The Blog

Nov 20

2018

“Will You Get Off My NUTS?!” And Other Things People Are NOT Thinking About You When You Market to Them

Nov 20, 2018

Repeat after me: You are not a bother. You are not a bother. You are not a bother. You are not a bother. You are not a bother. YOU ARE NOT A BOTHER. You’re doing me a favor by being there. You’re doing all of us a favor by bringing your work into the world. […]

In: Online Marketing

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Nov 2

2018

On Branding Your Work With Balls (Featuring THE BEST QUESTION EVER)

Nov 2, 2018

What are you the poster child for? Now this is a great fucking question. I like it because it cuts straight to the meat—none of this “if you were a flying pony, what color would your saddle be?” nonsense. If you’re trying to brand yourself—or, hey, even figure out the theme of your work, your […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 19

2018

Make 50% of the Population Hate You

Oct 19, 2018

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, […]

In: Online Marketing

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Sep 10

2018

Know Who Your Haters Are

Sep 10, 2018

Tiffany’s doesn’t try to sell diamonds to a sixteen-year-old girl. Nor are they offended, nor worried, when teens aren’t flocking to their stores. Tiffany’s knows that sixteen-year-old girls most definitely aren’t their market. And I also imagine that, were a sixteen-year-old girl to proclaim that Tiffany’s sucks absolute DONKEY BALLS, they wouldn’t take it to […]

In: Online Marketing

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Apr 19

2018

“The O Method”: My Quick Trick for Standing Out From the Crowd With Your Work

Apr 19, 2018

So you know I’ve been high as a kite on books since THE BIG BOOK DEAL (which I have no shame in saying in big, obnoxious capital letters, not even a little bit) and I’ve already been having all sorts of crazy visions of book tours that, instead of taking me to all the big cities, takes me to […]

In: Online Marketing

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Feb 9

2018

The United States Lottery Makes $73.5 Billion a Year Thanks to This Little Understood Sales Trick. What Is It?

Feb 9, 2018

When the lottery wants to drum up business, they don’t raise the odds. They raise the jackpot.  Why? Because people don’t buy odds. They buy fantasies. They buy the ability to get drunk on a dream. Which, of course, goes back that old hat argument of emotion versus logic. Time and time again, this has proven […]

In: Online Marketing

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Nov 17

2017

Read This if You Need Eyeballs On Your Stuff But Have NO EFFING IDEA HOW TO GET ANYONE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU SO HELP YOU VODKA.

Nov 17, 2017

I just got done doing a live video sesh with my Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends, and one author got on and was telling us that she’d recently attended a comic convention where her ideal target market was hanging out, making it much easier for her to sell her books—as opposed to getting on the giant black hole […]

In: Online Marketing

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Nov 14

2017

THIS VIDEO, THOUGH. Talk About Making Me Hot, Hot, Hot With Desire. (Not That Kind.) (But Maybe?)

Nov 14, 2017

One of our subscribers created this video, recently, to promote her business—and HOLY FUCK. That is all I want to say, over and over and over again. Holy. Fuck. (Which is obviously the best testament there is.) If you’ve ever doubted the fact that emotion sells, I challenge you to think again. Because anyone can start […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 16

2017

She Wrote the Book On It

Oct 16, 2017

At my retreat in the Cotswolds, this past summer, I gave everyone salmon-colored Kate Spade notebooks that read on the cover: She wrote the book on it. It’s a theme I teach and live and breathe and bleed. Everyone’s always asking, “How do you market yourself? How do you get people to notice you?” (For […]

In: Online Marketing

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