Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

The Secret to Getting More Clients + More Money (Without Reducing Your Rate)

In: Online Marketing

It's Sunday morning.

I'm sitting at my dining room table with coffee, staring out the front door of my new condo here in Costa Rica, looking at this:

That's right. Pineapple man hooked me up with one of the new condos they're selling. I spent a good portion of yesterday out there by the pool, barbecuing chicken with friends, having a few micheladas. (Michelada: Beer mixed with lemonade, served in a glass with a salted rim.)

He's made it incredibly easy for Americans to come and buy here, as he's financed it all himself, and therefore buyers don't have to go through Costa Rican banks, etc.–it's the only opportunity in the whole country like this. On top of that, he's running a special program where they'll manage and rent out your property to tourists when you're not here, if you want, which can be ultra profitable. For that reason, there are a few Americans living here. One in particular from Philadelphia, also. What are the fucking odds?

The point is that he's doing something that no one else in Costa Rica is doing, and for that reason, he's created a niche for himself. And things are going well, so I'm fascinated, as you can imagine.

(By the way, if you're interested in making a pretty damn profitable business investment here, let me know. I will get you the hook up, too. Ocean front access included, baby. $185,000. Oh, life is tough here in Costa Rica!)


As I floated on my back in the water–getting way too much sun–I was thinking about a past client who was having trouble getting people on board with her message. (i.e. Zero subscribers, zero clients, zero income, zero business.)

And guess what?

Before she said anything, I already knew why.

At the end of the day, it was because she didn't have a message for anyone to latch onto.

She was wishy washy.



Her uncertainty about herself translated into an uncertainty about her business–and it oozed right off of her, and onto potential prospects, who ALSO felt uncertain about her as a result.

For example: She loved to present balanced arguments in blog posts. Why? Because she was afraid that if she presented just one side (her actual opinion), she'd receive too much lash back. Criticism. Unflattering comments. And she'd lose the last shred of confidence she was clinging onto.

But here's the thing.

If you expect people to pay you, those same people need to feel like they have a reason to pay you. And the only reason they have to pay you, is because you know something they don't. Therefore, they need to perceive you as knowing something they don't. And the only way that's going to happen, so help me vodka, is if you speak AUTHORITATIVELY WITH CONVICTION.

This is not a game.

You are the authority.

You know your shit.

You have the solution they need.

And it is NOT up for discussion.

You need a belief that you can really stand on.

It's black and white–you or NO ONE.

Because you are THE authority on your thing.

And if you don't feel like THE authority on your thing, then go out and MAKE YOURSELF the authority on your thing. (This isn't about deceiving people–it's about hustling to become the best in the game for what you specifically do, and letting people KNOW about it with no shame, or hesitation, or wishy washy, or “wellllll…I'm trying to become this…..”  No. You either are or you aren't. There is no room for gray when it comes to marketing yourself. Stand UP and stand OUT.)

Only once you start exuding the confidence of an authority, will you be perceived as an authority, and will people pay you to be that authority.

Until then, you're more or less just the shadow of one.

And people don't pay shadows.

Shadows are creepy.

The Middle Finger Project. Not Your Grandmother's Blog.

Oct 16


She Wrote the Book On It

Oct 16, 2017

At my retreat in the Cotswolds, this past summer, I gave everyone salmon-colored Kate Spade notebooks that read on the cover: She wrote the book on it. It’s a theme I teach and live and breathe and bleed. Everyone’s always asking, “How do you market yourself? How do you get people to notice you?” (For […]

In: Online Marketing


May 2


What Do You Believe? Package THAT.

May 2, 2017

Everyone wants their ideas to spread. This is what marketing is all about. What is often neglected, however, is that you have to have an idea first. Everyone’s trying to sell “design” or “copywriting” or “coaching” or “services”—God forbid—but these things are merely categories, not concepts. What do you believe? Package THAT.       […]

In: Online Marketing


Oct 9


Your Logo On a BIC Pen Isn’t Going to Do Jack. (And Other Marketing Tactics You Can Stop Wasting Your Time With.)

Oct 9, 2013

So, you know how you’ve been fumbling around on Twitter writing awkward tweets that say things like, “So…how about that mustard?” and “FOLLOW ME, I DON’T BITE!” to which some creepy man with a mustache from Idaho immediately responds with a frowney face, making you contemplate whether or not this is a plus or a […]

In: Online Marketing


Apr 20


Own Your Edge

Apr 20, 2017

Checking into a hotel can be a nightmare. Long lines. Tourists in hiking shoes. That bald guy pounding a beer. (At least, this was the scholarly scene I witnessed yesterday.) (Just kidding, I rooted him on.)But hotels are reticent to replace humans with technology, because they fear they’ll be sacrificing “the personal touch.” Do you know […]

In: Online Marketing


Jan 18


Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Jan 18, 2013

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.  You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, after all. And this girl is headed to The Bahamas tomorrow with […]

In: Online Marketing


Oct 10


Why “Business As Usual” Is Usually Killing Your Business

Oct 10, 2012

Fun is underrated. It’s no longer enough to do a good job, provide good customer service or deliver on time. Those things aren’t competitive advantages; they’re the expectation. And since they’re the expectation, you’re not impressing anyone. What isn’t always the expectation, however, is how fun it’ll be to do business with you. Not just pleasant. […]

In: Online Marketing


Jan 16


How to Fuck Up a Sale in 27 Minutes Flat (But Still Score a Date)

Jan 16, 2012

The Scene: The United States of America. 9:57 am: Walk into L.A. Fitness. 9:58: Meet stunningly fit individual named Alberto. 10:00: Decide there is some fucked up pheromones wandering around body that insist on me + Latino men. 10:01: Wonder if Alberto’s name really is Alberto. Consider how unsexy it would be to call him […]

In: Online Marketing


Nov 17



Nov 17, 2017

I just got done doing a live video sesh with my Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends, and one author got on and was telling us that she’d recently attended a comic convention where her ideal target market was hanging out, making it much easier for her to sell her books—as opposed to getting on the giant black hole […]

In: Online Marketing


Jun 25


It’s Never About What You’re Selling. And Always About What They’re Buying. There’s a Difference.

Jun 25, 2014

Anytime I’ve seen a man in khaki, I’ve thought horrible things about his package. Maybe because they remind me of grandfathers. Or maybe because they remind me of Mr. Rogers. Either way, no female has ever wanted her boy friend to look like a boy scout. Khaki spells uptight. Conservative. Narrow-minded. Bourgeois. Which is why I […]

In: Online Marketing


I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here