ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

3 Million Dollar Biz Deals + Sex. Except There’s No Sex.

In: Marketing,

I have a very important piece of advice for you.

When in a foreign country lookin' all sorts of sexy at the mall (read: for once, there isn't a mix of sweat, dirt and men's cologne dripping down your neck) and the ATM eats your only debit card?

Don't storm out of the bank like a crazy person.

It's not very becoming.

Particularly when it's the one day you don't have on waterproof mascara. Because then you look like even more of a crazy person. A crazy, drugged out person. Look out, here comes the crazy, drugged out, enraged American girl! She might have a knife. Or a chainsaw. Yes, definitely a chainsaw, judging by the size of her purse.

No wonder why I haven't gotten any ass here.   *nods profoundly*

So that happened.

Furthermore, I should mention that Monday will be the day I will give up vodka forever. I spent last night hobnobbing with pineapple man and some other powerful dudes in town–while witnessing a 3 million dollar biz deal go down.

You see, me and pineapple man's thing together seems to be dirty martinis. He had never had one before he met me. (See what I do to people? I'm a corrupter of the highest degree. Here! Here's a vodka-soaked olive, and some more vodka on the side! Eat it! Drink it! Do it! What are you waiting for?! DO IT!)

Too many martinis later, I'm telling pineapple man (and pineapple man's adorable, giggling dad) how I plan to revive the entire town and its economy using the internet. I might have also swore up and down that my next book was going to be all about them–the secret (and not so secret) lives + business strategies of the most powerful men in Costa Rica.

Actually, both of those things sound like pretty good plans, so perhaps I won't give up vodka after all . (Did you actually believe me, anyway?)

The Middle Finger Project. Not Your Grandmother's Blog.

Enter your email address and I'll rummage around in my bag of tricks for JUST the thing.

💜

READS

I Want You. Now.

…yeah, you. Not so much in the, take-me-to-bed-tiger kind of way (that’s tomorrow. really. just wait.), but in a I-want-to-know-what-you-think kind of way. Not about the ozone. Or how much profanity I use. Or the fact that I apparently suck at responding to emails. (Shhhhhhhhh. I’m getting better!) I want to know what you think […]

In: Marketing,

READ MORE >>

💜

READS

Sexy Matters. Whether You Like It Or Not.

Sexy matters. We hate to think that’s true. We look at the girl strutting down the sidewalk, who’s obviously “trying too hard,” and we silently disapprove. But it’s not because she’s trying too hard. It’s because she makes us feel inferior.  To soothe our egos, we immediately start telling ourselves the story that we’re “better,” […]

In: Marketing,

READ MORE >>

become unf*ckwithable

What does it mean to be Unf*ckwithable? View the 10 commandments >>

 

THIS IS A PLACE WHERE YOU'LL ALWAYS BELONG.

Click here to tell me what *you* think + let your ideas be seen naked—and then sign your name on our wall of wonder.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 thoughts on "3 Million Dollar Biz Deals + Sex. Except There’s No Sex."

  1. Andi Perullo says:

    That’s such awesome news re: Kyle! Why oh why can’t the 3 of us live in the same city? We’d seriously take over the world together!!!

  2. Andi Perullo says:

    That’s such awesome news re: Kyle! Why oh why can’t the 3 of us live in the same city? We’d seriously take over the world together!!!

  3. The title… such a tease. And thank you for contributing your amazing voice to this deal.

  4. The title… such a tease. And thank you for contributing your amazing voice to this deal.