say to you—I caution you—to cherish her & her generosity. Appreciate her & her offering to you.

And do not let her gift go unnoticed.

Far too often, we willingly surrender our time—our most precious of resources—without so much as a second thought, be it in the name of more money or out of some false notion of obligation.  We take its seeming endless nature for granted, assuming there'll always be time for us later.

The problem is that there is no such thing as later—”later” is an imaginary concept that's really nothing more than an optimistic hope, at best.

Now, on the other hand, is very real.

You can be certain of that.

So drop whatever you're doing—whatever nagging thing that's on your to-do list that seems important—and do something that actually is important.

That something is you.

The well-being of the world is depending on it.

Mar 25

2012

Why Moderation is for Losers.

Growing up, my dad’s favorite line used to be, “Everything in moderation.” What a riot. One would assume that, after having those particular words-o-wisdom jack-hammered into my brain at least once per week, that I would have turned out, well, moderate. I’d think moderately, I’d travel moderately, I’d love moderately, and I’d live moderately. And […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 29

2012

On My Red Hot, Sinfully Sexy Affair.

  I’m currently gnawing on a big, squishy, ripe red tomato. Right now. As I type this. I’m forking salty chunks into my mouth as I hope (but not pray–I’m pretty bad at that) that tomato seed juice doesn’t dribble all over my keyboard. Before my current lusty, red hot tomato affair, I was getting […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Jun 22

2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Jun 23

2010

Why Rule Breakers Run the World

I’ll admit it–I’m a tad embarrassed. I can’t decide if I’m embarrassed in light of the nonchalant display of nudity that is currently lounging alongside of me–quite proudly, and with reason, if I do say so myself–on this clothing optional beach, or if I’m embarrassed for another reason–perhaps at my own relative prudishness, something that […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 4

2010

You Don’t Need a Job – You Need Guts

Truth: Most people will walk this earth for decades, feeling guilty for not pursuing the great adventures inside of them, but will never do anything about it. Truth: Most people are overwhelmed by fear, and will make some of the worst choices of their lives because of it. Truth: Most people will put their head […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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