Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.

You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face.

But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, after all.

And this girl is headed to The Bahamas tomorrow with global travel mistress Kyle Hepp. Not on vacation–both of us will be working–but still, it’s The Bahamas. And it’s hot in the Bahamas. (It better be hot.) And as every woman who’s ever worn a sundress in 90-degree humidity knows, WALKING IN A SUNDRESS IS A BAD IDEA.

Legs start rubbing together, and then…it’s…all…over.

Which, of course, brings us full circle to the Butt Paste. Last night, Kyle and I innocently entered a Walgreens in search of non-chafing cream, hoping to fool an entire island-full of men that, no, our legs do not actually rub together!

Unfortunately, however, they were fresh out. As to be expected–do you know how many rash-fearing women there are in Miami???

But that didn’t stop the pharmacist from enthusiastically encouraging us to visit the baby aisle, instead, because apparently, DIAPER RASH CREAM WORKS JUST AS WELL.

These are the secrets of the world that I’ve been waiting for.

And clearly, when one is in a position to select a product they’ve never had to purchase, packaging is everything.

(You knew there was a marketing lesson in here somewhere, right?)

The other diaper rash creams were so…baby-esque with their pinks and their blues and their sketches of giggling 3 month olds drooling all over their rattles. Butt Paste, on the other hand, IS CALLED BUTT PASTE, and comes in a lime green tube. I figured that when faced with a decision on whether you want everyone who snoops through your suitcase to think you’ve got a baby, or a bad case of hemorrhoids, it’s probably safer to go with the latter. After all, babies scare hot men off way faster than butts do.

I’ve talked about this in the past–not Butt Paste, shockingly, but how we, as humans, make buying decisions. And while this is an exaggerated example, the point remains: When making a purchasing decision, we will always pick the one that reaffirms our identity, and aligns most with our perception of ourselves.

That said, it should only follow that if you’re a seller?

You better be aligning every single move you make–from your packaging to your message to every last word you write–with the desired identities of your target audience.

Because when there’s a disconnect there…there’s going to be a disconnect in sales, too.

Because they’ll be going with your competitor.

…Even when your competitor is inferior.

And that’s why marketing is so damn important.

Don’t think of it as an icky chore; think of it as a matchmaking game–one where your sole job is to do whatever you can to attract your soul mates.

Apparently, the makers of Butt Paste totally saw me comin’.

P.S. Kyle says that even Britney Spears’ thighs in her Toxic days still rubbed together. I can’t tell if this makes me feel better or worse.

It's free. Unlike the wine you drank last night.

http://twitter.com/TravlJunkette Travel Junkette

Ha! Can totally relate to this, since I’m living in Nicaragua and chafing the days away. I’ve never heard of non-chafing cream, or butt paste! I always stick to baby powder and Gold Bond. I’m going to have to have a serious chat with my pharmacist.
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  I literally laughed out loud at this comment! No one ever told me about Gold Bond – is she a keeper?!
http://www.facebook.com/larissa.arnold777 Larissa Arnold

Sounds similar to the Aussie Butt Cream we have here. Except ours isn’t aimed at babies or in a tube… It’s in an awesome silver tub though!
And who doesn’t love to say ‘butt’??
http://www.jenvertanen.com/ Jen V. :: Biz Strategist

Butt Paste is the best! It’s all we used on our kids…well…butts. But (haha) I never thought of using it for ouchy inner-thigh chafing…brilliant! I can’t wait to hear how well it worked for you.

In terms of branding and marketing…..that’s exactly why I decided to go on someone’s long wait list and wait until this coming May to launch my site…I will settle for nothing less than a cohesive package that speaks to who I am and what I have to offer.

I’ve done it the other way and yeah…that didn’t feel so good nor was I very successful .
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  If you’re talking about web design? So, so worth it. I’m so glad you’re waiting. WORTH IT.
http://twitter.com/AndiPerullo Andi Perullo, L.Ac.

Even when I was 100 pounds my thighs still rubbed together!
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  I think I was 100 pounds in the 4th grade. I also think this is where the term “big boned” originated.
Brian W.

One tube of Butt Paste just wasn’t going to cut it?
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  They don’t sell Butt Paste in Costa Rica, Brian. And since I’m living there at the moment, three tubes it was!
http://twitter.com/AlyciaWicker Alycia Wicker

My first experience with learning about Butt Paste was when my sister and I were planning a trip to Disney World. Came across a website that had this as a tip which was mainly aimed at larger people and their chafing all over, not people with thighs rubbing. Then when we got to DW I did noticed a large segment of the attendees in fact were larger people but they were driving scooters and I don’t think chafing was their biggest problem as much as trying to wedge into the sample ride carts. /tangent.
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  *reminds self to lose 20 pounds AS SOON AS POSSIBLE*
http://www.clevergirlscollective.com/ kristy

As a marketing “lifer” and entrepreneur who happens to have young children, I can attest to two things:
1. I didn’t buy Butt Paste at first because I was afraid it was popular just because of the name; fun, but I’m more willing to try products because of “fun” names for myself than I am for babies. I’ll personally try anything. But I’m way risk-adverse when we’re talking about inflamed infant asses.

2. My friend TOTALLY bought Butt Paste for her infant because of its name (of course she did), then swore it was the best stuff ever, and then I went out and bought tons of it because she was right. It is the BEST. (And yes, I’ve used it for me, too, for the same non-existant thigh-rubbing situations.)

I’m not really sure what my point is. The name/branding actually scared me away from thinking the product was good at first. I don’t know. Maybe the lesson should just be “Buy Butt Paste because they’re obviously not f’ng around.”
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  BUY BUTT PASTE BECAUSE THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT FUCKING AROUND.” This made both myself and Kyle laugh out loud hysterically, as we sit in the Starbucks in our hotel here in the Bahamas, Butt Pasted up.
http://pjrvs.com/ Paul Jarvis

I tried to think of a mature comment… but I it’s called Butt Paste, so all I can do is giggle.
- http://www.livecollarfree.com/ James Schipper
  
  Yeah, I’ve got nothing for this one, either.
- http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ Ash Ambirge
  
  That’s really the only reason why we bought it, if I’m behind honest.

Blog

Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.

And clearly, when one is in a position to select a product they’ve never had to purchase, packaging is everything.

It's free. Unlike the wine you drank last night.

Categories

It's free. Unlike the wine you drank last night.

Blog

Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.

And clearly, when one is in a position to select a product they’ve never had to purchase, packaging is everything.

Subscribe

It's free. Unlike the wine you drank last night.

Categories

Subscribe

It's free. Unlike the wine you drank last night.