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Need a Quick Laugh? Here You Go. (Open Me, Jerk!)

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

Before I explain the origins of this remarkable photo, I'm pretty sure we should think up some awesome captions together.

I'll go first.

Anything but Donkey Kong!

Too many boobs!

Stop tickling me, Rudolph!

Father Time eats his first pot brownie.

Protesting razors since 1000 B.C.

Don't ask me why I have the need to torture us all with this kind of stuff. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the 5th grade, when Mr. Martin, the guidance counselor, used to show up in the classroom with a stuffed dolphin named Doo-so. That shit would scar anybody.

But seriously – what caption would YOU put? Leave it in the comments – this could be funny.

That said, you may or may not be wondering who that poor man in the photo is, and furthermore, why I've published such a random, unflattering collection of images of him.

If you've been following The Middle Finger Project for any length of time, you already know the answer to the latter: I published it for no other reason than it was funny as hell. As for the former, however, the man in that photo is Bruno, pronounced Bruuuuuuunoooooooo, and Bruno is from Italy.

Asti, Italy, to be specific, where they apparently make baller champagne.

And Bruuuunnnnooooooooo hangs out here in Costa Rica, day in and day out, sharing his stories of having spent a lifetime owning a small bookstore in his pueblo. We've talked much business–in broken Spanish, mind you.

He is leaving next week to go back to Italy.

I will miss him.

Which is precisely why I photo bombed him today without his consent–hence the arms flailing. I'd say you should have saw the look on his face when my Macbook fired off a bunch of snapshots of him when he just thought he was going to look at Google Earth, but you DID see the look on his face.

And that's basically the extent of that story – but how could I resist sharing that photo?


The Middle Finger Project. Not Your Grandmother's Blog.

May 3


Listen: Do What You Crave Without the Guilt. Travel to Italy. Enroll in That Workshop. Make Your Art Every Afternoon. And Hurl Yourself Into the Unknown—For This Is The Best ROI That Money Can Buy.

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My almost-mother-in-law gets really fucking nervous when I travel—especially when I bomb off to South America for a month by myself to drink ALL THE WINE and celebrate ALL THE BOOK DEALS. But she doesn’t get worried in the typical way a mother might; not the way my own mother would have been worried, which would […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life


Feb 7


Paper In Your Coffee

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There are some people who don’t get the whole concept of an assembly line. You know who I’m talking about – those hanyacks at the Starbucks who come up beside you at the milk station, their panties in a bunch, tapping their foot, doing the hokey pokey at 8 o’clock in the morning because they […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Apr 17


Change Is Fucking Messy (Thank God)

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Change is fucking messy. You’re effectively molding yourself, and re-molding yourself, the way a sculptor would a piece of clay. And yet, nobody says to the sculptor: Shame on you, butter fingers, for not having it perfect the first spin. Rather, there’s an expectation of process. Of trial, of error, of slow transformation; of forming, […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


May 31


“Ding, Ding, Ding! You Can Have Fun Now!”

May 31, 2016

I’m going to England tomorrow. By which I mean I’m stepping inside a long metal torpedo and sitting my fat ass down on some murky blue pleather for an exact distance of 5,429 miles across a cold, dreary ocean that always makes me wonder things I shouldn’t ever wonder. Like: Would I actually remain calm […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Jun 14


If You Ain’t Feelin’ Your Work Anymore: HONEY, BURN THAT ISH DOWN.

Jun 14, 2019

So, here’s an idea: making money is not courageous. Anybody can ring a bell for twenty years. “Look, ma—I’ve been standing over here ringing this bell for two entire decades—durh, durh, durh—and I finally got a sticker!” Making money is a relatively straightforward consequence of showing up to breathe in the right place. Cause and […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life, Hate Your Job?


May 4


Shattering the Current Model of Reality

May 4, 2010

Most of you reading this website are here because you want more. Tried and true may be comfortable, but boring.  The traditional life path may be safe, but uninspiring.  The status quo is average, but nothing extraordinary. You know there’s something missing, but you can’t pinpoint what, exactly, it is. We’ve essentially been told for […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Nov 5


Where’s Your God Damn Pineapple?

Nov 5, 2012

There’s always a reason why you shouldn’t. Shouldn’t spend the money. Shouldn’t be so frivolous. Shouldn’t miss work. Shouldn’t be irresponsible. Shouldn’t act so hastily. And a million other reasons why you shouldn’t do what you’ve been wanting to do. The real question, of course, isn’t whether you should or you shouldn’t. Because when it […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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